I know this is everywhere today, so I won’t go into it. I just wanted to share my experiences with going to nail salons.

I’ve been getting pedicures for about 8 or so years now. For awhile it was a monthly treat for myself on whatever day off I had when I was a retail manager in a mall. I would just hit up the nail salon around the corner and never felt particularly uncomfortable. I pretty much stuck with the same salon until they moved and then when they re-opened went back to them until one day I walked in and there was a man at the register/podium thing. He gave me the up-down (when they look you up & down in that judgey sort of way) and said, “You come back in 2 hours!” I said, “Yeah right!” and left. It wasn’t busy in the salon, I even saw a couple of the nail technicians chatting on a couch. Never went back. I’d been going there for almost six years, even had my nails done for my wedding there (took me so long to grow them out, too). I had never seen him before, but I also didn’t see my usual gal, Tina.

I tried several salons after that trying to find one with both the right price and quality work. (A bad pedicure, no matter it’s retail price is just never worth it!) One time a friend gave me a certificate for this shi-shi-la-la salon on Santana Row (fancy outdoor designer mall pavilion thingy where the rich and pretentious shop near San Jose, CA).  It was terrible! They treated me like a beggar with his first dollar ever! Obviously I didn’t go back (and I wrote a review of my experience on yelp.com).

Then for a few months I went to this seemingly shi-shi place but it was a great price for what you got. For $28-$30 you’d get a spa pedicure with parafin wax for your feet and a leg mask! But it was always crowded, I never “fit in” there and the quality went down over time.

Then I found this great little shop by my apartment. For $20 I could get the spa pedicure and read good magazines (I secretly love “Lucky”) and the gals were nice and liked to chat with you (all previous salon experiences differed from this). They also enjoyed nail art and I would always get a lovely flowery design on my big toes. For like $2-$3 more. They always looked fabulous and I felt great after. I was very faithful to that place until I was laid off a bunch of times and just couldn’t afford the luxury any longer. (I know, $20 isn’t much, but it’d be $30 by the time I left and again, it was a luxury.)

After a few months I’d long for a pedicure and break every now and then and get one at some random place. I began the habit of checking with the health department web site before going to a salon after the whole black-death-fungus-scandal (involving Paula Abdul I think). Then I stopped getting them again.

Now? UGH! Now I do them myself exclusively. Why? Money! But also, there is a certain vibe I would get from certain gals. Like they didn’t want to touch my cute little fat feet. My feet are adorable, too! But no, they’d rather care for the feet of a thinner gal who has hammer toe and some sort of awful going on (this is what I saw I’m not slamming all thin gals) who just wanted to tell everyone about her rich husband and all that he buys her. So money talks, I get it! But damn! Don’t I deserve to have cute colorful toes, too?

I don’t know if I’ve ever been discriminated against in a salon (aside from that one guy), but you can sometimes tell that you’re being treated differently or condescended to. That is unacceptable in any arena and I will tell people. I used to be more of a meek gal when it came to complaining. NO MORE! People need to be told when they suck and when they rock! I am liberal with my feedback because I would want to know if I’m giving someone shitty or awesome service. It is the only way to truly know how you’re doing . Because people will tip out of guilt or obligation or whatever, that is almost never an indication of service, more like common practice.

I am so glad that this woman stood up for herself. I wish more people had the nerve. Because, damn, people can walk all over you and then you just go home and feel bad about yourself when it’s so not your fault! I have been there and have resolved to never again! And shit, talk about biting the hand that feeds! Most if not all of the fat gals I have ever known knew how to pamper themselves at a damned salon, yo! But hey, if my money isn’t green enough for ya, I will gladly go where I am wanted!

Just read this article: http://tinyurl.com/33aj7n9 and as you can imagine, I have some thoughts! Ha-ha! (The first few comments are actually surprisingly not bad at all, the 1st one is rad).

I don’t even need to mention why the photo is all kinds of wrong, right? Okay, it is wrong because it has stolen this woman’s identity by not allowing her to show her face. It doesn’t address the fact that she has a mobility issue and it is no one’s business weather or not she had this disability before she was whatever size she is currently. Or when this picture was actually taken. For all we know she could be quite happy & healthy. She’s out walking for one thing, not sitting on a couch drinking sugar syrup by the jug! Ahem.

