Sometimes all we need for a swift kick in the fatshion pants is to hang out with a fellow rad fatty, steal their clothes, go thrift shopping and then, you know, like wear something! I was lucky enough to do just that on Tuesday, with Nicole of AWellRoundedVenture! We talked and talked and shopped and lunched and thrifted and talked and talked (mostly about the fabulous Kath of FatHeffalump and her loveliness)! It was a fabulous day in the East Bay, okay, it’s was hella hot, but it was still tons o’ fun! I got this top from Nicole who was getting rid of a lot of clothes and while it’s something I’d never have picked for myself in style and color, I put it on this morning and am loving it! I’m like truly happy and feeling all girly and femme (not usual for moi)!

Also, before heading out to hang with Nicole, I decided I needed to paint my fingers and toe nails! I haven’t painted my finger nails in over three years! I feel so pretty and special and sweet today! My MIL gave me her O.P.I. “Suzy Sells Sushi By The Seashore” before she left and I couldn’t wait to give it a spin! Not sure if I’ll give nail stamping a go (it looks incredible, but also time consuming). This was my first step towards a new whatever. Ha-ha! I’m in a great mood and just wanna share it with you! =0)

The top is Old Navy, the bottoms are cuffed Chinos from Avenue (two years ago?) and the flip flops are Skechers via Ross (they have sequins)! Also, my headband with the flower is from Ross.  If you have a Ross Dress For Less near you, check it out! Headband was $3.99, I bought four colors and love them and get compliments every time I wear ’em! Necklace is from Kohl’s, not sure of the brand. Glasses are from Sears, love them! They are lavender and have faint glitter throughout. Seriously, my bespectacled lovelies, check out your JCPenny & Sears for sales on your specs (2 for $100 when I bought mine)! And the smile? Courtesy of the afterglow of hanging out with the ever stylish and inspiring Nicole! Thanks gurl! You made my week! <3

A lovely reader of this blog, “JaneDoe” wanted to make me a “Fat Bitch” necklace and well, how could I say no?! Emails were exchanged, facts and figures were shared and then I received a lovely little something in my mailbox:

The other day I took my mother in law to the outlet mall nearby (she’d never been, lived here 30 years). I was desperately wanting to hit up the Lane Bryant (LB) outlet so I could get a steal on some bras or whatever! Funny thing, we walked into the entrance right next to the LB outlet! Woo! We were both pretty excited to see what deals were in store for us as we’re both pro bargain huntresses!

This particular LB outlet had one side entirely Cacique. Sweet! We dove right in…only it was more expensive than even their website! What?! We asked the sales person and she basically agreed that it was weird, but left it at that.  So we headed over to the LB outlet side and began our hunting. Only, the bargains were nil! Seriously! Everything was around $50 and their sales only gave you about $5 off of that.  I was surprised at some of the styles there, but it is an outlet so I let that go fairly quickly. But the prices? Let’s put it this way, I walked out empty handed. I went in fully intending to blow quite a wad of cash, but just wasn’t inspired and was downright offended at some of the pricing on that stuff ($30 for a cami?! In an outlet?!).

And I think this latest experience sealed the deal for me. I no longer want to give my money to Lane Bryant. They don’t understand their customers and don’t even try to! Their prices go up, quality goes way down (enough with the fucking polyester! WE DON’T WANT IT!!!) and their “sales” suck! And don’t get me started on their damned coupons and “real women” dollars. UGH!!! *HeadDesk5,000*

Look, Lane Bryant, I get it! You have a huge share of this “niche” market (pishaw!) and you wanna take advantage of that. Go for it! But don’t expect your longtime and formerly loyal customers to stick around while you screw ’em over at every turn! Why would you even consider keeping your normal pricing in an outlet with rejected goods/styles? Did you not know we were in some sort of apocalipto-economy right now? Oh you didn’t? You were too busy counting your millions? Oh, I’ll just leave you to that then…NOT!!! Your wares suck! The fit of your clothing is all wongo now. I used to be able to just walk in and buy whatever in a size 26/28 and know it would fit. Now? That is a joke! Now I have to try on every single damned thing and hope it fits because sometimes it does and more often it doesn’t and it’s never in the same ways!

So, Lane Bryant, as I am about to re-enter the workforce and have money to spend on clothing again, guess who isn’t going to spend it in your shops or on your websites? Moi! I will gladly seek out indie designers, thrift store options or even try my hand at sewing my own garments before setting foot inside one of your stores again! Got it?! Good! Now buck up or fuck off!

Thanks.

There is so much awesomeness going around right now that I thought I’d share some of my faves with you! Woo!

First off, can I just say how much I fucking love LOVE! love Virgie Tovar?! She is amazing and incredible and is doing a video series, “Virgie Tovar’s Guide to Fat Girl Living” and they are flabulous!!! Here’s episode one to whet your appetite (believe me, you won’t be able to stop!):

Dr.Pattie Thomas & PDA Nation want to hear Your Story (and for more resources, links, etc http://revolutionsresources.blogspot.com/):

Please consider submitting your own story through video or text (you can comment on the videos on YouTube).

