*Yeah, this one’s about Rosie O’Donnell, too, so if you’re not interested, I do understand. I will be blogging about fat things more next week, promise.

Watching last night’s episode of the Rosie Show, with Lisa Kudrow as her guest, pissed me right the hell off. At the beginning of the show she brings on this wisp of a man model and insists he’s “not the bad kind of skinny.” Then coming back from a commercial break she makes a big friggin’ deal about some weight loss bullshit and now I’m just mad and annoyed. I am beginning to think that Rosie will get up and cheer for just about any old thing…I don’t know why this surprises me so.

“We are kicking off a brand spanking new weight loss program today called “______ ____ ___”. Listen to this, so the people of “______ ____ ___” have signed on a smokin’ hot celebrity who lost a lot of weight on this plan but I can’t tell you who it is, I’ve been sworn to secrecy. —-You’ll get the exclusive on November 8th. —We’ve enlisted 25 women to start the program, they’re right here in ____ shirts. They got free “______ ____ ___” meals today and for the next 28 days. Plus, one on one help from a “slimoglogist” –which I didn’t even know they had that–We’ve got all of these women coming back and on November 7th They’re going to walk through and they’re going to be…thinner. And then the celebrity is gonna walk through and they’re all gonna hug.—“

And then she goes right back to another commercial break and I’m like what the fucking hell?! She starts off with “not the bad kind of skinny” and ends with a new weight loss plan…mind you she did not refer to herself in any way shape or form when talking about this program/plan/bullshit. And then I jump online to write this post and a commenter mentions how Rosie has always been everyone’s cheerleader. That she will be SO EXCITED for basically whomever is in front of her or people like or in some way could help her show. UGH!

Well, if she is going to be SO EXCITED for everyone ever, then I suppose it’s not such a bad thing. She is human after all. Certainly there are corporate sponsors to worry about. Oprah’s approval, too, no doubt. I just felt like this was going to be the real Rosie show, ya know?

C’mon Rosie! You’re better than this! This is YOUR show now, right? I mean, I love what you said about being proud and standing up for yourself and not wearing spanx that first night…and now this? I’m glad you’re not shilling for some weight loss garbage. At least not directly, your show is, as a host you are, but you’re not on the diet so whatever. I just want you to know that this back and forth on the body hate stuff…it’s damaging to all of us. Remember the “It Gets Better” anti-bullying campaign? Well, you know then how kids can be affected by a stigma. A stigma so deeply rooted in our society that their lives are threatened. That they are denied health care! Based on a damned stigma!!! Not fact! That they are harassed and encouraged to do so by almost the entire fucking world!!!

So think about it, and maybe consider ending the body judging comments all together. You can love yourself, too…just as you are, right now! Celebrity or no, you can let go of the societal pressure and bullshit body hate that only one industry truly benefits from: the 64 billion dollar diet industry! The rest of us lay in ruins in its wake of cash and empty protein shake bottles. Our self esteem still smoking from the last “diet” we all tried. Those fake statistics we all bought as fact…it’s all bullshit and deep down you have to know it is. You have to know it isn’t right. There is a better way. Self acceptance, self love, ending the self hate, ending the judging all together…that is the way, man. I can tell you that for sure! Nothing bad has ever come from loving and accepting yourself. And what a fabulously positive message to give to your audience and the world?! You are a brave and proud woman, I know you can do this!

Thanks for reading. <3

After now watching a couple of more episodes of Rosie O’Donnell’s new show I am not so sure she is self-accepting or representing us fatties. The second episode featured Wanda Sykes and Gloria Estefan. I love Wanda like nobody’s business. She is such an amazing woman and hilarious to boot! And I was just saying the other day, “I wonder what Gloria Estefan is doing right now?” I’m random like that…did you just get here? Ha-ha! But seriously, Gloria was talking with Rosie and insisting that she will teach her to wear Spanx and Rosie seemed very enthusiastic. While I disagree with Ms. Estefan’s insistance that they add protection when using public restrooms <she said you don’t need a toilet seat protector when you wear the kind with snaps in the crotch which I find disgusting because then you’re just absorbing whatever’s on that seat onto your Spanx. Ugh!> but the fact that Rosie sounds excites pissed me right off. The previous episode NOT wearing Spanx was something she was proud of and stood up for. Was she just being nice? Ugh! In that same episode, during her opening stand-up, she began taking questions from the audience who asked what would be her own Ben and Jerry’s creation. To which she said it already existed and it’s “Chubby Hubby” and how “that’s not great for my diet.” WTF?!

