Fat Masturbation (Oh Yeah!) NSFW
Okay, I get that there are people in the world who actually don’t masturbate for various and personal reasons. That’s cool. I also get that there are people who have no interest in sex at all. Also totally cool. No judgments from me. This post, though, may not be for you.
Also, if you know me or just don’t wanna hear about me masturbating, you can skip this post and come back tomorrow. Thanks!!! <3
Masturbation(link informative and cool, but NSFW): noun 1.the stimulation or manipulation of one’s own genitals, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification. 2.the stimulation, by manual or other means exclusive of coitus, of another’s genitals, esp. to orgasm.
Well, that’s the dictionary definition anyway. I love all of the various euphemisms for it, but whatever you prefer, rock on! I’m talking about getting yourself (what I use when any other way won’t work). It’s something so very basic and normal, yet somehow our wonderful (sarcasm here) society has dubbed it taboo, or worse, Icky! Not in my book (oh wait, I have to write a book to say I have a book? F-that!)! It’s a great thing to do. It’s a great way to relax, treat yourself, let off some steam (ha!) or just do it for the sake of it. Ya know? And certainly we’re not the only beasts in nature doing it! Let’s discuss!
I can’t recall when I began masturbating, but I think I was about 13 or 14 when I started to orgasm from it. What a revelation! Ha! It was certainly all I had personally experienced in the way of sex until I actually lost my virginity later. It was also at this time that I started dating (I was always boy crazy) and fantasizing about guys and make-outs and all of that happy stuff. Even now as a married lady, I totally still masturbate. Sure I don’t have to, I could always ask for a hand or wait until my husband comes home or whatever the situation may be…but sometimes it’s just necessary! And that is totally rad!
I hate that masturbation is rarely talked about and often viewed as shameful. Fuck a whole lot of that! Ha! No, I think it’s kind of essential. I mean, you probably won’t die if you never do it, but I just prefer to live with it than without. And I sort of believe that everyone does it or has at the very least tried it once! No matter where you are, who you are or where you come from, you’ve probably gotten your rocks off at some point in your life. Just sayin’!
I wanted to talk about fat masturbation today. Why fat? Well, because I think it’s often overlooked and because I’m fat and I masturbate. Fair enough? Okay. Some of you may be thinking, “How would fat affect masturbating at all?” Well, in the same way it can affect sex! Positions matter, man! Some prefer the old fashioned way, while others prefer varying positions and toys. TOYS!
When I say old fashioned way I mean laying on your back with your legs apart. I would equate it to missionary intercourse. And I used to think that this was the only way to go about it, but then you spend enough time on your own and well you figure things out. I’m at the point now where I know how my parts work and what I need to do to them in order to get off. However, I have found that a lot of women do not in fact know their anatomy very well and either don’t masturbate or only do so on occasion and not as a regular thing. I encourage everyone (regardless of gender) to try stuff and see how it works. I am of the belief that you can’t fully enjoy partnered sex until you understand what works for you.
On the topic of toys, I have very limited experience and use. I generally go for clitoral stimulators/vibrators, but just recently bought a combo that, while not perfect or mind blowing, gets the job done in a way that I like. I have tried two different ones that claim g-spot stimulation, but they failed. I’m not particularly interested in the great g-spot expedition, but thought I’d give it a try! And that’s the cool part, tryin’ stuff! Try lube! Guys! Gals! Try it! It rocks! I was very apprehensive about it at first. I thought it meant my lady bits were dryer than the Sahara desert, but no, it’s not and lube is fun!
I would love to talk about varying techniques, toys, positions and everything in between. Please comment and share. Don’t be shy, we’re all pals here! What works for you, what doesn’t? Do you require music or just a spot away from the action?
The g-spot toy I have is the only thing I can use to get myself off. I had never had an orgasm AT ALL before my current partner, and I spent many frustrating afternoons trying to replicate what she can do with her hands, but it’s simply impossible at my angle. She gave me one of those rigid g-spot toys, and now I can get myself off at least, though not as huge of orgasms as I get with her.
