Yes, even you!

Last night my good friend Carmen and I headed up to San Francisco to attend a free burlesque workshop at Good Vibrations. I was fortunate enough to have met and been invited to the workshop by the instructor and incredibly fabulous lady, Virgie Tovar. She is such a sweetheart and bad ass, simultaneously! You just don’t even know! Ha-ha! But I was excited about learning some new moves and in such a welcoming and comfortable and accepting environment (a rare thing indeed).

If you’ve never been to a Good Vibrations location, you’re in for such a treat! Imagine a sex toy shop, but set up like a fancy boutique! And the employees were all so calm and nice and just welcoming. Everything you could hope for in a sex toy shop! What I loved most about Good Vibrations is that they had demo/display models of every toy they carried! You could actually pick them up, touch and feel, turn them on (hello! So you know how powerful a vibe is–whoa!) and see what they can do! This was fabulous for me because I just never know what I want or like or whatever. Carmen was instantly attracted to the high-end stuff (go figure) because of the colors and design of their toys. Gorgeous, no lie, but $150? No dice!

We filed into the back room while Virgie set up for the class. It seemed more and more people kept coming in an almost endless stream. Finally everyone arrived and was seated and Virgie started the class. And she was just so friendly and cool and like that awesome older sister that girl had in high school? The one in college when y’all were sophomores? Yeah, the reeeeeeeeeeally cool one! That’s Virgie! She started by having up loosen up and just getting ready to move our stuff and shake our money makers (my words, not hers). Then she put on the music and showed us, very patiently, some burlesque moves.

She began with the classic and essential (in my opinion) shimmy! Anyone with a rack of doom can certainly pull this one off without a hitch. It’s a pretty simple move of just really shaking your shoulders so that your chest gets a good jiggling! Then we were instructed on “the bump” which is taking your hips and bumping them out on each side. As though you’re knocking something out of your way with your hips, one at a time. Then we were instructed on some arm movements, pelvic thrusts, feeling ourselves up and a special finishing move that is just too good to share here! So much fun!

What I found interesting was the great diversity in not only sizes of bodies in the class, but also ages and ethnicities and more! Plus, there were like three or four guys in the class, too! In fact, when it came time for us to perform our choreographed moves and a quick freestyle bit in groups of five and six in front of the class, the guys participated, too! It was so cool! We even got to use props! I chose a bright red feather boa and pretended to look like I knew what the hell I was doing! Ha-ha! The music was fun and perfect, too! everything from Prince’s “Erotic City” to Madonna’s “Vogue” and even 50 Cent and Kelis! All totally fitting and appropriate, I thought.

After the class I stayed to chat with Virgie and some other lovely ladies I had met at previous local fat events, Hi Allison & Alex! *Waves*
Virgie was kind enough to allow a couple of photos of us to be taken and so we had a bit of fun with it:

(Trying to re-enact the painting behind us.)

Next we headed back out into Good Vibrations for a bit of shopping! I had seen one specific toy that I almost bought online, but since it was the same price (and no shipping) and we got a 10% off coupon by attending the class I couldn’t say no! I thought it was extra awesome that they ask if you’d like to donate a dollar to planned parenthood, to which I most certainly said yes! How could I not? With the discount, tax and $1 for PP, it still ended up cheaper than the regular price! Chah!

By evening’s end, I had had a great time with a great friend and got to hang out with fellow fat fabulous ladies while learning some new dance moves! Who could ask for more?

Thanks, Virgie, for all that you do, gurl! You rock!
<3
S

My friend, who bought the book “Health At Every Size” by Linda Bacon PHD, came in yesterday asking me what a specific paragraph meant. While English is not her first language and she would generally call her use/understanding of it to be poor, on this I must disagree as I see no issue with it from her what so ever. With that in mind though, the paragraph in question suggested to the reader to give up the fight against fat/your body. To quit and to trust your body to know what it needs and to listen to it. (Sorry, I lent my copy out and cannot actually quote it.) This concept seemed so alien to her that she had me read it aloud to her and then explain it a few different ways until she fully grasped the concept. Good on her for truly wanting to understand. I am so proud of her, y’all have no idea!

Let’s think on this a moment though. To give up fighting that which our entire society has deemed bad? I can see how this could be confusing for just about anyone, honestly. And I think this is also something that many of us, even the fat acceptance veterans, still struggle with. TRUSTING YOUR BODY!!! We are told from an early age (many of us) to do exactly the opposite! Don’t “give in” or “cave” or “indulge” if you’re craving something. We’re never taught to look into the reason why we may have such a craving. The fact that many people (not just women) believe that deep down they would never stop eating? Wow! It really makes me see just how bad a job we’ve done in educating the public on nutrition. You know?

