So last Friday, you know the shopping one, my friend Jeanette and I decided to hang out. I was feeling funky, fresh, dope and fly and so I put together an outfit I’d never worn before. Not only that, the top I didn’t even pick out. Someone at Cupcakes and Muffintops insisted it is too cute for me not to get and so I bought it without even trying it on. It was that cute! But it took me months before I attempted to wear it and until this particular Friday, I hadn’t found a way to work it. The cardigan has a similar story. I’d purchased it for a steal at Target on clearance, but it’s ivory and what am I doing with an ivory cardigan? I get things dirty without even trying! It has this lovely deco-esque square latticework on the front…just fabulous, which is why I bought it of course. Never in my dreams had I thought of these two cherished but unworn pieces together…but they do, perfectly:

And I started rocking my “pomp” again. Which I am quite enjoying. I am sick of my shortie hair in the back, but I am hopeful and patient that they will get to growin’ soon here. I wasn’t sure what color glasses to wear, so I went with my usual/casual/go-to pair of dark purple. You can hardly see, but I’m wearing the earrings and necklace set my then fiance bought me 6 months before our wedding. I hadn’t worn the necklace in ages and I love it’s simple elegance. And of course my usual Avenue denim lite straight leg jeans. I am loathe to even imagine the day I need to buy new jeans. I have five pair of these and wear them constantly. They are thin and have stretch. I buy them a size bigger than I should, but I never have to unbutton them and they are the perfect length this way. They are discontinued though, so yeah, they better last forever. Ha-ha!

The Puggyman doesn’t like his picture taken. Always a suspicious eye when the camera is out:

I had never gone black Friday shopping, truly. I’d always worked on such days for my many years of retail. Jeanette and I only went to Avenue, but it was fun! No crowds, no rude clerks, it was fabulous. For a grand total of twenty-six dollars, I made out like a bandit: Two free tote bags*, one pair of leg warmers, one printed henley, one black henly, one pair of glam earrings and one pair of sock-slippers. And the tote bags are nice, too! It was not only the best black Friday experience I’d ever had, but it was the best Avenue experience, too! I will say that I am super disappointed and a bit angry that they no longer carry EE tights…not even on their website, except for the plainest of plain ones. I did order a pair of the sweater tights in an E, but they haven’t come yet, so fingers crossed that they fit. This shopping trip was a hoot and a half, too. Jeanette and I tried on shoes and played with accessories and she got so many cute things, too! Then it was decided that these were the sexiest and most glam shoes ever! But I insist that we find the exact same style, or similar, in a flat. I refuse to suffer for such beauty. We tried them on and made up stories of our would-be glamorous lives, had we these magical shoes and finally put them away with a catch in our throats…if you know of a similar shoe in a flat? DO EMAIL ME! Ha-ha! *I made two separate purchases, thus earning two free with purchase tote bags.

This TMI Tuesday post is a review of a Sex Toy! If this doesn’t interest you, you’d rather not know about my sex life or toy preference, or you’re at work and don’t wanna get in trouble, do come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled random fatty talk right here on my blog-a-ma-thing. Thanks! <3

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Every time I go to Good Vibrations in San Francisco, I try to buy something. To support them, to support my sexual well being and well, it’s an awesome place to shop. I find it hard not to look around and grab a little something before I leave. There are a bunch of reasons to go to and support Good Vibrations, but you can find those at the linky there. Today I wanted to talk about the latest toy I purchased.

Meet “C-Spot”: The C-Spot has a very special job indeed — its main function is as a clit stimulator, and wow, is it good at its job! Long and thin, the head is angled for the perfect fit on your clit. Slim enough to fit in between bodies during partnered sex, this little vibe also provides an extended reach for folks with disabilities. Not limited to external fun, this vibe also makes a great internal G-spot stimulator. Oh, and it’s waterproof too!