Amanda Levitt of FatWaitress & Love Your Body Detroit just opened a fabulous fat positive Etsy shop to raise funds for more fat activism: http://www.etsy.com/shop/LYBDetroit
Do check it out, buy something for yourself (like the fat rights tool kit!!! OMZ!!!)

And a bit of not so greatness, but I hope we can have an impact before it comes out…I first heard about this from Marilyn Wann and wanted to share it with you: Please go to the Amazon pages (US and UK) and post a comment responding to the godawful children’s book, “Maggie Goes on a Diet.”
I was personally shocked that the story itself is about a 14 year old going on a diet, but the targeted age for readers is 4-8 years old. Yikes!!! I hope that you will read the discussion and consider adding your own voice! <3

FattiBoomBallatti here:

So there must be a special place in hell for the plus sized bridal dress industry, or perhaps the wedding dress industry in its entire. I mean it is such a freaking racket. To back up here for a little bit and explain my strong sentiment I decided to get married this September, back in May. The reason why I did this was that I wanted to “get er done” rather than obsess and get all OCD on it should I wait for next spring. So I started off on my adventure wanting: champagne colored tea length, A-lined dress. Did I eventually find it? Not….quite.

So my H2B goes online for about an hour, orders a full linen suit online made to his order, it comes about 3 week later and looks fabulous on him… no alterations needed. Oh, and it cost him under $150. Contrast that with the epic journey into wedding dresses that I have had. First I learned that many of the couture gowns need to be ordered 6 months in advance, and THAT is only for them to make it in a STANDARD SIZE.  Why does it take 4-6 months if you are making them in standard sizes??? Oh, that’s right so you can charge holy hell for them….

From there you would then have to alter it to your specific measurements. Now… why the HELL can’t I get a wedding dress as easily as my beaux got his suit? I’ll tell you why my little darlings, snuggle in close…. Because the bridal industry exists on continuous shots of body insecurity that it feeds on like a zombie feeds on brains.

So I quickly realized that I would have to buy “off rack”. As I do not have time for a couture piece nor do I have time to have something made to order in time. So what did that mean for a girl like me? It meant David’s Bridal. And that was after another consignment wedding shop that had exactly 2 dresses in my heifer size… exactly two and most places stop making them after 14 which if you know anything about wedding dresses they are sized two down, so women bigger than a 10 or smallish 12 can go stuff themselves I guess….. I wear a street 16 and I am apple shaped and that translated into a size 20 at that store….

So I made my appointment at David’s Bridal and arrived on a Friday morning the same time 3 other women came con entourage to try on dresses. They were all about 5-8 years younger than me, thinner than me and unlike me, who came alone, had a gaggle of ladies to pass judgment/praise. Even though I walked in at the same time and had my appointment I was seen last and while the rest of them got the nice full mirrored dressing rooms in the middle of the store on the lovely dais for longish trains I was relegated to the “large and roomy” dressing room in the back and next to the bathrooms with only one mirror partially obstructed to try things on. Talk about feeling like the ugly redheaded stepchild here like they didn’t want shoppers to walk by and see me in the store.

Now of course it would seem every dress I wanted they did not have in my size and in the end I bought a dress I kinda liked in a size too big but I was not thinking straight. I was panicked about finding a dress and confused by the treatment I receieved so I found one and got out. It was a longish tea length, missing the sash which they never gave me and is not in champagne.

So it took me a while to mull over my treatment. Was it because I am in my 30s? Was it because I am fat? For so many reasons or maybe the culmination of them all I felt marginalized, unimportant, and as a first time bride I did not feel at all like the special feeling they say all Brides do when getting their gown. I did the one thing I told myself I would never do again… settle on something because it fit and not because I really liked it.

So I kept looking for dresses and found some I liked online. One was a vintage swing dress with champagne lace overlay and champagne flowers I was like, yeah that’ll do just fine! so I ordered it which came in almost at my exact measurements. Now here’s the thing… I wear a size 16, depending on how the waist is since I am a total Apple… I am most likely considered inbetweenie status…. And the dress that I got was a bit tight in the waist but it was the largest size they carried…. Was sized as a “XXXL” on the tag….. really? Wtf? An XXXL? SRSLY?!?!?

I have something to say to clothiers who go S,M,L, XL, XXL, XXXL and so on…. There is something incredibly WRONG with utilizing this standard of measurement as if to say, “If you are beyond a large… well really we don’t have any words in English to suit your fat ass…. You’re just fucking…extra”.

How the hell is a woman not to feel marginalized, unseen, invisible if   (and this is key)   there is no language in use to describe her? We are all just extras… with no appellation of our own. Too much, overdone, above, beyond the ability to script new words for.

If I had it my way I would pass a law requiring women’s clothing to go by inches just like men’s clothes do, or hey why not have fun with it? Make the sizes colors or flowers or adverbs… come on, anything but shitty, hateful, fat shaming “XXXL”.

So anyways I kept the dress and may end up wearing it for the wedding but this whole wedding dress fiasco has really been just that. A fiasco. At a time when a woman should feel beautiful, special, loved, pampered the whole bridal wedding dress industry instills the opposite so they can fill their greedy little coffers.

So, on my wedding day I will feel beautiful, special, loved and pampered… but it won’t be because of the dress.