I know I am always preaching self-care, but it’s so important! It really is! And so I wanted to share some more of what I do and have learned…

I think it was shortly after starting my first in-front-of-a-computer-all-day job that I’d heard about the 20-20 rule. Oh, you haven’t heard about the 20-20 rule? The 20-20 rule, when sitting in front of any illuminated screen, is to look away and at anything non-illuminated (preferably natural light but I know that’s not always possible) for 20 seconds every 20 minutes. This is for your eye health, people. I used to get dry-eyes and headaches until I heard about this rule. So please do.

A recent study was released this week, it’s all over the news, that claims that sitting for 6 hours or more per day greatly decreases your life span. And it’s worse for women than men. To be clear, I haven’t read the study (can’t seem to find it) and when I google it I get a bajillion results all from various local news outlets. It seems most of these stories stipulate sitting during leisure time only, but I think many of us have to sit for this amount of time at work. I don’t want to assume, but it would only make sense that this would have the same impact on your health if it’s simply the sitting that is the cause. They did point out that diet and exercise in the study had no impact, though general activity was encouraged and of course helps overall health.

I found this interesting because of the diet bit. They said in some (though others claim the opposite) that even those who work out and eat healthfully still were at great risk due to sitting for more than 6 hours per day. They didn’t go into why the risk is worse for women. I remember my old job where I was absolutely sitting at my desk for 7-8 hours per day, then drove home, thus sitting another 30-45 minutes on top of that. So what can you do?

I recommend stretching and getting up and walking as much as possible. For me this means if I am sitting for an hour I need to get up and walk around for about five minutes to prevent leg cramps (bananas help with this, too) and other issues. I have very tight hamstrings that get super tense if I’m not stretching them often. At my desk job I would rotate my ankles in circles and bend and straighten my knees. One gal even had one of those little foot pedal things so she would just sit there and pedal away. I secretly wanted one, but never did anything about it. You should also pay attention to the ergonomics of your desk/chair situation. Specifically, you should have some sort of ramp-like foot rest. This way your feet aren’t flat on the ground and your thighs/knees are hopefully not getting cut-off by your chair. Lumbar pillows (for your lower back) are also highly beneficial.

I had one job with the worst chair ever! That on top of it always being colder than a meat locker in that place lead to my going to an acupuncturist for back pain. He recommended all of the above and after two visits to him my back pain was gone! I highly recommend acupuncture, even for those who are needle-shy. You honestly can barely feel them. I had one needle in the top of my head and didn’t even know it until he pulled it out and showed me. They can help with almost any pain issues you’re having (I say almost because I don’t know if they can help those with Fibromayalgia or other chronic pain).

Stretching is a great low-impact self-care method. My husband is a great believer in the power of stretching. I resisted, but am now trying to get into it myself. I don’t have a routine, but whenever my “hammies” feel tight I try to do some lunges and such. I would also recommend these things for your wrists and fingers and hands if you type a lot or do paperwork/filing things. Shake out those wrists, wiggle those digits and stretch your arms over your head. Good stuff! And you know how when you have been sitting awhile or in a uncomfortable chair and your butt had that flat/dead feeling? Yeah, time to get up and move and shake it! If you’re embarrassed you could always head to the restroom for this, but I love seeing people smile so I just do it whenever and wherever.

What other self-care do you do? Do you do anything like the above at work? How do you remind yourself to do self-care every day?

I have talked to other fats about fat acceptance when I have encountered friendly souls. I have, more often than not, held myself back from doing it though. Why is that? I know how positive and fabulous FA is and has been for me, why not share this wealth of knowledge and resources? How would you like to be approached by a fellow fatty about Fat Acceptance?

I have once or twice just given them my blog-business card (I fucking love vistaprint.com, so cheap!):

and invited them to contact me…so far none have. And I encounter fats all of the time. I always smile, because, well, it’s just polite and I like to see other people smile back. Would it be crossing some sort of line to walk up and say something? How would I ease into it? I feel that the business card helps, at least it’s not like I’m selling them something. But I am curious. I am not sure how someone would have introduced FA to me had I not discovered it on my own (through BUST magazine).

