This is the tenth and last in a series of things that have helped me, I believe in, or people have asked me to share. Basically, things I do or think or whatever that have helped me be a better person, activist and positive fat lady. Check out  Step 1,  Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7,Step 8 and Step 9.

Step 10: Share!

This is perhaps  the best and most fun step of this series: sharing! Woo hoo! I mean, sharing is fun, dude. I love to bake simply because I then get to share my goodies with my friends and family. Sharing can be hard, too. I mean, I still have a difficult time sharing certain things about myself with strangers or acquaintances. Y’all know I am far from afraid of TMI topics, but I mean simple things like my fat blog and activism…I hide behind the words I use and this makes me sad. I should be proud of what I do and I am, usually…but it’s hard sometimes! But let’s break this down, shall we?

Share yourself with others. You can take this in any direction you like. Share your whole self! Don’t hold back! You’re already being brutally honest with yourself and others and you stopped giving a damn what other people think…so go for it! I firmly believe that one of the greatest parts of existing, and how we can grow as  a society, is simply to share what we know and love with others. Human connection! Why else exist? To keep all of your wisdom and experiences to yourself? No thanks. It feels good to share, too!

Share what you know and what you’ve experienced! Ever feel like you’re the only one to have X happen to you? Or are the only one to have X problem? You don’t know if you don’t share! I didn’t know that I had hidradenitis suppurativa until I saw other gals sharing their experiences and talking about what it’s like to live with HS. Had they not shared this, I would have continued to feel like a freak! And sharing my story of abuse survival with you all here has allowed me to gain a new perspective on what I’ve been through and have been touched by so many other abuse survivors who have reached out to me as well. No, I think sharing is the best part of being human…well, sex is good, too! Ha-ha! That’s sharing, too, though!

When you keep things to yourself, positive or negative, it weighs you down. You feel burdened or guilty or shameful. That’s  bullshit because you’re awesome and even if you have a terrible problem, we can’t always figure these things out on our own, ya know? SHARE! Share with a friend or relative or me! But do share. I know that I often need a sounding board to work through things, even minor things. I love it when I have the right person to talk things out with, it can even sound like I’m talking to myself, but I need that other person’s reactions and thoughts and opinions and experiences to push me to my own creative solution or idea. I can’t be alone in that…can I?! (See?! Sharing!!!)

You may be thinking, “Well, no one ever shared with me. I work too hard for what I have. Why the fuck should I share?!” That is precisely why you should share! Share BECAUSE no one shared with you. Share because you can! Share because it feels good and it looks good on ya! Start off small if it scares you. Talk to strangers at bus stops and check out lines. Share your thoughts on baby hedgehogs and rooster art! Just share and share alike and watch as others feel the positive impact of your sharing and pay it forward in their own special way. It’s magnificent!

Share your creative endeavors! Share your skills! Share your talents and abilities! Don’t let fear or worry hold you back…you’re too awesome for that! Share a hug and share the love and share your cupcakes and carrots and puppy-love and kitty snuggles! Share it! Share a smile, a wink, a nod, a factoid, a bit of good news or share your story with a trusted friend or the world. Sharing will lift a burden from you and help you see things in a new way. Perspective you cannot buy, sharing is free and it can get you just that.

In a time where sharing is considered socialism, and somehow that’s a dirty word, why not be a radical bastard and share the fuck out of everything you see fit?! Share your time with a neighbor or old folks home. Share your dinner leftovers, too! Share your rarely-worn clothing with a fellow fatty and spread the rad fatty love all over the damn place! Sharing is like the best drug, you try it once and you’re hooked and next thing you know you wanna share it with all of your friends so they can get high on sharing, too! Just please be mindful and try not to share too many germs…wash your hands people. Ha-ha!

Share what you have learned from Fat Liberation/Acceptance/Pride! Share your thoughts and feelings about it! Share your feelings on diet talk when the subject comes up. Most people only know the societal norm and would never come across our radical ideas and movement. Share this amazing self-love lifestyle! Let people know that they don’t have to go through life hating themselves, they are worth more than that and so are you! Let them know that it IS a choice once you realize it.