70 Million? I am now wondering what this article is using to classify so many Americans as “obese” (scare quotes!). Is it possibly the BMI (body mass index – more badness on that here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439&sc=fb&cc=fp)? Because that was adjusted a few years ago and because of this, literally over night millions were suddenly considered “obese” by this newer version of the BMI. But they don’t specify so one can only wonder.

They go so far as to ask, “Is anybody listening” to the whole “OMZFATWILLKILLYOU” message. Um, everyone is listening. It’s hard not to hear it. It’s everywhere! We are inundated with the whole fat kills message anytime we leave the house, go online, turn on a t.v., watch a movie, read a magazine, etc…America hates fat, we know this. Yet, we’re all fat? Hmm…We’re a bunch of self-haters, yes?

They say that losing weight isn’t impossible and then include a link to a bunch of their past “success” stories. When you actually read each individual success story, most aren’t about someone who yo-yo dieted or other typical issues with weight loss. It’s mostly, “I stopped drinking soda” or “I started walking.” Nothing shocking. But that doesn’t work for everyone. Nothing works for everyone!

The article specifically mentions minorities and non-college educated people as being the most at risk of “obesity.” Funny, that. It’s not the fat that’s keeping us out of college, it’s the damned tuition (and I didn’t have to go to school to figure that one out)! I grew up very poor. Fresh fruits and veggies were serious treats to us. When we’d go to my grandma’s for dinner on Sundays I always looked forward to her fresh, crisp, green salads! Not candy or ice cream…SALADS! Because my family just couldn’t afford those kinds of foods on a regular basis. We ate generic, yellow boxed things that could provide sufficient nutrients so we wouldn’t fucking starve! And don’t get me started on my free hot lunches at school! We’re talking about lower income groups who simply can’t afford to buy healthier food. Watch the documentary Food Inc. and you’ll understand and see exactly what I mean and why.

I have done just about everything in my power to not look/end up like my birth mother. Genetics, you bastard! I am active and healthy and still have hips that could pass a watermelon (heaven forbid). I ate very healthfully and consciously for a very long time, nothing changed. I gave up soda, my co-workers lost weight, I did not. I became a vegetarian and gained a little weight. Now that my weight has stabilized, and I am broke as fucking hell, I can’t afford all of those gorgeously organic crunchy things I so love and crave. I buy when I can and make do when I can’t. Such is life!

I find it extremely problematic for someone like Michelle Obama (Rich!) to make it her personal mission to rid the country of fat people by 2025 (or whatever she said, sorry, it’s ridiculous and I don’t care). Talk about privileged?! Yes, she’s a minority, but she’s a special kind of upper class minority. I doubt she’s ever had more than an extra five pounds on her frame and seems so driven and confident I doubt even that is true. Not to personally attack her, I find her pleasant and smart and a great role model for the most part, but…obesity? Ugh! *sigh*

There is no one solution. There is no diet plan for the masses. There is no universal success story. I mean, shit! If Oprah can’t do it with all of her wisdom, fortune and fame, what hope do the rest of us have? Huh? Yeah, exactly! I am sick of the mainstream media telling everyone that my fat is going to kill me. My fat is not a damned disease. It’s just fat! I don’t have diabetes, or hypertension or any other fat related illness. I am not doomed. I am not a stereotype!

I don’t believe that the government should be telling us how to live our lives. I do think it should start at the source and go directly to the companies that manufacture all of the over processed foods. And aspartame should once again be classified as a bio-weapon! Diet drinks should simply have less sugar or another natural sweetener. We should not have to fear for our lives with every sip or bite we ingest! We should educate on nutrition, not calories! We should focus on activity, not exercise. We should celebrate life, not loss. I am just so very sick of this old rhetoric. It’s bullshit, but somehow no one seems to know it! Ugh!

Okay, I’m done for now. *steps off soapbox*

Thank you for reading & commenting. You’re amazing!

