All of the following photos are from the Talent Show and Fashion Show at NoLose 2013 (All photos by the lovely, gorgeous and talented Lilia Schwartz who through her photos I finally saw what others do. <3 )

I kind of love the pic of my back in the blue dress…it has it’s own sass! I had no idea! I love that! Yay back!

Unfortunately I was unable to get video of my first solo dance, but these photos make my performance look way better than what I felt happened. Ha-ha! I have learned some things from my two forays back into dance/performing: 1.) A solid/bold outfit always wins 2.) smiles and sass will cover your ass (when you forget all of your choreography) 3.) no one knows the choreography but you anyway, so improvise when you have to or just want to. 😉

The black and white dress was a JCP clearance gem, the flower a cheepy mall grab and the fedora was $3 at Daiso! Not to mention my ever present teggings! The blue dress was from Size Queen clothing which I wore with my Fat necklace that I got custom made for hella cheap on Etsy!

Also, I’d just like to point something out here, proudly…SO MUCH ARMS! Look at my gloriously free, unashamed display of fat flailing goodness!!!

Thank you to those who love and support me, past and present. When I tear myself down, my friends always seem to know how to put me back together again. <3

Nervously excited before the fashion show, I wanted this dress so bad!
Alas, I am but a poor, fierce fat femme.

And my boyfriend made my night with this text,
“So…you’re saying I’m dating a model?! 🙂 ”
*Blushes*

Saturday in the vendor’s room, Alex and I matched in our enthusiasm and
desire to become the unicorns we’ve always known we are!
I’m wearing an Eshakti.com dress.

Can you see the terror on my face? No? Well, believe me, it was bubbling just under the surface. I hear my performance was great, but honestly I felt like a failure. Oh well. Never had so many awesome people tell me I’m hot in one night!
Dress was from JCP and hat was $3 a Daiso, flower clip $2.50 from random accessories shop at the mall.

The dance party was canceled due to technical difficulties. I met up with Veronica, a fellow fat blogger from Norway, and headed to the bar for some cocktails and wonderful conversation. (My dress is from HipsandCurves.com)
<3

Sunday night “Q” and I hit up my favorite: Gustav’s!
For healing, hearty German food…And a blackberry margarita!

I seriously have to come to Gustav’s every time I visit Portland.
It’s just, necessary!
Another Eshakti.com dress…my soulmate outfit!

We met “Eugene” the cat outside the Denny’s by U of O in Eugen, Oregon.
This was literally the coolest, sweetest, most lovey cat we’d ever met!
When the server said we could and should take him home, “Q” was beyond tempted!
So we tried to, but in the end he’s actually a fairly healthy wild cat who seems pretty damn happy.
We miss you, Eugene! <3

That wonderful moment you realize you’re back in California which means we’re sort of, kind of, almost home. 🙂

In the end I did get to hang out with some fabulous fatties as well as make some new connections and bonds.
Thanks for reading and supporting me with/through this difficult experience.
I’m doing so much better now, thanks to all of you!

Rad Fatty Love to you ALL!
<3

This week’s submission is by me, Sarah, this is my blog. Welcome!

Saturday was such a fantastic day! I felt like I’d won a gold medal or something, man. I was on top of the world! I had a fantastic job interview (though they later rejected my fat ass), got lots of stuff done, and got to walk my puggyman. I felt productive and good and excited about life! And the boyfriend and I were meeting some awesome friends for karaoke that night. Hooray!!!

I felt so fabulous that I did what any fierce fat femme would do: Get Dolled Up! Woo! And so I did! In a new dress, no less (from JCP?!) and even did a little something different with my hair and make up. Actually, this whole look is new for me! Don’t ya just love when everything sort of comes together like that? I do! I felt so good I half expected the paparazzi to start harassing me! Ha-ha!

So, here I am (if you click on the pics they get bigger), exercising my right to bare arms and be fabulous! Oh and that last pic is the bouquet bf sent me, since some peeps had asked.  And now it’s all opening up and blooming! Might have to take it with me to PDX! 😉

I always ask TTT submissions to include their own fatty philosophy. I guess mine changes as time goes by. I would typically say something along the likes of be you, stay true to you, listen to your gorgeous gut and give zero fucks about the rest. Right now I’m feeling a bit more like, do what feels right, stop worrying and just keep going. How’s that?! 😉

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I am always looking for submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it! And thank you to all who have submitted and continue to do so. These posts make my week! They are so fun and empowering, too! So keep ‘em comin’ and keep baring those arms!

Today’s post is a review of a personal massager/sex toy. If you know me or would rather not know about my preferences or thoughts on this topic, please come back tomorrow for more of my usual fat talk and thoughts. Thanks! 😉

The following review has in no way shape or form been sponsored by anyone, nor have I been compensated in anyway. This is my own honest review of a personal purchase. 

