NotBlueAtAll

I'm just a fat gal with a blog and an opinion. Well, lots of opinions.

Guest Post: The Beast at the Bath

February8

Famed writer, artist, philosopher and all around mysterious princess “Holy Pigeon” continues to rock my world with her direct address of what’s wrong with the cosmetics industry and so I have re-posted it below for you all to enjoy:

Returning to my first maxim and its corollary, it’s obvious that cosmetic products cannot be curative and are, in most cases, useless. The inevitable question ensues: What’s the point of any beauty routine; what’s the point of even maintaining personal hygiene? Is it all just a programmed habit that can be unlearned? Is it all a great waste of time, money, and energy?

I believe that our seemingly narcissistic habits do contain a few redeeming qualities. Through our habits we express the need for sensuality and the need for ritual. These dual needs are a valuable part of human nature and should not be suppressed or ignored.

We seem to long for an understanding of our corporeal existence, how our bodies function, what purpose, if any, they serve, how we stand in relation to the mostly physical universe that we perceive, and how we can enhance our body’s performance and sensual experience. Our reason and our more abstract notions cannot exist without our senses. The senses, as detectors and creators of perception, are all that we have at our disposal in ascertaining any kind of truth. While we may have rejected sensual experience in favor of the presumption that our intellect or our so-called “soul” can exist separately, and that our body may just be a container for these precious intangibles, we undoubtedly have always had an intuitive understanding of how crucial our corporeality is; in the end we instinctively strive to protect and preserve the body above all else. We’ve demonstrated that bodily experience is paramount through our indulgence, and sometimes overindulgence, in various sensual experiences. The body needs to feel itself, to know others like it, and to distinguish between itself and the rest of the natural world. This is what sets us apart from those other potentially sentient beings, sophisticated computers and machines, which are projected to supersede us in the evolutionary scheme. No amount of programming could replicate the nuance of perception, experience, and the elaborate weaving together of emotion that the human senses, even with all of their limitations, are capable of producing. Evolution does not mean that the form is improved; it only means that the form is adapted to the environment. If the environment is harsh, the form is crude and so are its senses as, no doubt, the age of the computer machine will demonstrate.

Surely, then, our sensuality is not the cause of our foibles. If anything, it’s our attempted detachment from sensuality and the rejection of our natural instincts that’s the root of our self-destruction. A large portion of the human race has, for some reason, desensitized itself. Perhaps we are overwhelmed by the complexity of our capacities. Like the unflinching hand on the stove, a hand whose pain receptors have been damaged, we will get burned if we deaden the safe-guards that we have in place to detect imminent danger to our species. Moreover when we are unable to detect any danger we increasingly pursue empty pleasures, experiences that fulfill temporary desires at the expense of more lasting contentment. Here too our sensuality is not to blame because the sensual experience is not, by itself, the cause of insatiable and ultimately unsatisfying desires. If that were true, then other animals that also exist in the corporeal and that have similar capacities of sensory perception would be plagued with similar human miseries.

Desire stems from a refined misinterpretation of the senses, a notion that the passing experience can be contained and therefore made permanent. Our desires are ultimately thwarted by the impossibility of permanence, leading to a profound sense of loss and pain. Desire is rooted in that higher order of thinking that we’ve separated and elevated above the senses. If we were to give in to our senses, we would immediately recognize that we are giving in to a moment, knowing that the moment passes. But in following the flow of our senses we would engage with each moment as if it were the only one, and the notion of permanence would vanish, as would the notion of time itself. The opportunity for this organic exercise has been dulled by the legacy of our cultural history in the West, the Age of Enlightenment, in which the mind and body were viewed as separate entities (recall Descartes infamous “I think therefore I am”), the mind being vastly superior. This legacy continues, at least in spirit. It’s clear, however, that the parts of the organism cannot be separated meaningfully at the same time that the organism is constructed from a network of microorganisms, seemingly autonomous in function. This symbiosis between the parts and the whole is analogous to the relationship between reason and feeling – it’s impossible to separate and compartmentalize the two. There is no such thing as pure reason, devoid of feeling, and vice versa. If human beings are by nature sensual creatures, then a denial or suppression of the senses does us more harm than an indulgence in them.