Instead of the usual “stuff I wanna buy but can’t or will never afford” type of wish list, I’ve decided there is a more important list for me and my fat ass today:

1. I wish all fats could travel in comfort regardless of the mode of transportation they choose. No weight limits or any other type of restrictions. No embarrassment. No shame. No dirty looks. None of it! And seriously, someone solve the airplane seat thing already! You’ll be rich!
2. I wish that all fashion designers would make clothing for all sizes. Seriously? What is the hold up?! Is our money not green enough for ya? I mean, it’s just bad business. Get on this!!!
3. I wish that all shoes came in different widths. Humans have varying sizes and widths of feet and we should not have to scour the internet to find a pair that is a.) comfortable b.) fits my foot and c.) affordable! YO!
4. I wish that sizing in general would be more uniform. When you’re a fatty looking for fatshions, it’s hard enough to find the actual garment measurements, let alone figuring out what size is which for every damned company! Even fats only clothing lines can be mega-wonky. Try some European style sizing where the number actually reflects the measurements!!!
5. I wish that I could walk into a Nordstrom or Macy’s or Sephora or MAC or any upscale-ish store and be treated like I’m literally made of money. Just once I’d like to look up at a sales girl and not see her looking down her nose at me with disdain. I do have money from time to time but I shall not be padding your commission today. Or how about this radical idea: Treat Everyone The Same & With Respect!!!
6. I wish that height & weight were added to every discrimination law in every state in every country in the world. PERIOD!
7. I wish I could tell every child that they are wonderful and worth every bit of effort under the stars. I wish I could look them all in the eye and tell them they are beautiful and loved. Especially the fat kids!
8. I wish that there was one big fat universal all over the world health care system. It would cover anyone at any time regardless of everything and only the truly selfless & passionate would become doctors and they would be well paid and highly regarded.
9. I wish that people would brag about losing attitude and negativity over pounds. We should reward each other for being more positive. People who talk badly about themselves would be encouraged to love themselves.
   
10. I wish that the diet industry would make a huge (ha-ha) press release to announce their great failure & shame for lying to the entire world. They must pay back a percentage of money to anyone who has tried their programs/etc and apologize to them. People would use the word diet appropriately from then on.
    
11. I wish that talent was the new thin! Creativity the new black! And positivity the new everything!
12. I wish that everyone could say the word FAT with a smile and forget words like “obese” & “morbid” & “overweight” and any other euphemism for FAT!  It would forever be used as a descriptor and little else.
13. I wish that fat characters were portrayed in every movie, show, play, musical, comedy troupe (you name it!) with a real sense of respect/honesty/reality.
    
14. I wish that whole, healthful & nutritious foods were available to everyone, regardless of class, status, geography or other restrictions.
15. I wish that all fats could leave the house with their head held high and without a worry or fear of harassment or shame.

What would be on YOUR Big Fat Wish List???

Last night on my long drive home from work, I was listening to KPFA (as per my usual) and heard a report where they were talking about food banks and pantries and how the face of poverty is changing. The middle class is dwindling right into poverty and how we’re not prepared for this major change. There is an ordinance up for vote in Los Angeles that would make it easier for local business to donate foods that are still good without threat of legal repercussions. Basically, the food and safety regulations currently in place do not allow for this because of set time guidelines or other guidelines that dictate how long a certain food may be kept/stored/served. This is why grocery stores often have to throw out perfectly good food, if they didn’t they could be sued for a number of reasons. This new ordinance would cost the state/city/fed zero dollars and actually cut waste that would otherwise head straight to our landfills.

Well, all of this got me thinking about that changing “face of poverty” and an idea/image popped into my head that made me catch my breath, think and just feel pretty sick overall. I also think it’s a real thing and could happen and well, LA isn’t exactly the fat friendliest place on earth, but…

Can you imagine a fat standing in line for food at a food bank or soup kitchen? Would they be harassed? Would they be refused? I cannot imagine. I don’t know what it is like to have to rely on said food banks and pantries, but I am happy as hell that they are out there to help people who are food insecure. I had never heard that turn of phrase either: food insecure. I get what it means, but never heard it that way before. I mean, when I was a kid, I was just poor. My family never went on well fare or received food stamps, but we probably would have qualified and probably should have. Luckily we were often helped/supported by my grandma.

What about the mom trying to feed her kids? Is she going to be more reluctant because of her size? Doesn’t she work hard enough? Man, I just can’t fathom it. You know? But there are assholes out there who just make it their life’s mission to be a dick to any and all that they possibly can.

My thoughts, love and hope go with you!

If you’d like to hear the broadcast I heard yesterday: