Bit of a ranty post, folks. You know how I roll.

Have you had this happen?
You’re talking to some person about yourself and you refer to yourself as fat, feeling all full of activism and pride, when the person stops you with a look of horror and exclaims, “You are NOT fat!!!” Ugh! It’s almost as though admitting you are fat there in makes them fat…or something. It’s bullshit. It’s their hang up, not yours. And here’s the thing, you have every right to identify as anything you want to. Period. No one can take that from you.

This time of year makes these situations all the more difficult with the endless presence of food. But we are strong…no one can tell us we’re wroooooong! Sorry, my inner Pat Benatar does tend to come out occasionally. I personally believe that it is vital to assert your preferred identity as something wholly your own and in no way a reflection of others. When people try to take this from you it is rude, disrespectful, but also very fucking belittling. As though you couldn’t possibly know or understand how you yourself think/feel, etc. Ugh!

When faced with this situation, I quickly and calmly attempt to educate them on their misstep. Not in any way rude or overly aggressive, but again calmly and as simply as possible. Most people receive my little schpeel of info easily and even tend to ask questions…but then you get these insistors! They insist XYZ is bad/unhealthy/the Devil! Yes, I still attempt to explain to them that food has no moral value. If they get even more insistent, I smile and deliberately walk away, if I can. If I cannot and I don’t know the person I will attempt a polite, “well this is going nowhere” with a giant cheesy grin. Why? Because fuck them, that’s why!

Why do we let people walk all over us and then apologize to them on top of it? WHY? There’s no reason! Apologize for nothing you had zero control over! I am sick of hearing people say “sorry” for every little fucking thing! Stop it right now! You have no reason to be sorry. It’s some bullshit social construct either foisted upon us or by our own design, in either case I am throwing that off and away for good. No more, “Sorry” when someone bumps into me or rudely steps on my feet. I mean, why the hell should I be sorry? THEY SHOULD!

I am done with people pushing their prejudices and baggage on me. DONE! And I feel so much better about myself and social gatherings. I even went to a party the other night and found myself chatting with all kinds of people I’d never met before and I had a blast. Body stuff didn’t even come up…not once! Shocking!

So yes, when someone is rude to me, I tell them. It’s important to me that someone tell them and since most people are fearful of a social faux pas . Well I had no say in the building of such social constructs, honesty is best so long as you’re not rude about it. Civility is important. Calm and intelligent discussions are vital! These are the things we are lacking in society today. You don’t see much of that in films or television…it’s up to us to create the world we want to live in.

And because I had a shit morning and spilled my perfectly crafted coffee all over my kitchen in an attempt to make myself something for breakfast  besides coffee I will leave you with the above to consider for  yourself. I really need to finish this second coffee before anything else happens. ha-ha!

I found it on ye olde Craigslist and just couldn’t pass it up! It’s a SCHWINN “Jaguar” Ladies!!! I love it and got it for a steal and it’s a solid, steel frame thing. The guy repairs bikes all of the time and sells them, even offered additional services if I needed. Super cool!

I have wanted a bike for about four years, but always talked myself out of it. First, the money was always tight, still it but like I said the price was right as well as the timing. Next was the visibility of it, I mean, you’re like just out there! And the thing I still haven’t gotten over and perhaps won’t for some time: Fear of injury! I am still dealing with pain and stiffness in my knees. One is more stiff/sore while the other is a pulled hamstring. Neither seem to heal and I personally think that living upstairs only exacerbates them daily. I remember just a couple of months ago running around with my Puggyman in the morning or being able to sprint out to the front lawn for our walk. Ugh!

But you know what? All of that still isn’t enough to keep me from getting a bike! Because I have stopped giving a damn what other people think, I want to do what makes me happy and it has been twenty…Yes, you read that right…TWENTY YEARS since I’d been on a bike! And I fully intend to Glam-up my bike, too! I want to paint it to match this helmet…which I must have:

This one seemed to have no rules. I got along so well with the woman who interviewed me over the phone that at the end I simply asked, “I normally wouldn’t dare ask, but is is alright with you if I skip the formal business wear for this?” To which she said no problem, in fact she often wears her pajamas to work. Well, that’s because it’s in her house, but she was so nice and I really liked her just talking. Of course I had that fear though. You know the one, when things are going almost too well…but you haven’t met the person yet? Yeah, that one. The one that your inner critic won’t let you forget. “But what if she hates fat people?” Damn you inner critic, I thought I had sent you on a permanent vacation! F-U!!!