In last night’s episode <I’m watching them after my husband goes to bed>, Roseanne Barr was her guest and damn do I love her, too! And she looked amazing! She tells it like it is, always. That is what I aspire to be, man. Just straight up honest, no matter the audience. It’s liberating! And fortunately there was no fat talk what so ever. There was menopause talk, which I think is great because it’s still such a taboo topic which is hella bullshit, but Rosie and Roseanne now use the bio-identical, plant derived, hormone cream. I don’t know enough to have an opinion on the subject, but I like that they talked about it. Oh, but in the opening Rosie was talking about Chaz Bono’s performance on Dancing With The Stars, saying how fit he is and how he ran up these stairs in the performance and how she could never do that, “I’m not fit” she said plainly. I find this interesting because Chaz appears to be bigger than Rosie. Rosie thinks Chaz is more fit than she. It’s a tiny hint of radical in it’s way. To say a fat body can be fit! It can! But it’s rare to hear that on television.

What bothers me now is Rosie’s outfits. It may be a comfort thing for her, it may be a pressure to cover up thing, I don’t know, but the shapeless black swaths of fabric she’s been wearing are bumming me out. Look, I get it, she is a mom of four and if not for having to appear in front of cameras would be a lovely butch in a t-shirt, jeans and crocs. I prefer her this way. She seems more truly herself. So, why not incorporate some of those elements into her wardrobe for the show? You may think this tacky, but I think you can get pretty fucking creative with that shit. Look at Ellen! She’s not into getting all glammed up, but she’s found a way to work her wardrobe to her taste and still be presentable and herself. I want to see this in Rosie’s wardrobe. She’s too great a person to be hiding behind such ugly fashions. I think some indie designers could tackle this and knock her socks off, and mine! Allow her to be comfortable with just a touch of something to step up the look. Not all fat gals can accessorize, mind you, but I think she’s got a staff for that shit, right?!

I am disappointed on the fatty front. I will keep watching though. I want to see how her show evolves as there are bound to be changes. She reads her reviews and celebrates, very openly, the positive ones. I’ve said little about the show itself, mostly because I like it. I am not so into her Game Show bits at the end, but I’m not turning them off either. So something must be right. I love her band and it’s leader/vocalist Katrice. She wrote “Dick in a Box!” The show is good. I just wish she’d end the body hate and just own her glorious fat body. She seems to appreciate and celebrate all people, I hope she can soon find a way to love herself, just as she is, right now. Fat, fabulous and funny!

I’m an avid eBayer and have been for, well, ages. It is my go-to for things I want/need but can’t pay full retail for. I have no problem buying used items most of the time and I was looking for some new lingerie on eBay and was somewhat surprised with what I found. While I understand that some find “foundation garments” to be necessary while others will recoil at their mention, I am not talking about Spanx here, peeps…Nope, I’m talking old school.

I saw everything from panty girdles and waist cinchers to full body shapers and panties with booty inserts. The full spectrum of body shame lay within these “foundations” and while my personal experience with them is limited, my view of them is that of body hate incarnate. I just can’t see it any other way. These contraptions are damaging to the body and the mind. Most of these things were new…with tags! these are no anciet relics, unearthed from bowels of grannies basements, no these are still manufactured TODAY! And all I gotta say is: WHAT THE HELL?!

I had in my mind an image of sexy lingerie for fatties. Satin and lace and frilly little numbers, peek-a-boo whatever and ruffly booty shorts. Those were there, don’t get me wrong, but what I couldn’t shake were the “longline” “full-body” and “power shapers”…Power? UGH!! Some of these things, I wouldn’t even know how to get into, let alone out of. Hooks, snaps, straps and all manner of man made materials, all in the name of “I must not appear fat!”

And can I just say that I never want to hear or see the word “Flattering” ever again?! It’s just fucking code for not fat!! I am over that shit like WHOA! I know we’re a rare and fabulous bunch to be so self accepting and to use and love the word FAT, but it makes it that much harder when faced with the old bullshit baggage of yore.  Also, it is perfectly fine and acceptable, in my opinion, to add touches of lingerie to your wardrobe…that you would wear out of the house! It is, it’s fine and it’s fun!

I think the point of trying to look sexy is to just own it! If you feel sexy, you will be, no matter what you are wearing. No one embodies this more than my gorgeous and lovely friend Virgie Tovar! She is sexy. She makes you feel sexy just talking to her. She pushed the envelope and the boundaries that say fat cannot be sexy. Fuck that shit! We can all be sexy, if we want to be. There is the bottom line, if you want to. If you don’t, no worries. Keep on keepin’ on! But if you do? Go for it! Be it!

