Choose You!
Why does it actually upset me when I hear people refer to themselves as “fluffy” or “curvy” or “plus size” or any other thing besides fat? The other day I was reading something, I think my random  rage deleted the content from my memory, and I became genuinely angry. Okay, I’m not usually so quick tempered, but part of it felt like a slap to my face, ya know? I identify as fat. I love the word fat. I guess you could say that others refusing to use the “f-word” makes me feel somehow that I shouldn’t.
Fuck that! I don’t care what is socially or culturally acceptable. I truly don’t. I mean, I use my manners and common sense all of the time, but fitting in? No thanks. What is the point? What has trying to fit in ever done for me? Nothing but heartache and misery. If I let my fat flag fly a little too brightly or loudly or proudly that is other people’s problem to sort out, not mine. I refuse to feel ashamed about myself or my body ever again.
This body is a gift and a treasure and I shall do with it what I see fit. It longs to be touched and caressed and held and loved and respected and supported. This body no longer demands to be hidden or draped or labeled as anything remotely unacceptable. No, this body is mine. This body is incredible. This body loves and supports me only as much as I love and support it. Perfection is a myth, it does not exist, and we need to get more creative with our vocabulary instead of demonizing such cute and fun little words such as fat.
I love words. Obviously, here I am typing them all the time. Words are sort of my thing, ya know? Ask anyone who’s ever talked to me for five minutes! Ha-ha! So glad I wasn’t names Cathy, for that reason alone. How I choose to identify myself is just that, my choice. If you are in my presence, in my company, in my life at all, then it is very important that you respect my chosen identity. I would never insist that someone isn’t something they identify as. The nerve!
I know it’s not easy, you have to find a way to deprogram yourself somehow and then to continue to resist the popular culture of self-hate and body shaming…for life! It’s a lot of work, but it’s fucking worth it! My body, your body, all of our bodies are worth that work. And the bodies of those who cannot do that work yet? That is why I choose to do it now and for me and to share it here, too.
I could easily give up on all of this awesomeness and just fall back into line with the dieters and self haters and just fall back into a depression and destroy the life I’ve built. But why would I do that? Why would I want to? Why would anyone choose that existence? Well, I lived that life before and have zero interest in revisiting it. The truth is that lots of people choose that life whether they realize it or not. Most people don’t realize that it IS a choice. 
You can turn your life around for the positive. You can actually be happy in the body you have, fat or not. You can, eventually, say the word fat and apply to yourself in a neutral or even positive way. It’s only a descriptor, folks, not an insult. Your body isn’t going to suddenly transform into something else. It won’t simply evaporate, either. If it could, believe me, mine would have ages ago so I wouldn’t have had to endure the abuses I did back then. But this is reality, baby, and that’s okay. You’re okay! We all are.
Choose You! Choose the body you have and choose to love and support it. Your life will improve. Your outlook on the world will improve. You don’t have to stand in the streets with a sign, you can simply sit quietly with these thoughts and choose to love yourself. You are amazing and awesome and anyone who says otherwise is full of shit! End of story! What you say to and about your body, out loud or even just in your head, does make a difference…a Huge difference! Treat your body like the beautiful gift that it is, and this life and this world that we’re living in. If you wouldn’t throw shit at your best friend’s body, you sure as hell better stop doing so to your own! 😉
Choose You!
S
<3
Euphemisms are annoying. I use the word “fat” to refer to myself, but I recognize that others are sensitive to it, and I will be polite to them if they are polite to me. It’s a little more delicate these days, because I lost a lot of weight due strictly to illness and drugs.
I don’t like “fluffy”, because it implies that fat people are as insubstantial as cotton candy. I don’t like “curvy” either, because fat people are not necessarily curvy. Plus-size? Plus denotes a positive, therefore plus-size should be anything size 2 or above, right?
On the whole, I completely agree with you. I bet you read these things and think, “Gawd, I am so PAST that!”
Mulberry: Past them? Yes, but I am finding the value in revisiting some 101 type stuff and trying to go back to how I felt when I was there, ya know? It’s interesting, how perspectives change over time. I often feel very disconnected and so addressing things that seem old hat to some actually helps me move forward on my own journey while helping others find the path of theirs. 🙂
You know, I felt really crappy this morning and this was like a hot cup of coffee for the psyche. Thank you, I’m bookmarking this!
Frances: Wow! Thank YOU! Never had a post called a hot cup of coffee before. That IS a compliment. Glad I could give you a boost. Take care of You! <3
This vein of conversation never seems to get much of a response out of Fat Acceptance. I have had to be very aggressive about it (in a nice way) to get any response and it never goes anywhere.
I am fat, not stout or portly or any of the other rare substitutes for describing a fat male.
Before I accepted the word fat, I could not even look at my body in a mirror for more than a glimpse. I will never give up the word “Fat”.
William: Yes, I think when discussing identities it can get a bit touchy. We all know what feels right for us, but to draw a line or even exclude folks because they’re not yet ready for the f-bomb, well, I don’t think anyone wants that. I mean, we all must start somewhere. And we’re fighting an uphill battle, trying to get the truth and facts out to the world when the marketers clearly have our society by the throat with their tactics. I, too, will never give up the word fat. I find even when it’s misunderstood that it can lead to some very interesting conversations, my favorite! 😉
[…] got some fantastic feedback on that last post “Choose You” and after a lovely and relaxing weekend away at a friend’s home in Northern […]
Hi Blue
I would not attack anyone over the use of a fat synonym, but I think the communal denial and silence that this type of conversation often meets is not healthy. I am glad you got some responses here.
I lead by example by calling myself fat and describing my body as fat.
William: Yes! I fully agree. Silence is the enemy, in my opinion. Thank you for leading by example. I think the world would be a better place if more people thought that way.