I do it rarely though. My interest in sex is really low, because I’m on Prozac. I only masturbate about once a week, and sex happens less often than that, to the frustration of my partner. That’s something we’ve been working on.
Yay! Someone else whose partner does a better job at getting you off than on your own. Woo! I’m the same way, but husband and his magic hands, I swear! Gets me off 100 times better than just me and my toys. But sometimes that’s okay, too. There are times I just wanna get off quickly rather than taking some time for it, ya know?
And can I just say, when I was on birth control pills (even the lowest hormone dosage) it killed my sex drive. Once I stopped taking them, and that scary bit when you hate everyone and everything until they are out of your system, I actually wanted sex again! I know it’s completely different with Prozac, and I’m sure it’s helped you much, but I wanted to put that out there. And who the heck says you have to have sex more than that? I hate that we’re told a certain amount is best or healthy or whatever. Bah! What you want and when you want is what’s right I think. Hopefully you have a loving and patient partner. Ha! Thanks. =0)
I haven’t done it in years, but one of the best ways to masturbate when I was younger was to get in the bath, turn on the water, lie down with my legs up against the wall, positioning my vagina right under the falling water. It was an undignified position, but it sure felt great. I would change the water temperature and or the flow of the water to create different sensations. No doubt you could produce similar effects from water jets in a hot tub, or bath if you have that kind of tub. A shower massager might be interesting too.
I’ve always masturbated, even with a boyfriend in the picture. The best way for me to orgasm is with him penetrating me and I stimulate my clit. It feels good when he does the stimulation too, but I can’t orgasm that way.
Yes! Water is fun! I used to have a fab shower massager that would do wonders. And that position works great on a bed, too!
And yes, the penetration + clit stimulation = magical! ha-ha! Thank you for reminding me of this!
Three words: hot tub jets. Better than a vibrator (though I like my vibrator). I tend to find the vibrator directly on skin too much, so I usually put a sheet between me and it.
Hmm, I would think the jets would be too much. Interesting. Oh wow, you might want a weaker vibe then. I’ve never had one be too much for me. Ha!
I Just wanna say that you rock for posting about this subject! Seriously you are awesome! Second I wanna share my experience with you. Okay so I am young aka 19 years old about to be 20. Anyway over winter break, I decided to get my first vibrator, after talking it over some with my boyfriend. Now I wasn’t really sure what to get, because well I had no clue about vibrators at all. So I decided to go to an adult store and see what was available and maybe ask for help. Let me just clarify I was freaking out nervous when I got to the store. I have no idea why but I guess I was always raised to view sex toys as dirty and gross and the thought of going inside said door was making me have a panic attack, but I managed to gather enough courage to walk inside. My Id was checked of course because I look young. I then headed straight for the vibrator section trying to hide my blushing cheeks from the rest of the customers.
Now here is where I almost had another panic attack the was a WHOLE WALL of VIBRATORS. I had no idea how I was ever going to decide what would work best for me. Therefore after looking at the wall and being quiet intimidated at it, I decided that instead of looking like an idiot at the wall I needed to ask someone for help. I went and found this girl who was working there. To say that I was nervous about having this conversation with this girl is an understatement. However I am glad I did! She was very friendly and asked me what type of stimulation I was looking for, which I told her in a very hush sort of voice. She showed me a few vibrators that would get the job done and not break my piggy bank that she recommended to me.
Let me just say that I am finally glad that I got the courage to go and ask for help to find something that would work for me! Even though I was so nervous and scared mostly because sex stores are just not talked about you know! They are seem as dirty and gross and only prevs go there. The vibrator she suggested to me was awesome and great! It does clitoral stimulation and g-spot stimulation. The vibrator has this neat ability to bend so I can bend the length of it anyway I want to, so that it can get better g-spot action. I don’t know why I waited so long to get one! Man masturbating is so much better with a vibe than without one!
However I still prefer my boyfriend’s hands to anything else. But the vibe does help make masturbating easier! Anyway now that this comment has turned into a blog entry of its own based on length. I still think you are awesome and rock!
