Being the proud owner of this fine, fat body, I have often longed for certain garments that are not readily available or accessible to my size. Growing up it was more due to poverty than anything else, with Guess jeans and Keds and so many other trends I couldn’t follow (for the best I think now). As an adult with full supervision and ownership of my own underpants, I tell myself, “I can buy and wear anything I damned well please!” I have said more than once, “That dress is so gorgeous! I don’t need an occasion, I’ll wear it with a tiara to the fucking grocery store!” though no one’s ever called me on it. Ha-ha!

There are many garments that I wish I could afford, had occasion to wear or could otherwise justify my deep and urgent need to GET ON MY BODY NOW! But reality being, well, reality, that ain’t happenin’! BUT a few days ago I became obsessed with finding a fantasy item that is on-trend and seasonally appropriate, too: A candy colored, Faux Fur cropped Jacket! Oh yes! Maybe I’ve been watching too much of that show “Scream Queens” but I must have this item! It will be mine! Oh yes…it will be mine!

And so the digging began. I very quickly realized what every fat person looking for fun fatshions runs into: no colors! Oh sure, I could find my perfect jacket if I want black, ivory or leopard. Blegh! NO! I want baby pink, baby blue, mint green, LAVENDER, teal, fuschia…fun, candy colors! I want that ridiculous pop of color and I want rich (fake) lushness of the faux fur, not some matted or shaggy disaster. I know what image I have in my head, but I’ve become convinced that it does not in fact exist in my size (26/28 typically). I can find ombre, striped, patchy-multi-colors, “teddy” which is a marled teddy bear like fur (gross), and every manner of very plain jacket in black, ivory or leopard. NO!

I got my google-woo a-flowin’ and really dove in head first into this silly obsession of mine. I searched more than fifty web sites! Y’all know there aren’t that many plus size fashion sites online, I mean there are and there aren’t, ya know? Oh and if you want a lovely faux fur vest? No problem! Lots of options for some very fashion forward vests…but my torso rarely gets cold, y’all. My arms though? Always cold! No vests for me, thanks. I searched hi-end and low. I looked at more sites than I had ever previously heard of. And you know I always-always-always check eBay and Amazon first, right? Ugh! No dice!!!

While I haven’t made my final decision, I did come up with a couple of options that I might go with, outside of having a custom one made (which I’m still pondering since at least I know it would fit). Truth be told, I don’t have the money. I’m taking my puggo to the vet today for a follow up on his endless itchiness. His prescription food costs a fortune, his ear and eye drops, too. I don’t need this fantasy jacket. I’ll admit to being an obsessive person in general, but y’all know I’m a bargain hunter! I feel like I can work this out or maybe santa will visit me a bit early? Ha-ha! It’s fun to hunt for things, I find I’m good at it and enjoy it, so there’s no harm in the search.

This might be my first choice on style and color. I’m a sucker for a minty blue or green. It’s a shorter jacket with shorter sleeves. I love the look of the fur too, soft and luscious. It says it fits true to size, but with a 3x showing as equal to a size 22 with a bust of 50-52″ and hips at just 52-54″ it would be a huge risk at $169.

This is the exact same jacket as the Mint one above, only in “blush” (also available in charcoal grey) which I secretly love. I think baby pink or light pink has become my color staple of the season.

Same sizing as the two above, but this color?!?! Lavender!!! Also available in dusty teal and some more real-fur-color options. $179 Gorgeous, though. Maybe a bit too shaggy for me, though.

This one I am seriously considering. This is the fuschia color I would choose, but the midnight blue it comes in is also lovely (also in black). I know it’s not a shorter jacket like I described, but the fur and color of this one is just oooooh!!! Unfortunately there are two major concerns with this one. One being sizing, with a UK28 listed as having a bust of 50-52″ and hip of 50-52″ I do not even think it would go around my hips. The second main concern is that it’s UK shipping only, so I’d have to sweet talk one of my lovely UK friends into being the middle man on this deal. Without the certainty of it fitting, I just can’t take that risk.

This one is a bit of a surprise, no? I mean, no color. It’s listed as Champagne, which would usually be a no from me, but this is sort of classy-sassy-versatile. At $74.99 with possible coupon code options, it’s certainly on the more affordable end of things. Again with the sizing though. A 3x is listed as equal to a US 24/26 or 53-54″ bust and 55-57″ hip, the most generously sized thus far. I’m not immediately in love with it though.

This is just ridiculous! I love it! The colors! OOOOH! But the length is fun, not cropped but just below hip level. That teal with magenta accents is just making me scream right now, “OHMAHGAH GET ON ME ALREADY!!!” It only goes up to a UK24 which is like a US22, right? It’s handmade in Scotland which sounds fantastic to me and certainly worth the £220.00 but then getting it to the US and all, complicated and it wouldn’t even fit! Ack!

