Sometimes all we need for a swift kick in the fatshion pants is to hang out with a fellow rad fatty, steal their clothes, go thrift shopping and then, you know, like wear something! I was lucky enough to do just that on Tuesday, with Nicole of AWellRoundedVenture! We talked and talked and shopped and lunched and thrifted and talked and talked (mostly about the fabulous Kath of FatHeffalump and her loveliness)! It was a fabulous day in the East Bay, okay, it’s was hella hot, but it was still tons o’ fun! I got this top from Nicole who was getting rid of a lot of clothes and while it’s something I’d never have picked for myself in style and color, I put it on this morning and am loving it! I’m like truly happy and feeling all girly and femme (not usual for moi)!

Also, before heading out to hang with Nicole, I decided I needed to paint my fingers and toe nails! I haven’t painted my finger nails in over three years! I feel so pretty and special and sweet today! My MIL gave me her O.P.I. “Suzy Sells Sushi By The Seashore” before she left and I couldn’t wait to give it a spin! Not sure if I’ll give nail stamping a go (it looks incredible, but also time consuming). This was my first step towards a new whatever. Ha-ha! I’m in a great mood and just wanna share it with you! =0)

The top is Old Navy, the bottoms are cuffed Chinos from Avenue (two years ago?) and the flip flops are Skechers via Ross (they have sequins)! Also, my headband with the flower is from Ross.  If you have a Ross Dress For Less near you, check it out! Headband was $3.99, I bought four colors and love them and get compliments every time I wear ’em! Necklace is from Kohl’s, not sure of the brand. Glasses are from Sears, love them! They are lavender and have faint glitter throughout. Seriously, my bespectacled lovelies, check out your JCPenny & Sears for sales on your specs (2 for $100 when I bought mine)! And the smile? Courtesy of the afterglow of hanging out with the ever stylish and inspiring Nicole! Thanks gurl! You made my week! <3

A lovely reader of this blog, “JaneDoe” wanted to make me a “Fat Bitch” necklace and well, how could I say no?! Emails were exchanged, facts and figures were shared and then I received a lovely little something in my mailbox:

Woo Hoo! It’s back! I love it! Okay, this week’s Tank Top Tuesday submission comes from my beloved WithoutScene of BFB.com fame as well as her own BadAssFatAss & FinessingTheFuckYou! 

I often like to dress very brightly and this was one of those days. I’d never worn these items together before, but found myself inspired to hodgepodge something really colorful together: an old Fashion Bug skirt, a LB camisole, and a cloth I got at a reggae festival years and years ago that is supposed to be used as a headwrap (and of course, my bright blue sports bra). I like to re-purpose items in my wardrobe. Headbands as necklaces, necklaces as bracelets, skirts as shirts, belts as headbands, hair clips as broaches, and most famously among my friends, a camisole as an underskirt–adjust the straps to fit over your hips and wear one under a short skirt (try it out before you wear it out, to make sure it stays up–I happen to have hips that keep it up). To really be innovative with your wardrobe you have to force yourself to work with what you have and get caught up in the whimsy; inhibition is the enemy of innovation. More often than not, you will stand out in a good way. The people with an eye for quirky fashion sense will appreciate you, and if not, what you wear is none of their business anyway.

Talk about breaking the old fashion “rules!” Colors!!! Glorious colors! And that bag is to die for, am I right?! Just goes to show ya that you can be fabulous, fatshionable, and authentically you while still being a rad fatty baring your arms! I love it!

Also, y’all have to see the awesome sauce that is our facebook pictures: “Dueling Smirks”

I am taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms for future Tank Top Tuesday posts! Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like included in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. It does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it!

Also, feel free to still treat comments as TMI topic/discussion/venting area! Feel free to ask TMI questions or just vent/rant about your own stuff. I love it! We all do! =0)

The other day I took my mother in law to the outlet mall nearby (she’d never been, lived here 30 years). I was desperately wanting to hit up the Lane Bryant (LB) outlet so I could get a steal on some bras or whatever! Funny thing, we walked into the entrance right next to the LB outlet! Woo! We were both pretty excited to see what deals were in store for us as we’re both pro bargain huntresses!

This particular LB outlet had one side entirely Cacique. Sweet! We dove right in…only it was more expensive than even their website! What?! We asked the sales person and she basically agreed that it was weird, but left it at that.  So we headed over to the LB outlet side and began our hunting. Only, the bargains were nil! Seriously! Everything was around $50 and their sales only gave you about $5 off of that.  I was surprised at some of the styles there, but it is an outlet so I let that go fairly quickly. But the prices? Let’s put it this way, I walked out empty handed. I went in fully intending to blow quite a wad of cash, but just wasn’t inspired and was downright offended at some of the pricing on that stuff ($30 for a cami?! In an outlet?!).

