My Fat Acceptance journal began many years ago when I first discovered BUST magazine and their article on the Chubsters of the U.K. (WOW! I still, so want to be an official Chubster!) I was directed to various web sites and blogs and came to choose my own faves along the way. Yesterday I was going through said faves and cleaning out some old links that are no longer updated and realized just how long it’s been and how far I’ve come.

It amazes me! It truly does. While Fatshionista (a livejournal community) has given me the most empowerment I think, I have found so many incredible people in the fatosphere and beyond. While I don’t know any fats in real life (as they say), I feel that I know many in the world and enjoy being a part of the FA community overall. But now? Now we have podcasts and t.v. shows and new blogs and wonders abound!

You guys?! There are ZINES, Books, fat yoga, Big Moves (Fat Fly Girls), events…you name it! We’re out there, being fat, in yo faces! Ha-ha! Sorry, that cracks me up! (I think almost anything you follow-up with “in your face” is hilarious). I just feel so very fortunate to be a part of this and bear witness to it and participate and we all get to enjoy this thing that we’ve all helped create. It’s AMAZING!

Y’all saw me struggle through the Big Fat Summer Challenge and you’ve inspired me. You’ve encouraged me and I feel so loved. Thank you for that. Thank you for reading this blog and sharing your thoughts, too.

I want to share a recent revelation with you now. Last Sunday, driving back from the Renegade Craft Fair in SF with my BFFs, my friend Q and I were chatting about our lives and hopes and dreams and fantasies. We talked about my cafe and how that’s going and how I feel about it. I feel good, but overworked. I have good days and bad like anyone else at any job. I explained my constant struggles with money (both direct and emotional). And somehow the conversation turned into what I want to do next.

It turned into this fantasy of starting my own fat thrift/consignment shop! What? I know, never thought of this before. But the words came out like nothing else before. I pictured a couple of rounders of clothes organized by sizes and styles and gorgeous accessories and other things and I would have a men’s section and have consignment offerings of gorgeousness and a big chandelier in the middle of the shop and I would have a little cake stand (vintage) and would offer mini cupcakes to my customers and tea and just enjoyment. I want it to be a destination for the fat community and to have events and just be a great big fat haven!

Holy crap! I cannot believe I never thought of this before! And then my logical self piped up, “Oh! But to start a business from scratch all over again?! UGH!” But, wait! This would be much easier. No food safety courses or health department inspections (though I don’t mind them a bit) and expensive equipment and supplies to source…this could actually be a lot easier! But the biggest issue we talked about was location. Big problem! Location was something I struggled with for my cafe. Happenstance stepped in though and I ended up just fine, but I took a humongous risk! It was terrifying, I won’t lie to you. It still freaks me out from time to time, just the instability of starting and owning a business. It could all go up in a wisp of smoke in a second, or so it seems at times.

I don’t know that I will absolutely do this or when, but it was so wonderful to daydream about. And who knows? Anything is possible. I’ve done what I and others said wasn’t doable. I feel like I can tackle anything now. So? Bring it on! Life is a lot of work, but so very worth it every step of the way. I cannot believe I have this rich & full life (without money Ha-ha!). I am amazed at the things I have accomplished with the support of my friends. And you!

“I’m Fat! Let’s Party!”

http://www.seibei.com/shop/iflp.html

Ask me anything: http://www.formspring.me/notblueatall

Reclaiming the word FAT: http://fiercefatties.com/2010/08/06/reclaing-the-word-fat/

Putting an end to fat talk: http://the-f-word.org/blog/index.php/2010/08/06/feel-good-friday-putting-an-end-to-fat-talk/

Scary facts about sugar: http://www.healthywomen.org/content/blog-entry/scary-sugar-facts-and-findings

Sara Rue loses 50 lbs. on Jenny Craig (insert my booing sounds here): http://tinyurl.com/239ua4g

Fall nail polish trends:http://tinyurl.com/276bedl

Fab new Ikea products (I’ll take one of each please!):http://tinyurl.com/294teks

Trailer for ‘Burlesque’: http://tinyurl.com/2erfof9

Last night when I got home, after I walked Sir. Puppenheim, I explained to my husband the whole hubbub over the Lane Bryant tweet and subsequent shit-storm this incurred. His take actually surprised me.

He saw it purely as a corporate giant attempting to tear down an indie option for their customers. As though buying one t-shirt would somehow make us all see that we don’t need LB after all and thus the crumbling of the corporate control/structure of our time would ensure. He said it seemed that if fats can design and sell to each other then what the hell do we need with silly old polyester pushing LB. While I disagree with this theory, I like his take. He also thought that by shaming fats they would buy more clothes. Um, NO! I told him that there is no way that that is a business model. In fact no one depressed or ashamed would go into a mall/store to try on clothes in a fitting room and look in a mirror to buy clothes. Not happening. If anything, the opposite is true. We had a great lengthy discussion on the matter and I appreciated a non-fat & non-web opinion. It’s a rare thing.