Yesterday Jeanette and I headed up to San Francisco to catch Virgie Tovar‘s lecture on Intersextions of Fat Positivity & Sex Positivity at Good Vibrations. Well, we were very late. You see, parking in the city is a pain in the ass and well, we spent a good twenty minutes trying to find parking and by the time we did we’d probably missed a good chunk of Virgie’s talk. Bummer. But we went in and the fabulous ladies at Good Vibrations were so kind and helpful and welcoming and even escorted us back to the lecture so we wouldn’t feel weird being so very late.

I wish I could tell you all about the lecture and what I learned or took away from it, but to be honest, and more likely because we’d missed nearly half of it, I have nothing to report. The other ladies that were in the lecture were new to Fat Liberation/Acceptance and I was a little surprised by this, but in a happy way since they were very interested and seemed to want to hear more about it. Always a good thing! And I am learning to be more comfortable telling people about this blog. So far so good.

After the lecture, Jeanette and I stuck around the back room to take in the, um, uh…sights? Ha-ha! Well, the room was covered in crocheted penises!!! It was quite distracting. As someone who in fact crochets I was quite interested on a detailed level, too…but it was funny to be surrounded by it all:

There were just so many…everywhere!!! Ha-ha! Some were frilly, some plain, some, um, firm and some soft and it was a delight to look closer and see the individual adornments of the…pieces! Ha-ha! I’m a twelve year old sometimes, sorry.

After snapping some pics and grabbing a business card of the artist, we shopped around the actual store and we both found some new fun things to try out. I may even do a sex toy review again, yay!

Then we high-tailed it out of the city and to a bakery for a bite to eat. It was just so nice to hand out and chat with Jeanette. Even if we missed the lecture, which was a bummer, I still had a great time. We chatted and carbed out and checked out a fancy goodwill store that I swear I will return to. Oh yeah, and I wore one of my new Eshakti dresses:

The one I’m wearing is here, but it looks like they took the blue color down. No worries, it’ll probably be back. Little tip, if you see something missing from one day to the next, try just typing in “dress” in the search box and everything will come up. Not to say that they still don’t discontinue things, but I think they reorganize and stuff often and some things get lost in the shuffle. I love this dress, I chose the custom option for 7 bucks as I always do, but it’s always worth it! The cardigan I got at a swap, the boots are from Avenue last year and the tights are actually teggings from Re/Dress.

I highly recommend Eshakti to anyone, anywhere. Invite a friend over, bust out the measuring tapes and take each other’s measurements. It’s fun! And having your measurements on-hand makes online clothing shopping sooooo much easier. I have another dress I haven’t worn yet and another on it’s way…so exciting! Remember, I was the gal who hadn’t worn a dress since high school. I at one point felt I didn’t deserve pretty things or shouldn’t wear dresses for a number of other reasons. Thanks to Lesley Kinzel and my fashion idol,  Nicole, not only do I wear dresses, I rock the hell out of them!

Remember, I stopped giving a damn and now do what makes me happy…don’t  you? Thanks for reading. <3

I’m an avid eBayer and have been for, well, ages. It is my go-to for things I want/need but can’t pay full retail for. I have no problem buying used items most of the time and I was looking for some new lingerie on eBay and was somewhat surprised with what I found. While I understand that some find “foundation garments” to be necessary while others will recoil at their mention, I am not talking about Spanx here, peeps…Nope, I’m talking old school.

I saw everything from panty girdles and waist cinchers to full body shapers and panties with booty inserts. The full spectrum of body shame lay within these “foundations” and while my personal experience with them is limited, my view of them is that of body hate incarnate. I just can’t see it any other way. These contraptions are damaging to the body and the mind. Most of these things were new…with tags! these are no anciet relics, unearthed from bowels of grannies basements, no these are still manufactured TODAY! And all I gotta say is: WHAT THE HELL?!