And I think this latest experience sealed the deal for me. I no longer want to give my money to Lane Bryant. They don’t understand their customers and don’t even try to! Their prices go up, quality goes way down (enough with the fucking polyester! WE DON’T WANT IT!!!) and their “sales” suck! And don’t get me started on their damned coupons and “real women” dollars. UGH!!! *HeadDesk5,000*

Look, Lane Bryant, I get it! You have a huge share of this “niche” market (pishaw!) and you wanna take advantage of that. Go for it! But don’t expect your longtime and formerly loyal customers to stick around while you screw ’em over at every turn! Why would you even consider keeping your normal pricing in an outlet with rejected goods/styles? Did you not know we were in some sort of apocalipto-economy right now? Oh you didn’t? You were too busy counting your millions? Oh, I’ll just leave you to that then…NOT!!! Your wares suck! The fit of your clothing is all wongo now. I used to be able to just walk in and buy whatever in a size 26/28 and know it would fit. Now? That is a joke! Now I have to try on every single damned thing and hope it fits because sometimes it does and more often it doesn’t and it’s never in the same ways!

So, Lane Bryant, as I am about to re-enter the workforce and have money to spend on clothing again, guess who isn’t going to spend it in your shops or on your websites? Moi! I will gladly seek out indie designers, thrift store options or even try my hand at sewing my own garments before setting foot inside one of your stores again! Got it?! Good! Now buck up or fuck off!

Thanks.

This morning as I was waiting for my large, iced, soy white mocha (no whip, thanks) at Peet’s, the barista said to me, “Oh you’re hair looks so cute today!” and I was in utter shock! I leaned over to her, “Me?! Are you serious?” she replied, “Yes! It’s so cute!” I stepped back and looked around and then said, “I swear to you, all I did was roll out of bed and run a brush through it. Thank you so much! You made me feel so much better!!!” and we both laughed. It was a bit of an odd exchange. It’s not like she sees me everyday or even very often, but it was so nice of her to say that.

Truth is this isn’t the first time someone has shocked me with a compliment when I’m feeling especially icky or low. It’s nice and all, but occasionally it can be jarring, too. This morning, for example, I was barely even awake! At first I really didn’t think she was talking to me, but looking around I realized I was surrounded by short haired dudes and figured that it had to be me, right? Most people don’t compliment a guy’s do by calling it “cute.” But I accepted the compliment in the end, which is still not an easy thing for me to do, but I am determined to get better at it! I consider it an important life skill.

So what is up with this outsider perspective thing? How can someone see me/us as something we cannot? I’ll take a stab at it, but I’d love your input as well, okay? So I think because we see ourselves through this inner lens, which differs based on mood and current events, we can’t truly see ourselves outside of that lens. Does that make sense? Like, I felt all crusty and sleepy, but I did manage to brush my hair (and I had forgotten at the time that I’d put a tiny barrette in there) , but someone else saw my weak attempt as awesome and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that! Ha-ha!

We see ourselves at our best, our worst, our everyday and we hear what others think of us our entire lives. Yet we are usually surprised when we see a good picture of ourselves, right? While I have managed to embrace the “bad” pictures of myself and even celebrate them (if you’re my facebook friend, you know what I’m talking about). Sometimes though, even I am shocked by what the camera captures. “Is that really me?!” When others thing we look amazing, all we see are our flaws. We see those minute details no one would even bother to look for or even see/notice!

And what do we do when our BFF/spouse/friend/sibling/etc is feeling blue? “Oh but you look fantastic!” *HeadDesk* We think it’s okay to lift someone up with the same thing. Hilarious! Except it’s not, really. Why are looks so important? Why do we reinforce these concepts? Has society always behaved this way? Did ancient Romans and Egyptians tell each other their hair was looking extra good that day? I honestly don’t know (but I’ll assume only the wealthy had nice hair anyway, right?). How does it make you feel when you’re feeling pretty low on the old self esteem, when someone compliments you on your looks?

I will say that the best mood/self-esteem/etc lifter for me is a fat event or meet up! Nothing makes me feel more empowered and beautiful and strong and amazing than hanging out with rad fatties! I can’t explain it, but it’s like just being instantly accepted and loved without a word spoken. You just know it! You just feel it! It’s awesome! Some of you may be thinking, “Well, that’s great for you, but I have no rad fatties in my life!” Pssshhht!!! If you can’t hang out with rad fatties in person, why not have a rad fatty dance party online through skype or google+?! You can get a web cam on Amazon for $5 (I got the green apple shaped one, it rocks!) and get your fat pride on! Start a meet up group (if you would like suggestions/guidance, email me!)! Seek out local BBW nights at dance clubs! There are lots of things going on, especially in the summer. Let’s lift each other up! Build our fat community and spread the love the world over! <3