Also, I love & heart this post from Lesley of Fatshionista on the matter:

http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=69&p=472

I’ve been on Twitter for so long I can’t even remember. The thing is though, it’s sometimes like that friend you suddenly can’t remember why you’re friends with. Yeah, that!

But today? There’s been some fat shaming by Lane Bryant in regards to definatalie’s t-shirt design. It’s complete and utter bullshit that they are asking:

Is this really necessary? We say NO! Share your thoughts! http://ow.ly/2fILH #lanebryant

Wow! A whole company saying NO to one little indie artist’s design? OUCH! For one thing, I LOVE definatalie, her blog and ALL of her designs. She’s so talented and adorable and witty and just fab! I wasn’t going to buy that shirt, I prefer the fancily scrawled “FAT” shirt, but I am VERY tempted to buy the fat arse shirt and stand outside my local LB with a giant grin on my face!

Honestly, I’ve been sick of LB overall for awhile *now. The quality of their clothing has gone down while their pricing seems to keep on creeping up up up! Plus, the styles? You guys, they kinda suck! I used to look forward to payday and quickly turn said paycheck into dust, walking out with those giant LB bags of yore. *sighs* Now? I only buy their bras. Well, one bra in particular. They are the best ever.

Now? I may have to find another store/place to buy my ladies a comfy home. I just don’t feel very good about giving LB more of my hard earned money. Not when they are perfectly okay with fat shaming. Nope! No Thank You!

My response to their tweet:

Notblueatall @lanebryant Yes it’s necessary! Not everyone buys into the old beauty myths. And no pair of pants are going to make my fat ass any less so!

Feel free to follow my tweets and I will do the same. Just wish I was back into tweeting for more positive reasons.

*Also, since moving from a typical LB 26/28 to a straight up in yo face 28/30, seems they don’t want my monies anyway. Neener! Too bad, since this started when I had that old corporate trainer position money in my pockets. Those were the days. Sadly, the LB gals always tried to get me to wear slutty stuff to my very straight-laced corporate office. Ugh!

Instead of the usual “stuff I wanna buy but can’t or will never afford” type of wish list, I’ve decided there is a more important list for me and my fat ass today:

1. I wish all fats could travel in comfort regardless of the mode of transportation they choose. No weight limits or any other type of restrictions. No embarrassment. No shame. No dirty looks. None of it! And seriously, someone solve the airplane seat thing already! You’ll be rich!
2. I wish that all fashion designers would make clothing for all sizes. Seriously? What is the hold up?! Is our money not green enough for ya? I mean, it’s just bad business. Get on this!!!
3. I wish that all shoes came in different widths. Humans have varying sizes and widths of feet and we should not have to scour the internet to find a pair that is a.) comfortable b.) fits my foot and c.) affordable! YO!
4. I wish that sizing in general would be more uniform. When you’re a fatty looking for fatshions, it’s hard enough to find the actual garment measurements, let alone figuring out what size is which for every damned company! Even fats only clothing lines can be mega-wonky. Try some European style sizing where the number actually reflects the measurements!!!
5. I wish that I could walk into a Nordstrom or Macy’s or Sephora or MAC or any upscale-ish store and be treated like I’m literally made of money. Just once I’d like to look up at a sales girl and not see her looking down her nose at me with disdain. I do have money from time to time but I shall not be padding your commission today. Or how about this radical idea: Treat Everyone The Same & With Respect!!!
6. I wish that height & weight were added to every discrimination law in every state in every country in the world. PERIOD!
7. I wish I could tell every child that they are wonderful and worth every bit of effort under the stars. I wish I could look them all in the eye and tell them they are beautiful and loved. Especially the fat kids!
8. I wish that there was one big fat universal all over the world health care system. It would cover anyone at any time regardless of everything and only the truly selfless & passionate would become doctors and they would be well paid and highly regarded.
9. I wish that people would brag about losing attitude and negativity over pounds. We should reward each other for being more positive. People who talk badly about themselves would be encouraged to love themselves.
   
10. I wish that the diet industry would make a huge (ha-ha) press release to announce their great failure & shame for lying to the entire world. They must pay back a percentage of money to anyone who has tried their programs/etc and apologize to them. People would use the word diet appropriately from then on.
    
11. I wish that talent was the new thin! Creativity the new black! And positivity the new everything!
12. I wish that everyone could say the word FAT with a smile and forget words like “obese” & “morbid” & “overweight” and any other euphemism for FAT!  It would forever be used as a descriptor and little else.
13. I wish that fat characters were portrayed in every movie, show, play, musical, comedy troupe (you name it!) with a real sense of respect/honesty/reality.
    
14. I wish that whole, healthful & nutritious foods were available to everyone, regardless of class, status, geography or other restrictions.
15. I wish that all fats could leave the house with their head held high and without a worry or fear of harassment or shame.

What would be on YOUR Big Fat Wish List???