I don’t have anything TMI to share today. I am wracking my brain and it’s come up empty, y’all! WTF?! Ha-ha!

I could tell you about my non-v-day last night; I was frankly too tired to care. I felt that my husband was trying, but I cannot put in words the amount of tired I had. And this got me thinking that I may be getting that tap on the shoulder from Mister Depression. Fuck that, but I’m also too tired to fight it. I mean, well, I’ve had insomnia since I was twelve years old. It’s evolved over time and is much more manageable now thanks to so many years of experience and a great mattress (tempur pedic, but not for everyone). Combine this with running my own business and trying to stay in the fat-o-sphere loop and have a social life? I’m pooped! Ha!

So, shit! Let’s go with this as the TMI topic: Sleep Issues!

I do not believe that I have sleep apnea. My husband however thinks it would be “fun” to get tested. When I explain to him that A.) we can’t afford to even use the insurance we have and B.) that shit freaks me right the fuck out and I woudln’t be able to sleep without sedation outside of my own bed anyway, what the hell is the point? My insomnia began with the inability to fall asleep. This still crops up from time to time but is usually stress/anxiety related. Usually my sleep pattern is something like this: fall asleep fine, wake up 2 hours later due to noises outside or some other bullshit, wake up 2 hours later to turn over/pee/etc, wake up one hour before alarm goes off, just start a fantastic dream and the alarm goes off. Sometimes I have a hard time getting back to sleep oonce awake,  but not often. The noise issue has been greatly reduced since we m oved last February, but ear plugs are horrifically uncomfortable for me and I have an ear comfort issue already (I once woke up in the night because a bug flew into my ear hole and it’s left me very insecure in bed, so I usually cover them with the blaket).

Now I’ve tried every over the counter thing in creation. I used Meletonin for many years and even bought some again recently to see if they’d work; they did not. I tried somne prescription meds back in my teens, but they didn’t want me on them and insisted my growth had been stunted by the OTC ones by that point (I was 16 and they were full of shit). I used to drink to help me sleep when I was 19 and 20. That lead to some pretty bad stuff and I knocked it off. Sometimes I’ll have a glass of wine, but that’s usually with dinner now anyway. I try not to drink too many fluids before bed so I don’t have to get up. I steer away from any caffeine after 4pm. It sounds severe, but it works for me. I also only go in my room for sleep, dressing or sexy times. We no longer have a television in our room either.

The new prescription meds I have not tried because they freak me out. I have friends who would do things and not remember them. One would have out of body experiences while another would email or text or call people and speak nothing but gibberish. I just have too many trust issues to even consider taking a quarter of a pill of that shit. I can’t handle not being in control of my actions or body. No thanks! I know it works for some and to them I say hooray! I know how shitty it is to almost never get a good night’s sleep. My favorite thing is to wake up in the exact position I fell asleep in knowing that I did not move at all in the night. This happens about once a year. Ha!

So, what are your sleep issues? Do you use a CPAP machine? Did it take you awhile to get comfortable sleeping with it? How has your sleeping issues affected your relationships? What works for you? Tell me all about it!

Thanks,
<3
S

This is a TMI Tuesday post, you know the drill by now don’t ya? If you know me or would just rather not know icky/personal things about me, please come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled program, or something. HA! <3

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What band? How about the bra band and waist band? Good enough for ya? Yeah, famous! Ha! I’m talking about the issues that these areas have to deal with thanks to the ridiculously designed garments we’re supposed to wear. Ugh!

Waist band issues are certainly something all walks of life can relate to, right? If you wear pants, skirts, certain styles of dresses, tights, pantyhose, underwear, diapers…anything with a waist band, then you know what can happen. On the milder side you can get those indentations or lines from the garment or elastic pressing against your tender flesh. No fun, but usually not painful. Though I used to enjoy rubbing those lines in a relieving sort of way. But waist bands can cause way more problems than just that! And how?! Rashes, dryness, sores, boils, sweating, blisters, infections…the list goes on!