I had in my mind an image of sexy lingerie for fatties. Satin and lace and frilly little numbers, peek-a-boo whatever and ruffly booty shorts. Those were there, don’t get me wrong, but what I couldn’t shake were the “longline” “full-body” and “power shapers”…Power? UGH!! Some of these things, I wouldn’t even know how to get into, let alone out of. Hooks, snaps, straps and all manner of man made materials, all in the name of “I must not appear fat!”

And can I just say that I never want to hear or see the word “Flattering” ever again?! It’s just fucking code for not fat!! I am over that shit like WHOA! I know we’re a rare and fabulous bunch to be so self accepting and to use and love the word FAT, but it makes it that much harder when faced with the old bullshit baggage of yore.  Also, it is perfectly fine and acceptable, in my opinion, to add touches of lingerie to your wardrobe…that you would wear out of the house! It is, it’s fine and it’s fun!

I think the point of trying to look sexy is to just own it! If you feel sexy, you will be, no matter what you are wearing. No one embodies this more than my gorgeous and lovely friend Virgie Tovar! She is sexy. She makes you feel sexy just talking to her. She pushed the envelope and the boundaries that say fat cannot be sexy. Fuck that shit! We can all be sexy, if we want to be. There is the bottom line, if you want to. If you don’t, no worries. Keep on keepin’ on! But if you do? Go for it! Be it!

I adore this article Virgie wrote for The Sex Positive Photo Project! It’s almost all text, but the ads are not safe for work, or the text for that matter. But I love how she sees fats as anarchists and revolutionaries. I know it took me a long time to see how things like Burlesque could be political and not just fun or sexual. Sexuality itself is political and my view of my own sexuality has absolutely evolved since becoming involved and in love with fat liberation/acceptance. Not once does she mention having to smooth or shape or cinch in order to fit an ideal. Because that is some heavy bullshit. I can be dead sexy without a thread on my body, why the hell buy some horrific contraption to appear as something you’re not? You don’t have to and you shouldn’t. Just be you! You’re fabulous!!!

My interview outfit from last night. Ugh! You can’t really tell, but the tights are a violet purple. I’m wearing t-strap mary jane docs (with a chunky square heel). The dress is from Eshakti (I don’t see black available but it’s come back before, also, splurge and get the custom sizing for $7.50, it’s so worth it!). Clutch is Avenue from several years ago and the headband, as always, from Ross (dress for less).

I don’t know if I got the job. The whole thing was a bit strange and not in the awesome way I had hoped. I couldn’t read the interviewer well and while I think she liked me, she seemed to believe the job was  beneath me. I am sick of that! Just give me a job, people! Who cares if my talents and abilities are beyond what the job will utilize, let me suffer through it if I must! Ha-ha! But she did say I was the most elegantly dressed interview she’d had all week. My response, “Thank you! I’ll remember that!” What? I know! I say silly things that make no sense to me. When I said that to my husband he said, “Well, you will remember that.” He’s right. ha-ha! Oh well.

I’m not terribly excited about the job anymore. Turns out I had it confused with another job listing. Ugh! My brain! She fucks with me sometimes. I am quite embarrassed actually. So, the job listing I thought it was, was for a “Bad Ass” admin…the job I interviewed for yesterday? “Office manager/admin” Shit! I wrote the word “Bad Ass” all over my screening submission! I’m an ass! Oh well. It wasn’t as creative/exciting a place as I’d imagined anyway. It was kind of fun to get excited about something so unknown for a minute and I did school them on “the obesity epidemic” bullshit they’d bought into prior to my submission. To quote a White Stripes song, “Oh well oh well oh well!”

It’s Friday! I’m in a good mood despite the fucked up and weird week I’ve had and just chillin’ with my puggyman today:

Also, going to finally test out my new and bizarre espresso machine this weekend! Just gotta get a couple of supplies this afternoon and I’m set. What beans did this connoisseur of coffee ultimately buy? The Garuda Blend from Peet’s! Ha-ha! I can’t get enough of that stuff (whole bean always and forever babies!)!