The color! The fun and silly hearts! This is something out of a 90’s dream or nightmare, depending upon your own comfort levels. When I saw this I was in disbelief at it being plus size. BUT it’s listed as “One Size” and we all know that’s a heap of bullshit (with one exception in known history being Teggings from ReDressNYC.com because those things really are one size for all and they are made of magic and wonder and are my personal lord and savior!) This is also handmade in Scotland and only £190.00. Super doubtful it would fit me, though. Ugh!

Surprisingly, the only place I could find a faux fur coat in any fun colors, in an easily accessible and absolutely fat friendly place was Roaman’s! This coat isn’t for me, it’s just not really what I am going for. Having said that, it does come in this lovely boysenberry color that’s not bad as well as an evening blue and black (plus a couple of real fur-like colors). $99-$119 isn’t bad for this, all things considered and they’ll ship anywhere, I believe. The fit is a no-brainer, a 2x would fit me perfectly.

When I asked a friend in the know to keep an eye out for a fun colored faux fur jacket for me I sent her the link to this beauty! Ohmigosh! I mean?!?! I would wear this in a hot minute! So cute! I mean, it’s almost perfect with bonus hoodie and ears! I was really only looking for this style minus those features but this is just too awesome! So awesome in fact that it’s only available in a L and XL with the latter being a 42″ bust. NOPE! Not gonna happen. Boo! Poo! Whaaaaaaa! Also, the fur on this doesn’t look very nice, to be honest. But at only $53.56 it’s the cheapest option I’ve seen, just wouldn’t fit my bodaciousness.

So that’s that! My faux fur jacket fantasy is still unfulfilled, but I have a better idea of what I want and don’t want. Like it must be lined, I hate the feeling of the underside of faux fur. Pockets would be ideal! I’m still open on the color, but I tend to lean more blues-teals. I will include the list of sites I have tried just for certainty’s sake and so y’all can see I didn’t just try one page of a google search! Ha! If you do happen to know where I could get one made custom or found in my size (that you have actually seen, not “hey you should try lane bryant!”), or if you have a gently used one you’d like to sell, do let me know!

Do you have a fatshion fantasy? What item do you long to don on your fat body? What factors are preventing you from owning this lovely garment? Tell me!!!

Rad Fatty Love,
<3
S

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Amazon
eBay
SimplyBe
YoursClothing
Evans
Torrid
Lane Bryant
Avenue
HotTopic
Roaman’s
WomanWithin
FullBeauty
Land’s End
J.Jill
Rue107
ReDressNYC
Asos
JCP
Sears
Macy’s
Nordstrom
CityChic
UllaPopken
RebDolls
AdditionElle
UniversalStandard
MammothOuterwear
FabulousFurs
ColdWaterCreek
PlusSizePosh
ChristopherAndBanks
Catherine’s
Maurice’s
CatoFashions
MarksAndSpencer
JessicaLondon
Curvissa
HouseOfFraser
Target
Walmart
6pm
Zappos
Ark
H&M
Forever21
Poshmark
LordAndTaylor
Rue21
Polyvore
RebelCircus
ChubbyCartwheels
ReadyToStare
Buxom
CopperUnion
WitchWorldwide
Bombsheller
Zulily
Igigi
Eloquii
DorothyPerkins
AshleyStewart
Etsy
MonifC
YonaNewYork
IsolatedHeroes
OldNavy
ModCloth
BurlingtonCoatFactory
WetSeal

ETA:
FashionToFigure
SweetEchoPlus
AppleSeeds
Blair
BedfordFair
Ashro
BonTon
DrJay’s
EddieBauer
CharlotteRusse
Dillard’s
DressBarn
Kohl’s
LaRedoute
MidnightVelvet
neimanmarcus
NorthStyle
OldPuebloTraders
ThePyramidCollection (Had this fun number: http://www.pyramidcollection.com/itemdy00.aspx?T1=PF5113+XS)
QVC (This being the cutest option: http://qvc.co/1XYqSkz)
SaksFifthAvenue
SierraTradingPost
TogShop
Wilson’sLeather
debenhams
DebShops
Kmart
FiftyPlus (Gorgeous but not what I’m going for TEAL: http://www.fiftyplus.co.uk/shop/joanna-hope-faux-fur-trim-coat/kb996/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=3481#colour:Teal,size:32)
Marisota (I like this, just wish it had fun colors http://www.marisota.co.uk/shop/cropped-faux-fur-jacket/ju934/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=3484#colour:Midnight,size:30)
Matalan
BonPrix
FashionWorld
Julipa