The truth is, there are simply far too many self-hating fatties and I want to reach out to them, to hug them and hold them to my loving bosom and let them know that it’s okay, they are worth everything in the world. They aren’t worthless or disgusting. But I can’t just go around forcing hugs on people (funny story, that).

Right now I’m thinking about a young gal that serves me at a local drive-thru. She’s adorable! I always want to say something, but I never know what (and it’s always before I have coffee so I’m not all there if you know what I mean). Can I just hand her my card and say, “Hey, I think you’re rad, check out my blog!”?

What have you done to introduce someone to FA? How would you have liked to be introduced to it? Have you approached a stranger about FA? I’m dying to hear your stories and advice. Thanks! And happy Friday!<3

Oh yeah, it’s baaa-aack! I will be taking submissions from anyone who wants to exercise their right to Bare Arms!
Email your pics here: notblueatall@notblueatall.com, please include the name you’d like included in the post, a blog or etsy shop you wanna plug, your thoughts on bare arms or other fatty philosophies. Does not have to be in a tank top, so long as your arms are bare. Have fun with it!

Also, feel free to still treat comments as TMI topic/discussion area! Feel free to ask TMI questions or just vent/rant about your own stuff. I love it! We all do! =0) 

So here’s my tank top pic for today, it’s so hot already and it’s not even 11am! Oh well. I got this tank at Torrid about a hundred years ago or so, you know, give or take! Ha-ha! I’m so over doing my hair and actually giving a fuck about how I look this week. I’m not hiding a thing today…Too hot! Ha-ha! My love to you all! <3 *Hugs*

No really, that was the name of the show I attended last night! Okay well it was actually called: The Kentucky Fried Woman Show Unicorns & Rainbows: A Queer Cabaret Celebrating All Things Gay It was fabulous, if not too short in my opinion. I had never been to the venue before, but I liked it a lot. The decor was a bit posh for what I’m used to, but in general not too stuffy or stuck up or anything either. Nice! The show featured music, dance, burlesque and fun fun fun! To say I enjoyed myself would be an understatement. I had my two BFFs with me, many laughs were had.

Actually, the only bummer of the evening for us was after the show was over we were invited and promised that there would be a Dj for dancing. I don’t know who the Dj was, but at first he was playing some pretty cool 80’s songs and J & I had fun goofing around dancing to those, but suddenly it was slow or just strange songs in general. Before the show started they were playing The Gossip, Beth Ditto and even Lady Gaga over the sound system. We were all into it, so the after show music left us wanting. It really bummed us out. We were ready to dance the night away, especially since the show ended at 9ish. I don’t wanna pick on anyone and I don’t know the situation, but I’ve always felt that the role of a Dj is to read the room and enhance or lift the mood. Ya know? Am I off base here?

And so we left, with some hesitation, singing our way back to the car. As per my usual, I got us a bit lost before finally finding our way back onto the freeway. I don’t know what it is about Oakland, but this happens every single time! Ha-ha! J & I kept the dancing going most of the way home. But by the time we got to our apartment building I think we were all pretty tired. I was still very much awake, but physically tired since I’d been up since 6 am and already went fishing with my husband and went to an art & wine festival that day. All in all it was a fun and full day. It was lovely to see so many friends and new acquaintances.

How was your weekend? Tell me all about it!

Looking for more personal NotBlueAtAll stuff? Check out my Tumblr! Be sure to say hi or ask a question! Thanks.

I’ve seen a few people around the fat web lately asking for more single/dating voices out here in the blog-o-sphere. While I do not date, I am in fact married, I do so sympathize! You see, yesterday I had a strange thing happen. I popped online to check my email (on a Sunday even, Ack!) and someone wanted to chat on yahoo IM. I recognized this person as someone I follow on Tumblr. I’ll admit up front here that I used to have a tiny web crush on him. He’s sort of adorable. Only he totally fucking ruined that yesterday.

