While gearing up for the Fat Flesh mob last Friday, I had wanted tp wear something special, to make a statement and feel good in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that my “Fat” necklace would be included. When I mentioned this to some friends, three different gals said that they would also be donning their “Fat” necklaces. When I arrived, Marilyn Wann had one on as well. And once there and chatting with all of the wonderful people I met that day, so many asked where I got my “Fat” necklace. I had no idea such a simple thing would be so sought after.

The “Fat” necklace is a statement piece. It is something truly special and to be worn with great pride. Providing, of course, you have the sanity points to deal with the unique reactions you may get while wearing it in public. I’ve gotten everything from people avoiding eye contact with me to laughter with a side of “That’s awesome!” with it. But I especially loved wearing it to the Flesh Mob on INDD. I held my head high and wore my “Fat” necklace as a sign of my comittment and gratitude to be part of the fat acceptance movement, to fight for the equal treatment of all bodies. However, one good friend wore hers to a party where people incessantly discussed and offered her dieting bullshit. Ugh! Some will just never get it, I guess.

Of course it all began (for me anyway) when Natalie (of definatalie.com fame) designed and offered her (and in my eyes the original) “Fat” necklace. I still think it is the prettiest design, but alas, I am far too broke for such a purchase. Nicole bought one from Natalie and I know everyone was asking about it! And you know you’ve not only designed something asthetically lovely but also radically of-the-moment when someone gets your design tattooed on their flesh! I have no links or pics, but I’ve seen at least two gals with her design on them.

So, then I posted a pic/GIF the other day with my “Fat” necklace and a few commenters were interested in where I got mine and/or how they could get one for themselves at a lower price. I want to tread lightly on the subject because I am a firm believer in supporting independant artists and protecting their work. I ask that you do consider buying your necklace from Natalie, but if you absolutely cannot swing it, then I shall offer the few options I could find on Etsy (by independant designers, handmade, many local to the U.S.). Unfortunately the gal who made my necklace has closed-up shop. But the lettering is like that from the movie “Fame” from the 80’s (bitchin’ movie).

Here is what I could find on Etsy, but I have not personally purchased from them before:
Sugar & Vice  offers a few different options both in font as well as a banner style I loved.
Wacodis has one listing with seemingly limitless options (and amazing price, but only in clear letters).
Everlasting Doodle offers customization of most of their designs. So many!
I also found out that Tap Plastics offers pretty much the same thing minus the chain and such. I have not used them before but have heard nothing but great things about them in general. Nothing specific in regards to this option for a necklace, but due to their reputation I have no doubt that they will work with you!

Thank you to Natalie who brought the concept of the “Fat” necklace into our world and being an amazing artist, blogger, activist and person. You inspire us all! <3

 If you do get or have a “Fat” necklace, do send a pic of you wearing it my way (include links, too!) so I might compile a lovely post in the future to show our “Fat” necklace glory to the world!
Email it here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com

Thanks,
<3
S

Happy International No Diet Day to you and you and you!

I wanted to share some of my thoughts today and some fabulous resources, too!

Today I am celebrating by being kind to my body, to myself and to others. I put on eye make up (wow! I know!) and a top I rarely wear and have already gotten some compliments (not my motivation, but still nice). I will feed my body what it desires and give no thought or value or question why or what that is or means. I am pretty much spamming my facebook with INDD stuff today, so if you’re an FB friend o’ mine, tough it out! Ha-ha! =0)

Check out Fat Girls Float‘s post today for the origin & goals of INDD

For info on the INDD Fat Flesh Mob in S.F. Go to Big Fat Blog

Read about how the Fat Waitress Loves her Body!

The ever fabulous Golda Poretsky is offering her book Stop Dieting Now for FREE today only!!!

Sharon Haywood have a fabulous post up at Adios Barbie and be sure to watch her video.

Some are using the Twitter tag #INDD, so check out those posts if you’re over there. But if you’re low on teaspoons or sanity points, you may not want to actually look up International No Diet Day on Twitter. Just sayin’! Lots of folks are saying some silly stuff. Be aware that many links in these tweets link to diet ads, weight loss centers and worse.

For more info or ideas on INDD check out this page (link provided by Penguin Books AUS on twitter).

I am also noticing some people “celebrating” either for the wrong reasons or in the worst ways.
INDD was not created as an excuse for us to all gorge ourselves on “bad” foods or what have you.

Thanks for reading.
<3
S

I would like to introduce you fine people to my friend Rachel! She just started her blog: http://theredheadedschemer.blogspot.com/ and I love it already! I “met” Rachel last September when she and her friend Adrienne interviewed me for a blogtalkradio.com show. It was so fun and we’ve stayed in touch since.