Human beings are likewise prone to ritual. Ritual is the codification of sensual experience into cultural terms. By virtue of their repetition, rituals serve to produce and maintain a collective memory within specific social groupings, and thus they become a form of self-preservation for the collective organism. If sensuality is the expression of the individual engaging with itself and its environment, in ritual this form of expression is replicated on the social scale.

Bathing is a good example, as it is, more often than not, a ritual. In these postmodern times, when many of us sit at a desk in front of a computer all day, most of us hardly engage in activities that justify daily bathing. And yet most of us do take that daily shower or bath. Perhaps this practice is in reference to a collective cultural memory whose origins have been forgotten, at least on the conscious level.

It was not that long ago that bathing was a social activity. The masses did not have the luxury of a private bath and many routinely visiting public baths. Whether people convened at naturally occurring sources of water or whether they visited opulent bathhouses, it seems that the need to transform public repose into ritual preceded the need for hygiene. Indeed some bathhouses were far from hygienic, and the need for sanitation as well as the extent to which it has been pursued has varied with the times. Nonetheless, the association between health and mankind’s submersion into water is demonstrated in enduring practices, right down to the routine prescription of sending patients to healing resorts built around the locale of natural springs and the modern day spa.

The notion of health in this context is something more than the prevention or elimination of sickness. The spiritual undertones of the practice of bathing are evident. Submersion into water as baptism is a common rite of membership – whether it be into the tradition or into the institution of a particular faith – that unifies a specific group of people. Thus the need to access an unknown, seemingly pure and divine order is fulfilled on the human scale by combining attentiveness to the bodily self with social custom and interaction. Cleanliness, the ancient proverb tells us, is next to godliness. The sentiment may have been appropriated puritanically at times, but the fact that this expression remains in the cultural memory is a testament to the ardent manner in which we strive, with all of our senses, to understand that which is beyond them, and beyond our being.

Look? Feel? Think? Beautiful?

October7

First, please go read this: http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=69&p=272#more-272

It is such an intelligently written look at what feeling  or being beautiful really means. The following is an exerpt that truly touched me:

“You do not have to be beautiful. It’s not your responsibility to be beautiful, for yourself or for anyone else, not for your family or your partner or your friends or some stranger on the street who finds your face unpleasant (and let’s be real here–the most beautiful woman you can imagine will occasionally have folks thinking she looks busted). “Beautiful” is a loaded concept, encumbered with implications far beyond the dictionary definition. It’s a vehicle on which we can put our deeper worries, our fears that we’re not good enough, our insecurities, our sadness. It’s easier to say “I feel beautiful!” than it is to say “I feel confident!” “Beautiful” is a feeling that’s okay for a woman to express; often, “confidence” is not. But that’s a conflation of two discrete concepts. When we use it in this way, “beautiful” becomes a code word we use when we can’t get at our deeper feelings, or at least when we can’t express them in a culturally-acceptable way. Feeling beautiful is often about nothing so much as feeling accepted, loved, appreciated, respected, and feeling those things about oneself from the inside, as well as feeling them as they are expressed by other people.

When my husband asks if I feel beautiful, I have to say no; because I never feel beautiful; because I am not a beautiful girl. I am rather a woman who knows where she stands, who feels comfortable and confident in her own skin, and yet who struggles daily with living in a world that tells her repeatedly that she shouldn’t feel this way, that she has no right to feel this way.

Our beauty, or our feelings of beauty, are often feelings we guard as ferociously as we would a priceless treasure. Probably because for many of us this feeling comes all too rarely. But if I might interrogate our assumptions for a moment: what do we really mean when we talk about feeling beautiful? We mean that we feel good about ourselves, don’t we. We mean that we feel happy and confident and alive, and the fact that this combination of feelings is so rare and so magical and so intoxicating that we have to call it “beauty” just breaks my heart.

That feeling is beautiful. But you don’t have to be beautiful, to feel it.”

I cannot agree more. I remember seeing the classic Woody Allen film “Annie Hall” a few years ago for the first time and thinking it was such a pleasure to see a woman dress outside of the norm yet still seem comfortable and confident in her own skin. I have often struggled with the concept of beauty. I am constantly in a tug of war with what women are supposed to look like and what I look like. Or how I dress or wear makeup. And then I realized a couple of years ago that you just can’t pigeon hole yourself that way! It’s awful. You are a human being! You’re a multi-facetted individual! While my many likes and dislikes often influence my appearance, they do not define me/you as a person. I choose to wear earrings and orange sneakers, but those don’t necessarily make me any more of less beautiful. It’s an abstract!