From a recent post about substitutions:

“One of the things I’ve learned from my own intuitive eating journey is that when I am craving something, there is usually a reason. Not just a “ooh that looks tasty” kind of craving. More of a physiological one. For instance, once a month I crave roast beef deli style sandwiches. Nothing will be a worthy substitute. I can try all manner of turkey or other sandwiches, but they will never be the thinly sliced loveliness of that roast beef sammie in my mind. I must have what I want or I will feel unsatisfied and try as I might, nothing else will do. Same thing for a nice and simple piece of good chocolate! Oh sure, you can give me a bite of your prized brownies, but it won’t fulfill that inner need for something smooth and rich and creamy. And there’s a reason I want those two things so consistently: I’m in need of iron and protein and whatever else is in that roast beef and chocolate is a mood lifter and when else do I need that most?!” (Quoting myself? Um, okay!)

We’ve become so inundated by marketing and diet industry jargon that we buy into it without question. And when you stop questioning things, well, they’ve already won, right? They prey on our fears and exaggerate if not outright fictionalize “facts” and “figures” and “statistics” all in the name of MOOLAH!!! Money, it doesn’t just make the world “go ’round”, no, it also feeds a giant systemic machine that keeps us all numb and dumb and ready to buy buy buy more more more! And it’s so fucking hard to step outside of that system. It is downright radical and extreme a concept to want to unplug from the matrix that is dieting. So what are we to do? It’s just easier to keep chugging along in misery (how they want us) going from one fad diet to the next (I don’t care if it’s called a lifestyle change, it’s still a fucking diet!) until we die! That is what they want, you see. They want us to fork over our hard earned cash, day in and day out, in the hopes of being happy/thin, until we die.

It is an interesting time in the world right now. People are waking up and realizing that they don’t have to live this way. They are speaking up and out and rising up against the powers that be in hopes of changing the world for a better tomorrow. I am in awe of them all! They inspire me so much. But in America? Eh, not so much (but thank the stars for the few who do). We’re lazy and jaded and tired and “no one will listen anyway” and any other excuse you can pull out of your ass. We have jobs to go to and mortgages to pay for or try to save from foreclosure. We have children to worry about and our elderly to care for. We don’t have time to think let alone stand up for our own health and well being anymore. We are slaves to a system and little else, I think. I don’t mean to sound so depressing, but when you step back and look at it? It’s pretty close to the truth. Why else would we require jobs but to pay for food and shelter? Yet how many people do you know have zero debt? Exactly!

So how could we possibly think we can trust our own bodies to do what is right when we’re never told this, we’re never allowed the luxury! We keep buying the next big thing, be it Louboutins or Special K milkshakes, in hopes of somehow improving our lives when all we need and have ever needed is within our own power and our own bodies! That trust is hard to find, too. Even when you begin to believe in the concept and try your best, it’s very difficult. I won’t lie! Even I have a hard time. I look at my portions and wonder if I’m eating too much. I know it’s bullshit and I fight these thoughts, but they are there. It’s nearly impossible to forget a lifetime of programming. But I am always working on it! I hope we can all find a way to escape the clutches of the diet industry. For our own sakes.

Thanks,
<3
S

While gearing up for the Fat Flesh mob last Friday, I had wanted tp wear something special, to make a statement and feel good in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that my “Fat” necklace would be included. When I mentioned this to some friends, three different gals said that they would also be donning their “Fat” necklaces. When I arrived, Marilyn Wann had one on as well. And once there and chatting with all of the wonderful people I met that day, so many asked where I got my “Fat” necklace. I had no idea such a simple thing would be so sought after.

The “Fat” necklace is a statement piece. It is something truly special and to be worn with great pride. Providing, of course, you have the sanity points to deal with the unique reactions you may get while wearing it in public. I’ve gotten everything from people avoiding eye contact with me to laughter with a side of “That’s awesome!” with it. But I especially loved wearing it to the Flesh Mob on INDD. I held my head high and wore my “Fat” necklace as a sign of my comittment and gratitude to be part of the fat acceptance movement, to fight for the equal treatment of all bodies. However, one good friend wore hers to a party where people incessantly discussed and offered her dieting bullshit. Ugh! Some will just never get it, I guess.

Of course it all began (for me anyway) when Natalie (of definatalie.com fame) designed and offered her (and in my eyes the original) “Fat” necklace. I still think it is the prettiest design, but alas, I am far too broke for such a purchase. Nicole bought one from Natalie and I know everyone was asking about it! And you know you’ve not only designed something asthetically lovely but also radically of-the-moment when someone gets your design tattooed on their flesh! I have no links or pics, but I’ve seen at least two gals with her design on them.

So, then I posted a pic/GIF the other day with my “Fat” necklace and a few commenters were interested in where I got mine and/or how they could get one for themselves at a lower price. I want to tread lightly on the subject because I am a firm believer in supporting independant artists and protecting their work. I ask that you do consider buying your necklace from Natalie, but if you absolutely cannot swing it, then I shall offer the few options I could find on Etsy (by independant designers, handmade, many local to the U.S.). Unfortunately the gal who made my necklace has closed-up shop. But the lettering is like that from the movie “Fame” from the 80’s (bitchin’ movie).