I used to wear classic 5 pocket denim jeans from Lane Bryant way back when (I’m talking 1997-2000 or so). They were thick and sturdy and did alright for the music store job I had. But man, those waist bands sucked! I would work my ass off all day just to have to deal with this extra thick band soaked in my own sweat that would thus give me pimples and all kinds of other issues. I remember long days of more manual labor intensive work where I would be in total pain and completely distracted because of the friggin’ waist band of these jeans. Luckily, years later, I found a style more suiting to my shape at Avenue and have since bought 7 pair so I won’t have to put up with that shit again! They are thinner and have some stretch and they lay just under my waist when standing (though lately the button seems to want to invade my belly button without it’s prior consent) and since I am my own boss they are fine for work.

I know jeans are difficult for anyone to find no matter their size, but I have had a terrible time finding ones that work with my giant thighs/ass but also work for my shortish legs. I am willing to bet that this is a typical thing though. And the issue with the waist bands causing a skin reaction, y’all have had this, right? I only occasionally have issues with this now, but when it’s crazy hot out it does come back. Perhaps more of a heat rash though.

Bra bands! Oh the under boob issues! This one I have yet to truly remedy for myself. I get mad issues from bras, man. I know I’m not alone! I have fairly big boobs (50DD I think, though I wear a 44DD in a specific LB bra because that’s as big as it goes and it’s comfy for a bra) and I guess somewhere along the way just assumed or was told that if you are big breasted you must a.) wear an under wire bra your entire life and b.) put up with marks, scarring, blemishes and such under your boobs and just shut up about it will ya?! NO! Do I shut up about anything? Heeeelllll No! Ha! But this is a never ending battle for me and a lot of ladies.

You get a bra that’s cute, but it hurts. You get a bra that’s comfy, but it’s ugly or wears out crazy fast. You get a bra that specifically does something (minimizes, cushion straps, insulated wires, etc) and either it doesn’t do what it promised or it wears out too fast and is no longer effective. And let’s not even get into the sizing issue! Ugh! But the fabrics used to construct these wonder garments? Mostly synthetics and rarely are they soft or supple at all and some are downright rough on the skin! I used to buy the criss-cross in the front style bras that were so popular in the 90’s, but then I found Lane Bryant’s bras to be more supportive. Then I couldn’t figure out my size (they didn’t offer fitting then) and would often have quadra-boob and not know it. Then I would get cotton ones from LB, loved them, but they would poke me in the arm pits! Or the under wires would pop out the sides. BOO!

The bras I have been wearing for almost 7 years are the convertible bras from LB. I bought one for my wedding (needed a strapless one that would stay put) and then kept going back for more and more until that was all I owned. What I love about it is that it has this gel/silicone piping along the bands and cups and it really keeps it in place, thus no chafing or rubbing. Plus it has some light padding so if it’s cold, no one can tell that my headlights are on! They have round and smooth cups. I can’t stand pointed or tubular cups. And yeah, it’s nice that if I have a dress or top that may require a different style that I can just convert it to suit my needs. However, I’ve only done this a handful of times as I use it as an everyday sort of bra. What I don’t like about it is that it doesn’t come bigger and so the first few wearings can be a bit uncomfortable. I’ve learned to hang dry them, but they still go into the washing machine. I don’t hand wash a thing! And I don’t iron or do windows, just sayin’! Ha!

I do still get a pretty impressive amount of blemishes/bumps/sores/etc under my bra band. It sucks! I try to give my rack a day off about once a week, but I generally feel immensely self-conscious when not wearing my usual bra. Both because the ladies aren’t where they usually are and this causes my clothing to fit strangely and so I am just not feeling like myself. But when I have an under boob sore? I try to wear a sports bra instead. Or, if I am at work or some other need-to-look-nice or be confident setting, I will wear a Pambra under my bra. A Pambra is basically a liner that sits between the bra and your skin. They also make them for tummies now! I don’t wear my Pambra every day, just when I have a painful sore or it’s going to be a hotter day and I may sweat there. I have tried powder to remedy this (I also get pimples or whatever between my thighs, arm pits and where the leg holes of my underwear sits due to what I believe is Hidradenitis suppurativa though I have not been diagnosed) but to no avail.

