September13
My lifestyle has absolutely changed as a result of the economy. Well, that and three lay-offs and cutting off my own unemployment benefits to open my own cafe. But I digress! Ha! I spent 24 months in and out of work. During that time, about 18 months of which, I looked for work and that was my full-time job! Between scraping the barrel of online job sites and going to actual interviews, I grew exhausted and weary. One thing kept my spirits up through that time: Fat Acceptance blogs! I love FA like I love my own fat ass! It’s there for me when I need it! It is my best friend and no longer an enemy!
Specifically, the Fatshionista community on LiveJournal.com has truly given me the confidence and strength to do all of the things I never thought I could. Sounds silly, right? I mean, a fashion community? Um, Yeah! You see, I was never confident in my style. I didn’t think I even had a style of my own until I started to read and then later post my own OOTDs (Outfit of the day). And the feedback? Tremendous! I mean, the people who commented were so loving and kind and encouraging. They said I was beautiful! No one but my own husband had ever said that to me, let alone a bunch of strangers. I cannot express in words what that felt like, but it was a revelation. (I’m not putting a bunch of emphasis on the beauty thing, just explaining that as part of my own very personal FA journey.)
Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. I had this community of people who knew what it was like to be fat. It was okay to call myself fat! FAT! OMZ! FAT! Hooray! And I felt compelled to continue posting my own OOTDs as a result of all of that love. I had an income after all and I did enjoy me some shopping at that time. I had just discovered Old Navy (though too late for the in-store period) and was loving their basics and some of their trendier pieces at what seemed like crazy-cheap pricing. I admit, I went a bit overboard. And with ON, well it’s easy to do and their sizing is so wonky that I’d always order way more than necessary because I’d have to return half of it anyhow.
I would usually just pair my new stuff with old stuff and throw in some random accessories or an Etsy.com find and post it as an OOTD. It became a regular hobby. I would shop and then share what I found on fatshionista. Part of this for me was also sharing with other fats what certain clothing would look like on a Death Fattie body, since none of the usual places even use fat models. I felt like I was giving perspective & a personal review. And everyone was so kind and sweet! I cannot even begin to tell you what that felt like for me. I grew up a Tom-boy and so it was all very new and alien.
After opening my cafe I suddenly found myself without an income at all. The only thing I took home (and still do) were my tips. At first? That was like $3 a week! Yeah. I know! I am so grateful and lucky and gobsmacked that I have a husband who can support us on his salary (though that’s been and still is quite a struggle). So I stopped shopping. I stopped posting OOTDs on fatshionista. I no longer had the free time anyway and I did still enjoy seeing others OOTDs. I did sell things on fatshionista for awhile, to try to get some cash for some little something I had my eye on. eBay has been a great resource for that, too (both buying & selling). But I did find myself sort of distanced from fatshionista either because of my lack of new things to show or due to my own insecurity because of my sudden lack of income, I’m not quite sure.
A couple of months ago, I was feeling especially sassy, I decided to throw together a fatshionable outfit with just my usual wardrobe and post an OOTD of what I wore to work. Well, I was nervous because I usually just wear a top & jeans. Comfort is all that matters to me now and if it’s cute, then yay, if not? Oh fucking well. I was pleasantly surprised by the response. I still somehow had style even with my old stuff! WOW! I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that I could put together old things in new ways and show it off in a positive way. I wasn’t terribly confidant about it, but I began to realize what I could do with a bit of creativity.
Here they are! My first two OOTDs after so long without a single post on fatshionista:
And you know what I learned from all of this? You don’t have to have money to make something work. You can be a “Dime Store Diamond” and hold your head up high! You can thrift your way to fabulous or dig through your closet to gorgeosity! And while I still struggle with the money thing, I don’t sweat not having a new and in-season outfit every single day. I live in California where that’s not a big deal anyway. My motto has become (since starting my own biz), “I do what I can with what I have.” My hubby thinks that sounds sad, but I see it as a major positive! We’ve come so far together and worked so hard for every damned thing we have. And to me? That means more than any paycheck can provide! So what if I’m not on-trend?! I think being a fatshionista is a state of mind and I can be that in my pajamas!
What is your fave or creative way to work something new out of your existing wardrobe? Would you like to be my “Tank Top Tuesday” pic? I still need some pics. Otherwise it’s gonna just be me every damned week! Ha-ha! =0)
Thanks for reading as always. You rock my socks! <3