Here is what I could find on Etsy, but I have not personally purchased from them before:
Sugar & Vice  offers a few different options both in font as well as a banner style I loved.
Wacodis has one listing with seemingly limitless options (and amazing price, but only in clear letters).
Everlasting Doodle offers customization of most of their designs. So many!
I also found out that Tap Plastics offers pretty much the same thing minus the chain and such. I have not used them before but have heard nothing but great things about them in general. Nothing specific in regards to this option for a necklace, but due to their reputation I have no doubt that they will work with you!

Thank you to Natalie who brought the concept of the “Fat” necklace into our world and being an amazing artist, blogger, activist and person. You inspire us all! <3

 If you do get or have a “Fat” necklace, do send a pic of you wearing it my way (include links, too!) so I might compile a lovely post in the future to show our “Fat” necklace glory to the world!
Email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Thanks,
<3
S

I posted my review about Pambra’s awhile back, but just received a new comment about it and I wanted to share it with you:

“Just wanted to comment on what a great review of Pambra’s this is. I hate my bras and underwire, and Pambra’s made all the difference. That’s why we decided to start selling them at More of Me to Love. We have the lowest prices, free shipping on two packs or more, and for all readers of NotBlueAtAll, we will give an additional 10% off all Pambra’s. Just input “NotBlueAtAll” into the Discount Code field of your shopping cart. If you have any Pambra’s questions, let us know!”

Wow! How awesome is that? Very! A great deal if you’ve been putting off trying them or didn’t want to pay shipping. I love when shipping is free! I might have to pick up a couple for myself! ‘Cause when it’s hot outside? You never feel like you have enough Pambra’s! Rock on!

Last night while grocery shopping (I know, that never happens), I was looking at some stuff in the deli case when this woman behind me had what appeared to be a breakthrough of some sort. I say this because she looked as though she left reality/her body for a moment. I heard behind me a great inhalation and gasp. This made me turn around for fear I might be in danger of some sort. Then she exclaimed, “Oh my god! I can’t believe it!” as she grabbed a package of sausage from it’s hook with both hands and held it to her bosom. “From my childhood!” she tried to explain desperately, seeming in disbelief herself as she tried to make her shopping companion understand as she herself seemed nearly unable to grasp the sudden impact this finding had. She stood there a bit just holding and staring at this sausage in it’s vacuum sealed package. The kind that is a single link but shaped like an open-ended teardrop.

This encounter had an effect on me. “Certainly I’ve felt that way about something before,” I thought to myself. She just seemed so happy! As though that sausage was some sort of missing link in a wonderful chain of memories and this link being what would finally drive her to pure happiness forever and ever, infinity! As I grow older, every day, little snippets of childhood memories start to come together or they don’t. I find that I can remember things quite vividly now that I couldn’t recall at all just a few years ago. Things from my childhood do certainly bring me to a temporary state of bliss. Sadly, as a kid who grew up during the 80’s, most  of those things are being modernized and re-sold to a new generation of kids who will never know or see their original form.

Food is such a comforting thing sometimes. When you’re a poor kid? It’s even more so. I certainly remember eating almost that same sausage as a “treat” for dinner as a kid. I remember getting some change together with my childhood best friend Riana, saddling up on our bikes and heading to the 7-11 for a spree of Jolly Ranchers, Now And Laters and sometimes taffy or soda. We were always able to stretch our quarters and dimes. Often she and I would hit up Manor Market for a big bar of taffy and a matching soda (for $1, no kidding), I’d always get strawberry, she always grape. We would head back to her house and bedroom with our spoils and laugh and enjoy our treats. We would giggle as the taffy would sort of lean over while resting against our soda cans. We’d pretend that the taffy wanted some soda, too! We made up stories and names for them. Then we’d play with our Strawberry Shortcake dolls and giggle some more.

When a friend mentioned getting a writing assignment for my hometown and the YMCA there I immediately said, “The one by Palm Park, right?” he wasn’t sure, but I was. And suddenly all of the good and bad memories and days upon days spent at that very park came flooding back. The heartache and shame. The stolen bike. The dirty magazine we found in the bushes that time. The tire swing. The splinters and scrapes. The cartwheels and frisbee games. And later, the boys and the make outs, the bickering and the end of an era. I hope I never forget my childhood and Riana. While there was some terrible stuff at times, it was mostly fantastic. We always had something to do when we were together. Even completely bored, we weren’t alone and that seemed enough most times.

Last night I was mentally putting together “the ultimate outfit” in my head (as I often do) and had a sudden spark of memory of my own, brighter than light itself: The perfect belt! And it came from my childhood! Not only that, my husband said he had the same fucking belt?! WTF?! How rad is that? The belt? Clear plastic skinny belt with rainbow pinstripes and a tiny metal/silver horse shoe buckle. Wow! I need this belt in my life NOW! Anyone else remember such a thing?

I say let’s all embrace these funny and quirky memories and just go with them. Let us all get swept up in a moment like the lady at the grocery store and just be in awe of that moment itself. Let it wrap it’s nostalgia around you and carry you back into childhood dreams and fantasies! Because it was back then that hopefully we didn’t care what anyone else thought of us, we were just kids and that was all we needed to be. <3