When I was dating, I had a terrible time meeting guys. At the time I didn’t think it was purely due to my size, but I had a lot going on after just coming out of that awful relationship. I met a lot of guys online, on AOL chat rooms to be specific, and went on way too many blind dates because of this. I remember one blind date, I went to the guy’s place (I know, so what not to do 101) and when he opened the door he said, “Well, you’re more “full figured” than I had though.” and I said, “Yeah, um, you’re much smaller than I thought.” Which I know sounds awful, but we ended up being fab friends until we both found permanent partners. Truth is we were swell on the phone. Yet in person there simply was no chemistry or physical attraction.

Yes, I described myself as “Full Figured” online back then because no one ever told me it was okay to be or call myself fat. Would have made things easier, no doubt. And it seemed the more dates I went on the more horror stories I gathered. Yeah, didn’t meet a single decent one…well, I did, but then my best friend TOTALLY stole him (glaring at you Steph! Ha-ha!). I see now that it wasn’t such a loss, but I was devastated! I even tried to hook up with his best friend just so we could have double date scenarios available. I went through this phase after that where I thought I wanted bear-types. Like, just big burly guys who would, I thought, protect me. I found out in fact that most needed more protection and emotional support from me. Go figure.

And being a fat girl in the dating world can lead to many assuming stereotypes are true. I had guys ask me if it’s true that fat girls are faster to sleep with someone or if redheads are truly demons in the sack (we are! he-he), all kinds of stupid-ass stuff. It wasn’t so much that I was looking for a good time or a quick lay (I really should have been), but I was still in love with the idea of love. I was so enamored with finding a perfect somebody that I forgot to find out who I was first. The moment I began to work on myself? I met my husband. We were friend first, which I’d never dated a friend before him, but it worked out nicely I think. Ha-ha!

So this guy yesterday? From tumblr? Yeah, he wanted to “chat” alright. He said he had a “fetish for chatting on web-cam” and could I go to his personal site (which was called something like sexy stranger cam or something equally horrific in my opinion) so no one would record or interrupt us. I was all like sorry dude, I don’t have a web cam that works at the moment (I bought one for $3 on amazon, but it’s a pain to use and is always leaning to one side). But he kept insisting and then said, “Lame! No wonder you’re single!” and I responded with, “I’m married.” and he then said, “Oh I don’t mind baby, let’s go over to my web cam site. I swear it’s safe. You just have to verify that you’re over 18.” To which I responded with *Barfs* which somehow didn’t give a clear enough signal to this douche. He kept at it, trying to get me to go to this site for another five minutes before I finally just closed the chat. He is no longer adorable.

If this is the shit you have to put up with in the online dating scene? Count me out forever! I meet way more people in real life that are truly into me then I have online. I mean, it is awesome that we can get to know people and begin to build relationships on the internet and all. But the two-faced pervo shit? Yeah, that needs to go! I demand respect when I meet people, no matter what type of relationship I’m looking for. Respect, honesty, intelligence and best of a decent conversation. Not too much to ask, right? Ha-ha! It seems that it is. This clown shoe didn’t have the decency to even ask my name. I know he has an actual girlfriend and had he wanted to just chat I would have  been fine with it. But his perv-cam-bullshit? No, thank you.

And so a tip of my hat to all of you single folks out there trying to get to know anyone in this crazy world right now. It’s bananas. I don’t know how you do it. And if you’re seeking advice on how to find love? Sounds cliche, but stop looking! Just do what feels good, you enjoy or makes you happy and there will inevitably be someone around doing those same things, too. I find that people are more genuine and put on less airs when they are just doing a hobby or pursuing an interest over the typical bar/nightclub thing. Although, that works and is totes fun sometimes, too!

I’d love your thoughts and input. Wanna vent about dating? Hit up my comments! Let us all share in this! Thanks! =0)