I recently heard about women who get these same types of issues where their bra straps lay on their shoulders. Oh man, I had not known about this and I am sorry to anyone who deals with it. Please share your tips or suggestions or horror stories in comments, you never know who you may help!

What issues have you encountered with the above bands? What has helped? What’s made it worse? What bras should I try out? Because I am seriously not loving LB these days and want to find a more permanently comfortable bra and with a 48/50 inch chest (under boob) it’s hard! Tell me all about it! =0)

I hadn’t planned on a TMI post today, but since a fabulous friend called me “The Queen of TMI” last week, well, that sort of sealed the deal.

Let’s see, we’ve discussed our lady bits, toilet/bathroom issues, sex, masturbation, positions…What’s left? Oh! I know!

Stuff I’ve broken with my Fat Ass! I love hearing stories about this and while I only have one major breakage issue, I’d love to hear more, more and MORE! This is the part where I say, “If you know me or would just rather not know personal/TMI things about me, please come back tomorrow” where I’ll be recapping the Second Telesummit for BodyLoveRevolution.com! Woo!

I am sure I have broken more than a thing or two in my life with my fat ass, but for some reason I can only think of one: Toilet Seats!

I’ve actually broken about three or four of them and all within a very short amount of time, I must say. It was a few years ago, before I was fully accustomed to the Fat Acceptance way of thinking, but I was getting there. My husband and I had been living together for ages and while we try not to fart or poop in front of each other (well, at least I don’t) we’re generally quite comfortable talking about everything if not doing whatever it is in front of the other.

One night when I got home from work I went to the restroom to relieve myself (I always have to at least pee the moment I get home, it’s a long drive!), I believe I was doing the wiping bit and I leaned forward a bit too far and heard the worst sound I could have imagined.  The sound of plastic snapping in a thuddish sort of way at the same time. The toilet seat had broken. “Oh shit! What the hell?” I thought. “What am I going to do?” Panic! Pant-pant, eyes darting around tiny room…”Fuck!” Nothing to be done. I tried to sort of mush it back together a bit. It was like a fiber/particle board with a plastic coating over it so the fibers did sort of stay together with the mushing. At some point it had registered that it was my giantess ass (I love the word giantess) that did this major act of destruction and I had to hide it until I could replace it the following day.

The trouble was that I had a hell of a time getting the old one off. Who knows how long it had been stuck on there?! But I sheepishly headed to my local hardware store (OSH for inquiring minds) and picked a cheap, but sturdy looking model. I sped home and installed the new one. Husband noticed but only said, “Cool.” and nothing more. I think I had some story about having to step onto the seat to reach some make-up or something off of a shelf. Ha! I always ask him to reach things for me, so he must have known. Oh well. Not two days later I broke the new one. This time the husband went with me to the hardware store (it is as much if not more a girl’s best friend than a diamond I tell ya). We chose a slightly more expensive and somewhat sturdier looking one this time. Got it all installed and seemed just fine.

A week later? Yep, I broke it! “For fuck’s sake!” was heard shouted from the bathroom. It seemed to me at this point that all toilet seats were vulnerable to the magnitude of my gargantuan ass! (Those last two words said in the character of the father from “So I Married An Axe Murderer.”) Also, they all seemed to be constructed of the same thing and in the same way. Thing is? None have a weight rating and at this point I had figured that it wasn’t simply my weight, but the major lean forward I do to stay extra clean ‘n fresh while wiping my bits. Hmm…I went to a couple of stores this time and selected what I thought would have to be the sturdiest model that didn’t have weird decor on it. (Have you see the clear ones with the fish? Or glitter? Honestly?! Ridiculous!) And the craziest part yet? It never broke! It’s probably still at our old apartment and lookin’ hella fine, too! I chose a nice one with shiny steel hardware. So classy!

So, what have you broken with your fat ass? I am dying to know! Have fun with it. No hatin’! Y’all know the rules by now.  =0)

Also, feel free to discuss other TMI topics. I am still talking about the masturbating post with people. Bring it on!

Thanks,
<3
S