I adore this article Virgie wrote for The Sex Positive Photo Project! It’s almost all text, but the ads are not safe for work, or the text for that matter. But I love how she sees fats as anarchists and revolutionaries. I know it took me a long time to see how things like Burlesque could be political and not just fun or sexual. Sexuality itself is political and my view of my own sexuality has absolutely evolved since becoming involved and in love with fat liberation/acceptance. Not once does she mention having to smooth or shape or cinch in order to fit an ideal. Because that is some heavy bullshit. I can be dead sexy without a thread on my body, why the hell buy some horrific contraption to appear as something you’re not? You don’t have to and you shouldn’t. Just be you! You’re fabulous!!!

Not just a fabulous band name (hey wanna start a band?!), but last night I watched the new Rosie O’Donnell show on OWN. Okay, well, I taped it and watched it later. I cannot stand commercials. Can ya blame me? Anyway, I was watching and right in her opening monologue/stand-up she mentioned “fatties” and then said, “I mean that in a loving way” and I have to say, I’m not sure how anyone else took it, but I love it! Rosie is representin’ without shame! Woo Hoo!

Okay, specific quote to come here…

She’s talking about how she had to have a microphone (with a stand, as she gestures) for her monologue/stand-up at the beginning of the show, because she’s been a stand-up comedian since she was sixteen years old and now she’s forty-nine and all and she sees Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno and kind of makes hand gestures like they would. She mentions not knowing what to do with her hands and so she had to have the microphone.

“I like to have the mic, too, so I won’t do that chubby person shirt pull. Are you familiar with this? Anybody? All of the plus sized people, all of the fatties like me, and I mean that in a loving way…We do this (grabs front of shirt with pinchy fingers and pulls) I don’t even realize I do it, but I do it a lot. I watch myself –Why? Why do we do this? Is there such a big difference …it’s like this, oh no no not appealing, but this way Oh she’s Pippa Middleton look at her she is so svelte and fantastic. Just pull the hell out of…I don’t think Diane von Fürstenberg design for that, I dunno.”

And just like that…she’s a self-accepting fatty! I love it! I mean, it can’t be fake, right? I hope it’s not. In fact, I’m considering writing her a letter. I am not yet sure what I want to say, but I appreciate the fact that she’s okay even saying the word “fatties” let alone associating herself with it AND saying it’s in a “loving way.” She later said when asked by an audience member about what she’s proudest of she said of course her kids, “that and the fact that I’m not wearing Spanx right now. I’m very proud of that. Because I had to stand up to my wardrobe terrorist, who insisted I wear Spanx. Are you familiar with these? They’re horrible. They’re a torture device. I’m sure they use them at Guantanamo. I don’t k now what the hell–”

That’s right! She fought to not wear Spanx! How rad is that? Well, I think it’s pretty rad. You so rarely hear about people not wanting to wear these things let alone question what the point of them even is. I love it. I love her, I have a good feeling about the show. Mind you, it didn’t hurt me one bit that her first guest was Russell Brand. He’s delightful. I am fascinated by him. Not in an obsessive way, no I save that for other blokes for sure, but I enjoy him. I haven’t seen “Arthur” or even “Get Him to The Greek” but I just like him. I found the conversation between him and Rosie to be cute and funny, if not a bit stiff. It was live after all, so perhaps nerves?

So, what should I write to Rosie? I’d love your suggestions! What were your thoughts on her first episode?

This picture has been floating around ye olde web here for awhile and today my friend Carol Squires inspired me:

“Wow, just think how much fun it would be to make thousands of these and then plaster them in women’s bathrooms in schools, clubs, dressing rooms, any place we can. I want one for my home mirror. INNDD project?”

My response?
“Love that idea! May just have to make it a mission!”

And then I looked up a recipe for wheat paste and created a printable version so I could get a bunch on a page (email me for the word doc)…it just so happens that I was watching something on street art the other day and some famous artist mentioned a new product that could apply paint for street art and I thought it would be perfect for wheat paste application, too! (It’s like a small squeeze bottle with a sponge-wheel applicator at the top.)
Anyway, I think I will make this a mission of mine: to paste this message in as many places as I can.
I am not yet sure if I will document it somehow, but I will do it and will gladly talk about it!

What do you think? What would you think if you came across this message somewhere?

What other awesome things can we do like this?

Lay it on me!

<3

ETA: Or something more like this? I want lots more suggestions!