I love encouraging new bloggers and giving shout outs to those I feel deserve them. Rachel falls right into this category! Plus, she’s a bad ass! She is so creative and funny and well, a great friend! Her blog will cover all sorts of things, surely, but her inaugural post covers one of my fave things to discuss: Pleasure!

So check it out, say Hello! Tell her who sent ya over there and give her some love! <3

Tomorrow is International No Diet Day.
I know what I’ll be doing.
How will you celebrate?

Do something kind to your body and for your self.
You are worth every ounce of effort and love in the world.
Now believe it and when you’re ready, own it!
<3
S

I was having a good long talk with an old friend the other night. She’s going through a tough time and well, frankly, so am I. It seems we’re both at a crossroads in our lives and while her problems are more immediate and urgent, it brought up a lot of stuff for me, too. I adore her and have known her since we were in the eighth grade (over 20 years, chi’ren). I was both surprised and relieved that she, too, forgets that she’s a girl sometimes. That sometimes you spend so much time in your head that you actually forget your gender. Not that I think for a moment, “Wait, am I male or female?” it’s more just a forgetting of my own sense of self overall.

I mentioned the other day that I realized I have a very hard time asking for anything. Sometimes though, I think it might be because I don’t know what it is I want or I am either afraid of asking for something that may seem unreasonable or even ridiculous. This came up for me again while chatting with my lovely friend because part of her recent issues have been because of the attention of come of the men in her life. It has been so long since she’d had such positive attention that she is suddenly unsure of how to even deal with it. And we talked about what she wants and doesn’t want and how she could go about that. I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Not that I would take anything from her, she’s amazing and awesome and I’m not the only one who thinks so. But it was that positive male attention! Wow! I miss that!What? I know, I’m married. But it’s different. And things haven’t been the same, I think, since I opened the cafe…maybe even before that!

I was struck by the story of a friend of hers she’d known for ages that suddenly hit on her. Well, let me rephrase that. He said she was “infinitely beautiful.” She was so against the notion. She couldn’t even hear it let alone accept it. She said, “Look, I know I’m cute, but I’m not beautiful.” And I said to her, “But ya are! Ya are infinitely beautiful!” Because, let’s face it, this gal has never been in want of male attention. Same with me, but she puts me to shame in this realm. She doesn’t think so, but I know it’s true. I never stole a single one of her men of interest…but let’s leave it at that! She is beautiful. She is also charming as hell (she didn’t buy that either). So it broke my heart to hear that she still carries so many of the insecurities that I used to have. About aging, about body image…all that stuff! And here I am, older and fatter than ever and I’m actually totally okay with that and me. I mean, my body is rad. No qualms there. But…but?

But damn do I miss the attention. The wooing! The winning of my heart. Not just the chase and the dance that is the dating scene, but just having someone who still wants to impress you or not even that, just that they want you. I just want to feel wanted and needed and desired! Oh man! That is it right there. I forget that I’m a girl because no one treats me like one. So yeah, when someone suddenly does? You can’t help but notice. And I, vicariously, will have to live it through her. To hear the things that have been said to her? Swoon! How could anyone blame her? Well, they shouldn’t, anyway.

No, my marriage isn’t broken or whatever they call it now days. It’s fine. We’re just having a tough time of living, ya know? It’s hard to want to do anything when you’re so broke you have to consider breathing a fun pastime. I think we’re both depressed weather or not we wanna admit it. So who the hell feels like wooing anybody?! And even when I am full of that lusty desire, I freak out about showing or asking for it. And I end up hating myself for it, too. Ugh! I thought I was so confident, especially with my husband. But I am not. It’s a struggle. Even now. I can somehow manage to press on and open my own cafe, but asking my husband to seduce me? Ha-ha! I can’t do it!

What many don’t realize is that long-long-term relationships (13 years, y’all!) go through cycles. There are times when you’re just not in love like you were and you get through those times because you still love the person and find them dead sexy and all, but the spark comes and goes. A couple of months ago I fell for my guy all over again! It was like magic! But he didn’t know what the hell to do with all of the attention and so I laid off. I was surprised by this reaction, but I respected it. But shit, man! I just want him to want me like he used to. And it sucks knowing that he doesn’t (he hasn’t said so, I just feel it, ya know?).

And there is it and that is that. I share these things with you and I wonder why. But it helps. Sometimes I’ll write a post like this and have an epiphany either from a comment (please comment! Ha!) or just thinking it over again in my head and I get an answer! This is life and there’s never a quick fix. I know. But like I said, this helps. Just getting it out there helps. So thank you for reading this blog and my problems and always just being there to bear witness to it all or to comment and help or share your own issues. I am so grateful to have you all in my life and the fat acceptance community, too! <3