This is so damned true! It took me a long time to see it this way of course. A life spent trying to live up and fit in and everything in between. Ugh! What a waste of time?! I wish that someone along the way had just taken me aside and said, “Just be you. Do what feels right. Even if what feels right seems weird. Weird is fine. Weird is great! Don’t try to be like anyone else. You are enough right now and always.” I cannot imagine how different my life would have been…but that is that.

We can’t change our past and we can’t change other people and we can’t change other people’s perceptions of us. So, why do we still try? Why do we still fight so damned hard to fit in, be accepted and to live up to this shit? I mean, I cannot possibly know what anyone thinks of me, ever…until they tell me. And even then there is little I could do to change the way they think of me.

In junior high, my now bff “Q”, believed that I was a total bitch incarnate! She’d heard things about me, mostly rumors, and wrote me off as the ultimate in bitchery (okay, part of me thinks this is awesome now but at the time that word got me into a lot of hot water, yo!). It wasn’t until we teamed up to get back at a mutual enemy (we were 13 after all) that we discovered each others awesomeness. It was after getting in trouble and having to wash the girls bathrooms together (whilst singing many a Salt ‘N Pepa song) that we bonded for life.

People make assumptions, believe rumors and often want to think the worst of others. Perhaps this is a way to elevate ones own confidence or whatever, I don’t know, but it does seem to be easier to hate someone you don’t know than it is to give them a chance (or two) and see what the real deal is. Judgment and snarking has become a national past time, sadly, and this means than anyone and everyone is being judged and doing the judging.

We don’t realize, though, that we see ourselves through the same lens as we do others. If you talk about someone’s outfit, thighs, relationships, etc., you will only see your own life and self through this hazy-judgmental lens as well. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you perpetuate this endless cycle of judgment. I no longer play or participate in this shit. I see the pointlessness and crux of it. I no longer compare myself to others, either. Again, it’s futile.

The only thing you can control is you! So…why not be the best you that you wanna be, right now?! What the hell are you waiting for?