Gender roles be damned, I like to wear makeup sometimes, but then I go through huge dry spells where I just cannot be bothered with it!  I like to bake, but I also love to talk cars! And you know what? All of this is a part of me, but isn’t me in my entirety! I think if more people (not just women) embraced this way of thinking, that we are all different because of what we do and how we proceed through, then we would all have less stress in our lives!

What do you think?

This! Yes! This!

September24

Don’t you love it when you’ve tried and failed to explain something before or maybe you just can’t spit the words out about something and it’s frustrating and then one day you hear/read someone else saying exactly what you’ve felt all along?

THIS: http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=69&p=265

OMZ! Not only is Lesley Kinzel my total heroine, but she’s fatshionably fab, too! I mean, the girl can rock a dress! This was a revelation for me since we’re very close in size and I hadn’t worn a dress since my high school grunge days (sigh). If not for Fatshionista (the website and the LiveJournal community) I would not be as sane and happy and as brave as I am today. For realz, y’all! The fat acceptance movement has given me support, confidence and rekindled my all-out love for fashion. Only now, I can’t say “fashion” I can only say “fatshion”…and that is awesome!

Because so many of us are afraid of the word fat or think it nothing but an insult. Who among us hasn’t heard another say, “Oh my god! I am so fat!” or some other such horribly negative use of the word. But you know what? Oh my gawd…I AM FAT! And I love who I am! So…wev! Embrace it! Fat isn’t a disease or a syndrome or a stigma (to me) anymore. It’s a state of being. It is simply a descriptive word. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hate to think of our self-obsessed culture killing themselves to be “thin” (whatever that means). Because, as Lesley says, “Every body is different!” And your own relationship with your own body is your business and no one elses. Just because I am fat my lifestyle is not hindered one bit. I have flown to and from Europe, I have danced in a club, I have flown in a helecopter over Maui, I have found my partner for life and near and dear friends and I have even opened my very own business! My fat never got in the way! I am happier now than I was as a size 14 (I’m not closer to a 28/30)!

I guess what I am trying to say is, please stop hating your body. You deserve better! You’d never let a friend turn to you and say, “Ew! Look at your thighs! They’re disgusting!” so why would you do it to yourself? It’s not easy, but you can stop it.

And my favorite quote of the week/month is from Beth Ditto (of Gossip fame), “Punk will never Diet!” Oh my gawd, that is my new motto! I want a bumper sticker and a t-shirt, please?! Ha-ha!

Thanks for reading. And don’t worry, I’ll be posting my TFIF tomorrow! Tah!

Boys Who Make us Squeel, “Oh Daddy!”

July27

 To honor my new linky over at my fave blog: www.planetfabulon.com I thought I’d do a top 5 I haven’t before!

Don’t like what you see (really?!!) or think I left someone out (oh, there’ll be more, this was fun!)? Comment!

1.)Ewan McGregor: He is always my #1! Weather in a suit, a tux, a kilt, a hat or completely naked (yes, please!). He’s not just eye candy though (seriously?!)…an established and excellent actor and a fine scottish gentleman to boot! Who doesn’t love him? I fell madly in love with him upon my first viewing of “Shallow Grave” if you haven’t seen it then you simply must go (run, don’t walk!) to the usual rental or purchase establishment and watch it darling! You’re only depriving yourself of it! The instant I saw his smile? I was a puddle! And then I obsessed over “Trainspotting” for several years (still my #1 movie, evah!). I still think it was his finest…though “Moulin Rouge” would be second I suppose. That voice of his? Oh gawd! It melts my heart! To this day when I think of “Your Song” by Elton John, I hear that first note in Ewan’s voice! *sigh*

