Sometime in early 2012, I found my soulmate in a dress from Eshakti (a dress lover’s best friend). I didn’t know it exactly at the time, but this dress would be THE dress for so many important/traumatic/interesting/joyful moments in my life in the coming years. I soon also discovered a love of vintage haberdashery that in the end created the perfect ensemble! My size has changed a few times, the dress was originally custom sized to my measurements but still arrived too big and had to be taken in. Yet it still fits perfectly. When I bought it I had no idea what occasions it might suit, but the hat I found in an antique shop guided me. It was love at first sight with that hat, too.

These things were still so new to me, as I had never truly presented myself as very femme in the past. I was slowly but surely building up quite a dress collection. At the time, Eshakti had fantastic coupon codes and for a year I was part of their board of consumers who provided much feedback on their prototype designs and fabrics, good times. I had been previously gifted a string of pearls by my then (now ex) husband that went perfectly with the look that I was building. Years later I found a pair of vintage gloves in ivory with tiny pearl accents in an antique store for a steal, along with some vintage handkerchiefs. I was amazed at how they all sort of called out to me in their own way and yet all fit together as though they were meant to be.

I have worn this ensemble many times and each time feels like the first. It just works! I’m no fifties housewife, nor would I ever want to be, but something about this look just tickles me. Maybe it’s my own ridiculous form of rebellion by pushing back against what women went through when such styles were in vogue. Maybe it’s a strange way to rebel against my own punk rock heart. I don’t know, but it is love in a very real and pure form.

I wore it for the curtain call in the first Big Moves Bay Area dance show with my dance partner Tigress. I wore it for the Sunday Salon at NoLose in 2013. I wore it to the Fatty Affair Family Picnic. I wore it to my ex-husband’s fancy dress (costumes were encouraged) wedding reception. And just this past weekend, I wore it to the #FatAndFree High Tea! I got so many comments and compliments I finally put all of these moments together in my head and realized just how important this outfit is to me.

I have often struggled with fashion and finding my own sense of style. It’s a lifelong journey that never stops evolving and I have always enjoyed the ride. While I would never call this my definitive style or something that represents me or my personality, really. It is something that I am proud to rely on. I didn’t have to think about what to wear to tea, I just knew! And so I share with you photos of these moments, in this ensemble, this dress, that hat, all of it over the past five years…

After the 2012 Big Moves Dance Show, BFF did a photoshoot for fun…

2013 Last Day of NoLose PDX

2013 Fatty Affair Family Picnic

12-16-17 #FatAndFree High Tea

Have you found such a garment that just makes your heart sing? I remember a specific granny dress (Mervyn’s) from my grunge days that I’d pair with one of my dad’s flannels and my classic Doc Martens boots (that I’d found at Ross for $20!!!). Oh to have that ensemble back!!! I recall my thirteenth birthday gift from my BFF Summer was what would now be called high waisted black skinny jeans with the zipper in the back along with bows and zips at the ankles (and a t-shirt that said “U Cant’ Touch This” with neon handprints all over it! HAHAHA!). I had a beloved peter pan collared Smurf shirt in Kindergarten. Until just now I hadn’t really thought about these things.

Fashion can make us feel so many things, but when it feels most you is when it becomes more than just fabric and thread. It almost bears witness to our moments and struggles and triumphs and dreams.

Rad Fatty Love to ALL,
<3
S

P.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Insta & FB!

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