Share the steps of this series. Share what makes you happy! Share what works for you to keep you sane or healthy or feeling more like  your authentic self. Share not because it’s “that time of year” *groan* but because you just want to! Share what has given you strength when you didn’t think you had it. Share what you’ve been through and stop keeping secrets that are a source of pain or shame. Be brave! Because I know you can do it and I know how it can impact other people. It can only lead to good, folks. It’s so very worth it and so are you!

“Ideas should be worth spreading. There is no delight in owning anything unshared.” ~Seneca

Have you tried any of the steps? I would love to hear from you! In fact, I would love some guest posts with your thoughts/experiences/pics/etc from the series. Please hit me up! notblueatall at notblueatall dot com

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So last Friday, you know the shopping one, my friend Jeanette and I decided to hang out. I was feeling funky, fresh, dope and fly and so I put together an outfit I’d never worn before. Not only that, the top I didn’t even pick out. Someone at Cupcakes and Muffintops insisted it is too cute for me not to get and so I bought it without even trying it on. It was that cute! But it took me months before I attempted to wear it and until this particular Friday, I hadn’t found a way to work it. The cardigan has a similar story. I’d purchased it for a steal at Target on clearance, but it’s ivory and what am I doing with an ivory cardigan? I get things dirty without even trying! It has this lovely deco-esque square latticework on the front…just fabulous, which is why I bought it of course. Never in my dreams had I thought of these two cherished but unworn pieces together…but they do, perfectly:

And I started rocking my “pomp” again. Which I am quite enjoying. I am sick of my shortie hair in the back, but I am hopeful and patient that they will get to growin’ soon here. I wasn’t sure what color glasses to wear, so I went with my usual/casual/go-to pair of dark purple. You can hardly see, but I’m wearing the earrings and necklace set my then fiance bought me 6 months before our wedding. I hadn’t worn the necklace in ages and I love it’s simple elegance. And of course my usual Avenue denim lite straight leg jeans. I am loathe to even imagine the day I need to buy new jeans. I have five pair of these and wear them constantly. They are thin and have stretch. I buy them a size bigger than I should, but I never have to unbutton them and they are the perfect length this way. They are discontinued though, so yeah, they better last forever. Ha-ha!

The Puggyman doesn’t like his picture taken. Always a suspicious eye when the camera is out:

I had never gone black Friday shopping, truly. I’d always worked on such days for my many years of retail. Jeanette and I only went to Avenue, but it was fun! No crowds, no rude clerks, it was fabulous. For a grand total of twenty-six dollars, I made out like a bandit: Two free tote bags*, one pair of leg warmers, one printed henley, one black henly, one pair of glam earrings and one pair of sock-slippers. And the tote bags are nice, too! It was not only the best black Friday experience I’d ever had, but it was the best Avenue experience, too! I will say that I am super disappointed and a bit angry that they no longer carry EE tights…not even on their website, except for the plainest of plain ones. I did order a pair of the sweater tights in an E, but they haven’t come yet, so fingers crossed that they fit. This shopping trip was a hoot and a half, too. Jeanette and I tried on shoes and played with accessories and she got so many cute things, too! Then it was decided that these were the sexiest and most glam shoes ever! But I insist that we find the exact same style, or similar, in a flat. I refuse to suffer for such beauty. We tried them on and made up stories of our would-be glamorous lives, had we these magical shoes and finally put them away with a catch in our throats…if you know of a similar shoe in a flat? DO EMAIL ME! Ha-ha! *I made two separate purchases, thus earning two free with purchase tote bags.

This TMI Tuesday post is a review of a Sex Toy! If this doesn’t interest you, you’d rather not know about my sex life or toy preference, or you’re at work and don’t wanna get in trouble, do come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled random fatty talk right here on my blog-a-ma-thing. Thanks! <3

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Every time I go to Good Vibrations in San Francisco, I try to buy something. To support them, to support my sexual well being and well, it’s an awesome place to shop. I find it hard not to look around and grab a little something before I leave. There are a bunch of reasons to go to and support Good Vibrations, but you can find those at the linky there. Today I wanted to talk about the latest toy I purchased.

Meet “C-Spot”: The C-Spot has a very special job indeed — its main function is as a clit stimulator, and wow, is it good at its job! Long and thin, the head is angled for the perfect fit on your clit. Slim enough to fit in between bodies during partnered sex, this little vibe also provides an extended reach for folks with disabilities. Not limited to external fun, this vibe also makes a great internal G-spot stimulator. Oh, and it’s waterproof too!