ewan_1333

2.) Johnny Depp: Is there an actor who chooses more diverse roles that Johnny? I don’t think so. From undercover cop to pirate, from opium fiend to nervous doc…Okay, I have loved Johnny Depp since his “21 Jump Street” days, and that ain’t no lie! You can ask my real daddy! I had the “teenbeat” posters on my walls! I watched it religiously (although, the memories, they fade). And “Nightmare on Elm Street”? Yeah! I loved it and ended up watching all the “Freddy” movies, too! While my love for JD never fades, I do remember seeing the previes for “Benny and Joon” and freaking the hell out because oh my gawd, he looked incredible (and edible!). He took my breath away! And of course in “Gilbert Grape” (although, didn’t love the hair color). Yes, I even saw “Don Juan” in the theatres! (I can’t have been alone! Was that you in the fourth row?) Oh!  Can we talk “Edward Scissorhands!” He said little with his voice but his eyes deserved a damned Oscar for that one! He’s just hawt and a stellar actor and…hey! He and Ewan should start a band! They can call themselves “The Jeans Creamers!” (Ew, maybe not. What would YOU call them?) From skanky to proper, Johnny keeps hittin’ us with his best performances and he WILL get that Oscar one day soon. (And you know I can’t wait for the new “Alice in Wonderland”!!!)

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3.) Jake Gyllenhaal: *drool* Huh? Wha? Oh yeah…Um…Well, there’s no hotter hottie than Jake Gyllenhaal! We all loved him in “Brokeback Mountain” and if you haven’t seen “Donie Darko” you probably should! I don’t know what else to say about him, because I’d much rather look at him (since touching is out of the question, right?)!

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4.) Keanu Reeves: He’s no “Bill and Ted” anymore! Though not one for the big tabloid scandals, this low profile hottie deserves a mention! Again, another fabulous and genuine smile! Those are hard to come by now days. He was brooding and gorgeous in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” and rivetting as “Neo” in the “Matrix” movies. *squee!* He plays bass! Perfect for my mega-hawt celebrity band! Now we just need a drummer!

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5.) Viggo Mortensen: He’ll always be “Aragon” to me! Oh, did I ever fall for him in “The Lord of The Rings”?! Hey! What else are you supposed to do when you always root for the underdog and he’s the hero of the underdogs in a three hour film?! C’mon! But also…did you see that nude fight scene in “Eastern Promises”? Holy shit! That took some balls (and he has ’em!) and serious skill…oh baby!  

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Okay…sorry, I gotta go, um…do…dishes?! Yeah, that’s it! Dishes! Don’t call me for an hour or so…’kay? *giggles*

P.S. if you go to yahoo images and type: hottest male actors, you get this as the first item:

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thought I’d warn ya. What’s a friend for? Ha-ha! 

Gossip: A Band to Rattle Your Conventions!

June26

Gossip: In my humble (and free) opinion, the best band to come out of the last decade! Yes, I know that’s a bold statement and I am not one to take such things lightly! But this band’s sound rocks my world and kicks my ass into the next decade! Yep! It’s true.

Image based on beth ditto by IanMackinnon licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike

While relatively unknown in the U.S., the band Gossip have made  a huge splash across the pond,( in the U.K.). And for good reason, they are so different from most modern bands out there. Beth Ditto, singer/icon/rockstar/death fattie/lesbian is all things not normally seen in mainstream music and media. She carries a confidence that belongs in the rock world, true…but her style and shape and performance antics? She’s breaking down barriers many didn’t know existed and while some of us did, we’re either in love with her for it or hate her because of it!

 I’ve been a fan for awhile. Actually, I discovered them through BUST magazine’s review of their album “Standing In The Way Of Control.” I bought the CD and was completely unprepared or the ride! Listening to it is one thing, but then I looked up their videos online and WOAH! She’s a fat girl, too?! Holy shit! She’s also fahsionable and gorgeous and queer and talented beyond comprehension!

Their latest album, “Music for Men” came out this week and once again my mind was blown away! There is little left of my grey matter now as all I can do is sing songs from the album when left to my own devices. In the car, at home, on my iPod and in my bedroom…I’m loving every second of this album! The anticipation alone was enough to kill me, but now that I’ ve heard it a few dozen times? I’m lucky to be alive! It kicked my ass clear into next week! While it was no surprise to me how good it is, I had faith in the band all along…but I also knew it was produced by the infamous Rick Rubin! Yeah, a bunch of ridiculously and musically talented people making a record? Yes, please!!!

Lyrically genius and completely relatable and the production quality is sublime! I can’t say enough good things about this album and this band! Just strap yourself in and enjoy the ride! “And I will thank you for your cooperation…”

Music For Men – Gossip

Video for the first single, “Heavy Cross”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU3VbMGIZeE (or scroll down to my previous post for the embedded video)

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