Well, thank you and thank you for sharing your experience, too. I will be frank with you, I bought all of my toys (I only have one or two now but went through some crappy ones first) online. I like reading reviews and customer ratings. It helps me a lot. Also, BUST magazine often has reviews on toys or at the very least suggestions in the sex advice section. LOVE BUST!!! It is the mag that introduced me to FA! I am so happy that you found a vibe that works for you. And of course sex is more enjoyable and satisfying with a partner, but hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! Ha-ha! Thanks again, I’m blushing over here!
This is my kind of topic! Fantastic post!
I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs, but I am positively addicted to orgasms. I don’t get off anywhere near as often as I did when I was a teenager, but I’m of the opinion that I should. I feel better when I do, I can handle stress better, and I’m generally calmer and happier. Go figure.
I enjoy going hands-free with my vibrators. I always go for the clitoral stimulators, since that’s what feels best, and that’s where my orgasms come from. I first started masturbating with the water jets on the shower head, though that doesn’t really do much for me anymore. My best orgasms come from using my fingers, though.
I also dislike the complicated stuff about porn, but I reeeally reeally enjoy using it. I sort of trance out when I watch it, and it gives me amazing orgasms when I just don’t think about trying to achieve it.
Thanks everybody for sharing. I think these are things we should all talk about without shame.
Also, remind me sometime to share my special comic with you, Sara!
Oh man, you totally made the song “Orgasm Addict” by The Buzzcocks pop into my head! Nice!
When you say hands-free, are you talking about the ones with straps/leg holes? I’ve never tried ’em, always assumed they wouldn’t work with fatness. Do tell!
About porn, I used to get super skeeved by it. I was of the thinking that if a guy watches porn with a certain type of chick (thin/blond/etc) then he couldn’t possibly be attracted to me. Doy! I was wrong! And I think a lot of the time it’s the action in the porn and not the people in it per se. Also I didn’t know what turns me on in this realm. I enjoyed gay male porn, but only because I like looking at guys and their big stuff! Ha-ha! But now I think I know what I like, only problem there is that it’s often only in lesbian or faux lesbian porn and while I have no issue with that, I’m not gay myself so it’s a bit different.
Ooh, special comic? I can’t wait!
Well, I do have some strap-type vibes, but I moreover meant that I can hold the vibrator in the right spot with my legs while laying down, making it “hands free”. Part of why I love my very fat legs! Also, I feel like the vibe never quite hits the right spot like my fingers can, even if I’m holding it. It’s always juuuust close.
I guess I’m not coordinated enough to hold it with my legs. I’ve tried, believe me, but it just never stays where I need it to. Ha-ha! Hmm…
I did it manually since I was 14 or 15. It wasn’t until a year ago (I’m 21 now) that I went electric and that was only by accident. I found this really old back massager in one of the closets I was cleaning and didn’t know if it still worked (I seriously think it was from the 80’s) so I plugged it in to see otherwise I’d throw it out. I turned it on and it had this crazy strong vibration, the kind where it leaves your hand all tingly after you hold it for like ten seconds. Of course I put two and two together lol But like I said, it was really strong so I had to put it on my bed with the comforter covering it before I could sit on it. Best time of my life!
That thing was louder than all hell though so I could only do it when I was completely sure I’d be alone for a while. Also it died a few months back lol Not because I over used it or anything but because I always had to cover it with the comforter it overheated (remember, it was older than me) Haven’t got the nerve to go out and buy anything new yet. I thought I’d like to buy another back massager or something less obvious than a vibrating dildo but I can just tell that everybody at the checkout stand will already know what I’m going to use it for hahaha. I’ll have to suck it up and go to a sex shop soon cause I’m getting too tired every night, I just wanna hurry up and go to bed sometimes.