Ahem.

So I wanted to really wow her/them. It’s a tiny company, not unlike my cafe in a way. I’d be meeting with the CEO and CFO, Son and Mother respectively, for this interview and I wanted to knock their socks right off! What did I wear? Ha-ha! Like you had to even ask:

 

And it went well! I enjoyed talking with them and they did seem quite impressed with my ideas, experience, etc. They didn’t say when they’d let me know, but I suppose I should have asked. Anyway, I wouldn’t be starting until the new year so I shall press onward  until I do hear back. I may even send her an email to thank her or something. Ha-ha! I’m no expert, could ya tell?

The dress is The Chain Reaction Dress from Eshakti, I customized the size, of course, but added a puffed sleeve as well. I adore it! It fits perfectly and oh man, I just love it! The coat is from Lane Bryant about three years ago, maybe two. It’s this lovely purple near-velvet. I wore the hell out of my identical in navy one and took this baby out of the closet for the first time for this interview. The shoes I have on are the same Doc Martens I’d worn with the red dress. The feather is a pin from Jo Ann Fabrics, like three dollars or something, but what a pop of color?! It really works!

So fingers crossed on this job! I liked the people and the company itself and what they are doing. The pay would be just shy of what I am getting from unemployment, so perfect for now. And I’d mostly get 3 day weekends, which suits my current lifestyle quite nicely.

The Puggyman avoiding the camera!

I mean…they keep sending me discount codes and stuff and it’s like i can’t help myself! SO MANY PRETTY DRESSES!!! So now I’m stuck between the Bow Tied Tiered Dress in Blue with Bracelet Length sleeves and the Fifties Swing Shirt dress in Deep Claret with Elbow Length sleeves. What do you think???

I had lunch with a  very good friend on Wednesday and while getting ready I realized that I hadn’t worn one of my latest Eshakti dresses and damn, I need to rectify that! So, I threw it on with my brand new winter-length black teggings and my newest Doc Martens-for-twenty-bucks purchase and bam, instant outfit! The winter-length teggings are a little different than the rest that I have purchased. A little thicker, shinier for sure, and they smell like new shoes when they come out of the package…and a little more snug in the bum. Not sure why. I did discover that they are made in the USA, so that’s pretty cool. But I adore all of them…even the winter length.

The dress I wore was the Embellished Hearts Valentine Dress and I love it…I don’t love the sleeves though. Mostly because there’s not much to ’em. I mean, they are just these little puffs on top with nothing under them really. I feel like they are a bit too short. Any suggestions on what I could do or have done to them?

Oh! The jacket is also from Eshakti, but it was a gift from my BFFs from about three years ago and is not longer available. It has lovely embroidery and is black thin-waled corduroy. This was actually the first time I’d worn it, ever! Not sure why. It’s quite nice and because it’s cropped it is perfect for dresses!

I was pleasantly surprised by a stranger’s compliment on my “color outfit.” When I told her where I got it she asked if I watched “Criminal Minds” and when I said no she said, “You remind me of someone on the show…it’s a compliment, believe me!” Now that I’ve looked it up, I am pretty sure she meant this Kristen Vangsness, right? Only one outfit of colors, anyway. And I will gladly take that compliment and hang onto it. Colors? Yes, please!!!

Walking around a state university campus, well, I was expecting a few side eyes and such, but a compliment? Smiles? Nice! Besides lunch, which was lovely, I was also there to get my laptop repaired. Seems their computer lab is the only place in the area with a free diagnostic. Woot! Everywhere else wanted 129 bucks just to diagnose, not to mention way more for any actual work/repair. Even though I’m not a student, I got a free diagnostic and the repair job will only be ten bucks more than for students…all totaling 65 bucks! It will take a couple of days, but I would much rather give my money to a local school than to a corporation. Plus, the guy talked to me like a normal person and not an idiot. Actually, he thought I was a student there!*Blush* As if! Ha-ha! It made me feel good though.