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Oh dear readers! You always know what I need. Often it’s love and support, advice or solidarity, but when it came down to sexy stuff? You did real GOOD!!! I’d heard from many of you publicly and privately (you can always hit me up at notblueatall@notblueatall.com) that the Hitachi Magic Wand is nothing short of amazeballs. But you also frightened me with tales of it’s strength and intensity “so powerful it can give you an orgasm through a snowsuit….from across the street!” Yikes! But I’m here to share my thoughts on this hot topic! Ha-ha!

So, okay, y’all know I’m broke as fuck, but I did this user study thing at eBay and got a $50 visa gift card. I thought it was the perfect time to give the Hitachi Magic Wand a shot! And so…I did! I ordered it from Amazon and found one with two attachments for a great price. When it arrived I was a bit nervous about trying it. At first I just plugged it in and held it in my hand and then thought, “Hell no!” It was big and powerful and noisy! I put it away and didn’t touch it for a week.

Then I ran out of batteries for my go-to toy and thought, “Fuck it! Let’s do this thang!” and gave the Hitachi a go. WOW! It was too powerful for me that first time. It made me cum so fast I barely noticed. Which, let’s face it, kind of sucked. I just didn’t know what to make of it. Again, I left it alone for awhile. A few days later I thought to myself, “This is supposed to be the end all be all and I need to figure this shit out!” So I put on my favorite porn (“Libidinous Games” if you’re curious…it’s pretty tame and hilariously dubbed, but feel free to share your faves too) and took my time.

Holy Shitballs, Batman! I came so hard I thought I’d have a heart attack or pass out or something! This thing has two settings: “Low” (we’ll call it the clit pounder) and “High” (aka: are you insane?!?!). I can only handle the “Low” setting thus far. I’ve toyed with the “High” but only for like a second because I’d actually like to have a pussy left intact when I’m done masturbating! Ha-ha!

I have used the attachments and I have to say that they aren’t really that great. They make the whole thing noisier (no thank you) and are a pain to remove. I personally enjoyed the curved g-spot one a lot, but the straight one was of no interest to me (tried it, meh). What works best for me is using the curved attachment thingy to, um, penetrate myself vigorously (Ha-ha) and then remove it and focus on clit stimulation. Again, removal is no fun. I suppose you could leave it on but it will muffle the vibrations while simultaneously making the thing super loud. I don’t get it. I know there are other attachments, but until I have a disposable income (what is that again? Ha-ha!) I won’t have a chance to try ’em (let me know what you think of ones you’ve tried in comments, please).

The bottom line for me is that this thing is awesome! It plugs in so no more batteries!!! This has to be the best part. No waning battery life, no expense or trips to the store. It keeps on truckin’! I have sort of gotten used to the intensity and do try to take my time with it so as not to hurt myself or whatever. AH! The long handle is fantastic, too! That’s a great thing for a short armed, big bellied fatty like me! Long cord, long handle, never ending vibes: happy ‘bating! Ha-ha!

I was always too scared to spend the money on this sexy legend, but I can honestly say that I wouldn’t hesitate now. And I know many people who use it as a genuine massager for those hard to get knots. Especially in your neck/back/shoulders. All in all this is a great toy and a great buy. Do you have one of these babies? Tell me what you think, what works for you, tips, tricks, etc! 🙂

This weekend was incredible! Friday my beloved Raven came by for a visit. I had some horrible family shit go down tat would have sent me over the edge had it not been for her. I was shaking with anger; I so rarely get angry at all so this was especially scary. “To Daiso!” she insisted and off we went for fun, cheap, cute stuff shopping! I scored a cute fedora for $3! Followed by Beard Papas (custard filled cream puffs!) and some serious chatting.

Later that night my “Special Geek” took me out to dinner at one of my favorite places and it was also our three month anniversary (if you’re into that kind of thing, ha-ha!). Saturday my gal Laura came down for a visit and we painted the town red! We were getting dolled up for our night of fun and soon my roommate joined in and we were all trying on each others dresses and shoes and hair stuffs. It was a full on femme fest up in here! Ha-ha!

Before we dashed off we had to get some pics of our hot outfits (both thanks to my gorgeous roommate) and we realized we had no pics of the two of us together. What a crime?! Laura was a great photographer and told me what to do in my pics. Love that! We felt so hot and sexy and fabulous and you know, when you’re in the right company, you just feel fearless, too! 😉

Laura wanted to hit up a local BBW club, and while I so didn’t, I was doing my best to be a gracious hostess and relented. We only stayed for an hour because the DJ is the worst (in the bay area?) and I just cannot stand for a song being played twice within an hour. The folks there were beyond friendly that night and we even caught up with some old acquaintances, but in the end we just had to move onto better things.

We hit up this Irish bar that I love and tore up the dance floor! The DJ there was fantastic! We didn’t stop dancing except to pee and get more Magner’s (Irish hard apple cider). I was on cloud nine! We laughed and danced, she flirted fearlessly and I stood back in awe of her confidence an beauty. Well, take a look for yourself…

I’m so blessed and lucky and grateful to have such wonderful people in my life.