Are You Depressed?
While reading a very old magazine, randomly, I came across a story about a woman who had been living in denial with depression for decades. She had never known how to be happy. She had a seemingly full/happy/perfect life, couldn’t ask for more, yet she couldn’t enjoy or appreciate it. It broke my heart to read it. When her daughters were diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome, she was somehow more aware and able to address her feelings without feeling like a failure. When she was diagnosed with Major Depression and was prescribed an anti-depresessant, she found that she was finally able to participate in her life in a more authentic way. She enjoyed things! I was just dumbfounded reading this.
I have written here about my own past struggles with depression. I won’t try to fool you, I still battle it. But I never sought help outside of myself/friends/internet/etc. I never had therapy or talked to a doctor about it. Often I think I would have benefitted greatly from seeing a therapist in some way. I still think this. I find that as I get older I become more vulnerable to stress and anxiety. Ugh! But I keep going and I learnn and hopefully grow from figuring these things out on my own. (And thank Maude for my husband who can handle my special brand of crazy.)
I know that this time of year can often bring out the worst in all of us. We become irritated easily, impatient over all, overly emotional (without reason), body aches and more. Or we simply fall into a funk we can’t seem to shake. Please do not pretend to be happy when you’re not. It doesn’t help anyone, especially yourself. You may not even realize that you are depressed. Fatigue is a big symptom. No matter how much sleep you get it never seems enough. Or sudden insomnia. All of these things are signs of depression. I’m not saying you need drugs or therapy, but I do think that it’s important to be aware and to try to help yourself if suffering.
I know nutrition plays a big role in this, too. When we’re deficient in a specific nutrient (iron is common) that we can feel tired or just a general malaise. Consider what you’ve been eating and try to squeeze in some more nutrients or a little something special that always lifts your mood (hello Coffee!).
Please do not suffer silently alone. You’re only isolating yourself and making it seem like you are more alone than you truly are. You are not alone. Reach out. My email: notblueatall@notblueatall.com or call one of these hotlines:
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK
National Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 1-800-621-4000
NDMDA Depression Hotline: 1-800-826-3632
Crisis Help Line: 1-800-233-4357
Take care of YOU!
Excellent post. When I was diagnosed with psoriasis my dermatologist strongly recommended that I see a therapist, so I did. And even though there were lots of ups and downs (my first therapist died very unexpectedly) I now have a fabulous therapist and I can’t begin to strongly recommend therapy for anyone who can afford it.
And don’t blindly trust anti-depressants, they can make symptoms worse.
Yes, for anti-depressants it’s about finding the right one. The side effects scare the shit out of me, to be frank. Ha! I am so glad to hear that you have benefitted from therapy! Thanks.
i have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. hormonal birth control made it worse, and i refuse to touch the stuff. i’d tried some different medicines in the past, but i didn’t have luck finding anything that worked, so i gave up.
and i dealt. i wasn’t happy, but i could at least manage “eh, this doesn’t suck.”
i am certain that my depression, anxiety, and inability to handle stress were factors in my developing lupus, especially how it literally exploded all over my body.
now that the lupus is mostly controlled, my doctor and i are working on the depression/anxiety. we found a medicine that seems to be working. i no longer have an overwhelming sense of impending doom. i’m going to find myself a therapist and have some cognitive behavioral therapy to learn new responses to things.
some close friends gave me a book for christmas about gratitude, and how awareness of and gratitude for the small things in life will help you find joy and happiness. i read that on the dust cover. i realized that i have NO EFFING IDEA HOW TO FIND JOY OR HAPPINESS. and i had an epic, epic panic attack.
fun.
i took a xanax, called a friend and talked for an hour, and felt better.
i guess this is me rambling to say that i’m grateful for a greater awareness of mental health issues, and that i’m grateful i am in a place where i can work on recovering from mine.
Wow, you have had quite a journey. And I do hope you find the right therapist for you. And I can personally attest to the fact that when you find gratitude and can step back and appreciate everything around you, no matter the state of your personal life, the world is just better. The book “A New Earth” by Eckart Tolle helped me with this when I was struggling and unemployed and depressed. It wasn’t an overnight thing, but it was well worth the work. I am so happy to hear that you’re on the right path now. Woo!
Thank you for this post. I have just within the last month talked to my doctor about depression that I have been hiding for a couple of years now. This year it took a turn for the worse, and I found myself wanting nothing more than to sleep the days away. I was functional, but had no joy. I hated admitting it to myself because my mother was a classic manic depressive who stayed in her room with the shades drawn for days, then would stay up for days cleaning, shopping, and writing in her diary. I didn’t want to be like her. Nor did I want to be like my siblings who all have some form of depression and are on medication. Like you, I talked to my friends and family, but had no real therapy aside from some counseling with a church pastor many years ago regarding abuse. I finally brought up my depression with my doctor a month ago and agreed to try medication. It’s not the miracle I was hoping for, but I truly feel as if I am taking charge of my mental state again, and seeking out true joy again. I realized I am worth the effort, and that the stigma I attached to depression was making matters worse.
I hope others can come to that realization for themselves, and seek the help they need. There are no guarantees, and there certainly aren’t any miracle cures, but there is always hope….and I am embracing that again, and hope others will as well.
Yes, isn’t it amazing how well we manage to cope and muddle through life when inside we feel miserable?! The human body & mind are a scarily amazing thing! And yes, I struggle with not wanting to be like my mother who would stay in her room all day every day reading ignoring me and my siblings. I don’t know that she was ever diagnosed or treated for her illness, but I hope so. Thank you for sharing with me here. =0)
I can honestly say that therapy has been the best thing for me when it comes to my depression and anxiety. Well actually, diagnosis first, then therapy. I am very lucky that I am subsidised for my therapy costs, because I’d never be able to afford it otherwise.
It took a few goes before I got a psychologist that was right for me too. The first one I had was excellent, but the subsidy rules changed and I couldn’t go to him any more. I had a couple of crappy ones after that, then I was referred to my current one, who I work very well with.
Before diagnosis, I thought that the way I was living, feeling unhappy and empty and lost, coupled with crippling anxiety, was just the way life was. I never conceived of living in any other way. So what a revolution it was for me to discover otherwise.
It’s not a shameful thing to get therapy. Nor is it indulgent, self-centred or vain. It’s part of your overall health and if you need mental health care, you should be able to get it.
Yes, if I were to move out of the US it would be anywhere I could get free healthcare! And you’re 100% right about therapy not being vain or indulgent. I think it’s necessary for everyone, actually. Maude do I wish my family would get into therapy, myself included! Sadly, it’s so prohibitively priced it’s just not in the cards at this time. But who knows what tomorrow will bring! Thank you for sharing your story!