Oh! I just saw a commercial two nights ago for a Trojan or KY brand “personal massager” and I thought to myself, “Woo! Now maybe some gals won’t feel weird about it!” but I guess you still have to go to the checkout counter. I say do it anyway. Who cares?! I remember buying condoms the first few times. I was all red cheeked and terrified they’d call for a loud price check or something. Nothing happened. The next time I just decided I’d be all proud about it. And still nothing happened. I know we all have our comfort zones, but there’s so many options now days. You can get ’em everywhere! (amazon, ebay, sex toy sites, walgreens, target, and more–look for reviews for quietness) You don’t have to go to a sex shop, but it is more fun that way. Plus the people who work there can help so much! Last time I went in for a gift for a friend and I was in full-on giggle mode. I couldn’t help it! It was hilarious to me to see a purple glittery dildo far bigger than I would ever imagine attempting…Funny!!! I say go for it. Better than going without!–look for us
Hey, I know I’m kinda jumping in on an old thread, but I have to say it really interests me as a fat masturbator!
Something I want to mention here is the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Now, unless you have experienced it yourself, it can be hard to believe, but in a certain percentage of women when stimulated to the point of orgasm they release clear liquid, sometimes is copious amounts. The reason I bring this up is the fact that for the longest time I was afraid to orgasm because I thought it was causing me to pee and wet the bed. In fact the liquid released is analogous to male seminal fluid. It wasn’t until I got to college and learned from a very progressive sex ed lecture that what I was experiencing was a natural by product and not something to be ashamed of that I finally had the courage to explore myself fully. It just means that things get a little more wet and wild when I decide to have fun!
As for alternatives to the “missionary position” of masturbation, I’ve experimented with stimulating my clit while I was on my knees, holding the stimulator stationary while rocking my hips back and forth. It’s worked for me, so it might be worth a try if you’re feeling adventurous!
Finally, I would like to weigh in on the porn issue. It frustrates me to no end that most porn produced is for male viewers, and almost exclusively shot from the male point of view. That said, there are still a few female hetro friendly sites out there, if you know where to look. Also, I’ve had little problem finding fat friendly porn actually. While there is not nearly the volume, it has a very devoted following, with women ranging from very curvy (big breasts, small waist, big hips), to chubby (pretty must your average woman’s body type), to BBW (Big Beautiful Women, or women who have quite a bit of padding but are still appreciated for their aesthetic beauty.)
Wow! I have always admired juicy ladies! Thank you for sharing this. I am wondering now if this is what happened the last couple of times my husband was working his magic fingers on me and well, I did think I peed a tiny bit because the fluid in question felt similar, not viscous. All I can think in the heat of the moment: Should I roll with it or stifle it? Ha-ha! As for your on the knees suggestion? I always masturbate this way now days. Woo! Thank you for this.
I very much doubt you peed, actually. When a woman ejaculates, the fluid is very viscous, and yes can be easily mistaken for pee. What makes men’s ejaculate thick is the sperm, but you take all that out the liquid the little swimmers are in is pretty viscous as well! So next time you feel that coming in on, roll with it! I find orgasms where I squirt are the most intense.
Thanks. Good to know. I bet a lot of ladies are unaware of this. And the towel thing? For sure! Ha-ha! =0)
Oh, and if you are worried about the mattress, do what I do and just lay down a towel before the action! Pick it up and toss it aside in the after glow, and then through it in the wash with the rest. While it’s not pee, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have it’s own funk.
Late to the party. Didn’t know how relevant our conversations really have been lately! Ha! All links below NSFW.
First of all, you should Google Betty Dodson. She was a sex-positive feminist who drew vulvas to show women the variation and that theirs were okay and also used to hold classes literally showing women their parts and teaching them how to masturbate. I did a research project on her when I was an undergrad. http://dodsonandross.com/
I also used to love Sue Johanson when she was on TV! Did anyone else watch Talk Sex with Sue?
Regarding porn, I agree that there is much less women-centered porn or even just porn that isn’t misogynistic. However, there are some producers and sites out there that use a more woman-friendly approach.