All in all, a good day and a good solid outfit. I couldn’t really ask for more. I have an interview today and I will be wearing one of my new dresses! Wish me luck! <3

Last Friday night was beyond wonderful. I got to spend some much needed gurl-time with two of my favorite ladies in the universe, Jeanette and Nicole! It was more of a gurl’s night in, but we had a total blast! One goal was to style some of Jeanette’s separates into outfits and accessorize. Nicole has such a great and creative eye for these things, but after two cocktails, well, I wasn’t exactly quiet about my thoughts and opinions. Ha-ha!

Since I knew we’d be dressing up Jeanette and taking pictures most likely, I wanted to show up looking cute so as not to feel left out of the fatshion-ness and fun! I wore my latest Eshakti buy and what I call my Zooey Deschanel dress, but they call it the Take a Bow Dress:

I have to say, I feel so girly and cute and fun in this dress…and it has friggin’ pockets! I couldn’t decide how best to tie the ties, so I let ’em hang. I’m also wearing black teggings, Avenue shoes and a Torrid necklace from ages ago. Next to my feet are my recent Avenue slipper socks purchase. So snuggly! I wore those the rest of the night, I won’t lie to ya.

It was so much fun to go though another fatty’s closet. And Jeanette’s was so damned organized and colorful and lovely and damn, some envy was happenin’ y’all! But she works hard and occasionally plays hard, so I am glad she has a bad ass closet for her bad ass self! I can’t wait to see her wearing some of the stuff Nicole put together for her. Too cute!

All of the fatshion talk got the better of me. I had forgotten how much I used to love clothes and style and all of it! I mean, my first real job was at Contempo Casuals, I was obsessed and applied ON my 16th b-day! I loved it there, but somehow lost my love of fashion after I gained much weight in my late teens. Being around Nicole and seeing her style always inspires me, so yesterday I did the previously unthinkable: I wore a skirt! Nicole would be proud! And she should be since half the outfit came from her anyway, ha-ha!

The skirt and belt came from Nicole, the top is a new Avenue Henley with crystal buttons. Black teggings again! Same shoes, too…No necklace and just some 3 buck earrings I got at a craft fair last year. I was comfy and cozy and feeling mighty flirty. We had our BFFs over for dinner, drinks and a movie. We watched “The Girl Who Played With Fire” and witnessed my husband get truly sloppy drunk for maybe the first time.

So, Teggings! Thicker than tights, thinner than leggings. I gave my husband a bit of a rant yesterday about my love of teggings. I explained to him that they have given me a freedom to wear pretty dresses again! That teggings make me impervious to the elements, embarassment and even the dreaded “chub rub!” Teggings have given me the courage to wear a skirt again! And I love that you can’t see my unshaven legs under them at all! Because it is fucking cold and I will be damned if I am going to even attempt to shave my legs right now. But that’s a rant for another time. Teggings! Oh my lovely and glorious teggings! I just ordered 2 more in black because I wear them so much, but I have almost all of the other colors now, too. They have swapped out some colors I’ve noticed, like the green ones are gone, but I have a pair. Haven’t figured out what to wear ’em with yet, but that’s hardly a terrible thing!

I am enjoying this new found love of dresses and teggings. And it seems people are noticing. That’s not such a bad thing. I like looking nice with little fuss and dresses are for exactly that! I can feel casual while looking more dressy than usual without worrying about this that and the other thing. Eshakti has also given me the chance to stand out from the crowd in a positive way. Their custom sizing option is like the best taste of fatshion freedom I’ve ever had! To order something online and not have to worry about if it will fit? Magic! To know that there is a slim chance someone else will have your exact same dress is nice, too. I have one more dress on it’s way and I can’t wait! I still have one in my closet that I bought in October that I haven’t worn yet. Just have to get out more, I suppose! Ha-ha!

The Duke Of Cute Bids You A Fond Farewell!
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