NoFauxxx is certainly more woman friendly, and although it’s pretty queer, they do have straight porn. And, just because you are “straight” doesn’t mean other kinds of porn won’t turn you on. http://www.nofauxxx.com/
And also, Tristan Taormino specifically does porn that is more woman-friendly and ethical. For example, rather than dictating to the people who star in her films, she asks them what they would like to do and goes from there. Also queer-friendly. Her website is http://www.puckerup.com/
April Flores aka Fatty D, a pretty famous fat porn star, works with Tristan.
Also, the Fleshbot blog is fairly fat friendly, and at least pretty fat-aware. They have a woman editor, Lux Alptraum, who I came upon when she ran a blog called Boinkology. There’s a lot of mainstream porn, but there is definitely a good smattering of fat porn, especially now that April Flores is so popular. You can search “BBW” at the top. http://fleshbot.com/
Finally, if you find you don’t really like mainstream porn, I usually suggest two things. Try looking for some “amateur” porn or try reading erotica–there’s LOTs of woman-friendly erotica (fat blogger Nudemuse writes erotica, I hear). Amateur porn tends to be a little less plastic and more often than in mainstream porn people are actually enjoying themselves.
Also, Virgie Tovar is a fantastic fat activist, sex educator, writer of erotica, and fat studies gal. She just recently wrote an article for Good Vibrations called “Sex Education: Lessons in Fatphobia” http://magazine.goodvibes.com/2011/01/17/sex-education-lessons-in-fatphobia/
Love Dodson & Johanson! Great suggestions and links for porn, good thing I don’t have to worry about things being safe for work here. Ha! Thank you so much! I had looked into some amateur porn, but wasn’t really into it I guess. I have since found a couple of clips of ones that do the job, but I dunno, it still seems weird/funny to me. Working on it, but need more exposure perhaps? Love April Flores, haven’t seen her porn, but just pics and she’s gorgeous! So much info! You rock!
Thanks for the link! Now my exploration with masturbation is enhancing 🙂
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Hi,
I have recently gained extra weight and I’m not able to penetrate myself with my fingers anymore because my large stomach gets in the way, my arms are simply too short to reach down and then inside with the extra length my stomach adds to my torso. I’m just wondering if you might have any suggestion on what position might help to remove this problem?
Hi Mandi! First, thank you so much for your comment, and the inspiration (I’ll be writing a post on this very subject!). I consulted my personal experts on the subject and I have some different options that may work for you. Since you specified positions for penetration being your preference I’ll start with those options. Positions for digital penetration may prove difficult depending on your personal flexibility and mobility levels (I have a knee that no longer bends very far), but I have found that laying on my back, with a pillow or two under my butt/hips, and my legs straight up the wall in a v-shape, provided more access/reach. I hope you can try this in a relaxed state and take your time too! I also tried a sort of squat position with my back against the wall or even just my bed with my feet on the floor (this is how I first discovered that I can squirt/ejaculate, so have fun and don’t be alarmed if things get wet!).
My immediate thought was to suggest a dildo with a suction cup base. I have personally tried this, though I was a bit too excited by the idea and ordered a size far too large for my anatomy. I have had friends who have used this style in the shower (suctioned to the wall for a bent over position), the tub ledge -if you have one- for a seated option, and even suctioning it to the toilet seat lid (sounds strange but she really liked the height of her toilet).
I happen to be friends with someone who is a sex educator and a bff who has taught fat specific sex workshops, so I hit them up for ideas, too! They suggested some other toys you may be interested in and I can vouch at least for the womanizer, though pricey and only for clitoral stimulation, once I got used to it it became my preferred toy (even over my magic wand!). If you already have a magic wand (or a knockoff) you might check out the attachments for g-spot stimulation, mine came with two attachments, one straight and one curved. I remember enjoying the hell out of those and the wand provided more than ample reach. Please also check out the fat-specific sex shopping guide here: https://www.goodvibes.com/s/sex-toys/c/gv206/shopping-guides/shopping-guides/fat-positive-shopping-guide
I hope you find what works best for you! And let me know what you think! notblueatall@notblueatall.com <3 S